5 Conditions for a Krishna devotee to marry a Non devotee Meat eater!
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji! I’m practicing Krishna consciousness for about one and half year. I’m in relationship with a non devotee. We both are of same age but I feel like I’m mentally matured than him. He is a every kind and loving person and he is loyal to me. But he is not interested in devotional services and all. He is a kind of materialistic person and he enjoys materialistic things like watching movies and hanging out with friends and all. He loves eating non vegetarian foods. At starting I was ok with him and nowadays I don’t want him to be so materialistic so I started advising him to leave eating non veg and all. He said that he would try to stop eating non veg but he tells that his parents won’t allow him to become vegeterian. He some times told me that He sometimes hate my love for Krishna because he wants him to be loved more! He is sincerely loving me. But both our taste are different we hardly have few in comman. When I asked him to become Krishna conscious he told these words “see you love God but I see love as God, I believe in loving people and taking care of them.” He has love for people and love for God but I don’t know why he is not getting into Krishna consciousness? Why is he not getting into reality? He tells that he is spiritual but whenever I talk about Krishna pastimes he shows less attention. I want to spend time talking about Krishna but he wants to spend time talking about materialism. Prabhu please tell me how can I make him understand the reality that Krishna is everything. I want him to be spiritually advanced than me. How can I do that? Please give me some suggestions prabhu.”
REPLY:
You have already loved him. Now, you like to make him Krishna Conscious. This means, you have loved a person seeing his materialistic features.
If you are this much sincere in Krishna, how could you love a materialistic guy?
For a devotee, love or choice of spouse should come seeing the devotional status of the person.
Of course, I agree that all the devotees may not get Krishna Conscious spouse. But, atleast he should be following some other gods sincerely.
(READ HERE THESE 22 Tips to avoid differences if your husband is not interested in devotion!)
I have written encouraging the girls and boys to marry atleast a person worshiping any demigods if they did not get a Krishna devotee.
This boy seems to be a guy interested in materialistic activities more.
So, if you marry him, either you should reduce your sathsangha participation, or, you should make him a devotee.
Since, he is not showing any signs of coming to Krishna even after your sincere attempts, he should change after marriage after seeing your sincere Krishna Conscious practices.
In such case, you should ask him whether he will allow you to go to the temples and sathsangha after marriage and some rituals at home every day.
If he agrees, consider him.
If he does not agree, you will have to give up devotional practices or you should say No to him now itself.
However, you can chant secretly though your husband does not allow. But, you may find it difficult to offer food to Krishna since he is a non vegetarian and does not agree to give it up.
Since you have fortunately started to review your choice even before the marriage, you can do something. You should enter into marriage with him only if he agrees with your following conditions.
(Can an initiated devotee attend family functions and cook meat for others? READ HERE!)
5 Conditions for a Krishna devotee to marry a Non devotee Meat eater!
(i) He should not object your going to sathsangha and temples.
(ii) He should allow you to chant and offer food to Krishna.
(iii) He and his parents/ sibilings should become a vegetarian, or, he should never eat meat at home. If he and they are particular, they should eat outside in hotel. He should think of quitting meat eating.
(iv) He should allow you to read the literatures on Krishna and he too should atleast read for your satisfaction.
(v) He should not compel you to cook meat at home.
(Should a devotee girl marry a boy who is a meat eater and drinker as arranged by her parents? READ HERE!)
These are the 5 Conditions for a Krishna devotee to marry a Non devotee Meat eater if there is no other way! If he agrees for these conditions, marry him. If not, ask him to leave you.
If you say that you can not give up marrying him, you should sacrifice Krishna Consciousness atleast for the next 10-15 years. You will have to violate the regulative principles.
As a responsible preacher, I can not advise you to accept him and start cooking meat and stop devotional practices. Krishna will not accept such an irresponsible preaching.
So, try your best to convince him to accept the five conditions mentioned above if he wants to marry you.
Allow him some time.
If he agrees, marry him.
If not, don’t worry. You are escaping from future problems.
(Should a wife serve a non devotee husband also? READ HERE!)
Sacrificing a boy for worshiping Krishna is a great thing. Krishna will show you a good guy who will be a devotee or who will cooperate in or allow your devotional practices as you wish.
This world is wide and there are more than 400 crore males.
Look for a right match sincerely. Most of the ISKCON centers are doing the service of showing a good match for their devotees. So, contact your temple president or manager and tell your expectations and register your details there. Or, you can also advertise in our site as mentioned in THIS PAGE.
He will try to arrange one to marry.
(A Devotee wife and Non Devotee husband – How to manage? KNOW HERE!)