Is Marriage between a vegetarian and non vegetarian devotees advisable?
Qn. In Detail from a male doctor:
Hare Krishna, prabhu. Dandabat pranam. Searching answer. Please help me. Sukhdev goswami described 28 types hell in Bhagavada. Sinners go to hell for their bad acts. Like who eat meat will go to kumbhipak hell. When he have already punished for their bad acts, then why they have to take birth again? New devotees who ate meat previously, what about them? Will they take birth again for their previous bad work ?
Want to share with u about my personal issue. Me, a doctor. My parents r senior devotee in iskcon. I am not vegeterian but i chant 6 round daily, follow ekadashi & other fasting. It’s marriage time now. I want to marry devotee person but my parents r confused about me. They think it’s difficult 4 me to follow all rules in Iskcon as I have to work as a doctor. Problem is when I read ur counsellings or other krishna katha I lost in it but when I think about all rules then I lost my interest. I’m ready to eat non veg food but it’s difficult 4 me to eat prasadam always & follow that rules : food prepared by non devotees. My mother said, 1st u marry a non devotee, then later u follow bhakti life step by step. But i want to give birth a devotee child that is impossible if i marry non devotee. Now what should i do, prabhu? On the one hand attraction to krishna, other hand fascination to material world . Pls prabhu give ur valuable opinion as i know u can give me the ideal direction considering my problems.
First I like to clarify three things before advising about the marriage between a vegetarian and non vegetarian devotees:
(1) The meat eaters should realize that there is no use in fasting for ekadasi until they quit meat eating. Because there is no place in Goloka for meat eaters.
(Is it dharma to refuse if my parents compel to take meat? READ HERE!)
(2) Being a doctor is not a barrier to follow the disciplinary regulative principles. It is more convenient as doctors can help the people in distress. In fact, the people consider the doctors as the representatives of God.
(3) It is not wise for a meat eater to marry a vegetarian until he stops meat eating. Otherwise, it will cause problems in life.
You are chanting; You are following ekadasi fasts; You are doing worship; All these sadhanas need some efforts and time; Therefore, you make efforts to chant, fast, worship, etc. Good.
Though being the son of senior devotees, you are eating meat that is irresponsible.
But, you take meat and eat outside more though it is easy to quit meat and you need not take any efforts to stop meat eating. You are following hard tough sadhanas, but, not following easy practice of honouring only prasadam or atleast vegetarian foods.
This shows that you have strong addiction to satisfy your tongue than satisfying Krishna. There are so many delicious preparations without meat. Quitting meat is not difficult like quitting cigarettes or liquor. It is easy to quit meat. Just a resolution of quitting is required.
(10 FOODS KRISHNA DEVOTEES SHOULD EAT AND AVOID! READ HERE!)
Therefore, Please stop eating meat. If you do this, you will become a nice devotee.
Now, about the marriage between a vegetarian and non vegetarian devotee advisable?
Once you have come into the contact of Krishna, the devotion will grow gradually. Therefore, you should not allow the devotion to be affected by marrying a non devotee girl. At the same time, serious devotee girls will also not be suitable to you at this stage of yours, because she will have her own set of rules and you can not fit with her expectations.
Therefore, marry a girl who is doing essential sadhanas like you, but, not initiated.
(My family cooks meat on ekadasi and I am unable to fast. What to do? READ HERE!)
But, the condition is: You should quit meat eating and start honouring only prasadam immediately. No excuse in this. It is not good for a devotee who is part of Srila Prabhupada’s movement to eat meat. You follow all the other three regulative principles, but, why should you miss this meat eating alone that is easy to quit.
Just determination is required, no efforts.
If you remain without eating meat and honouring only prasadam for atleast six months, you will be qualified to marry a practicing devotee girl but, who has not yet got initiated. No issues.
Before marrying the girl, talk to her about your level of devotion and request her that she must help you to grow in devotion after marriage. If she agrees, marry her.
Both of you may go to the temples together and follow devotional practices and chanting together at home.
(TIPS TO BE A VEGETARIAN DEVOTEE IN A NON VEGETARIAN FAMILY! READ HERE!)
The added advantage for both of you will be that your parents are also senior devotees in ISKCON. Therefore, following devotional practices will be very easy for both of you because the entire house will follow devotional way of life.
My assumption is this: You would have been a materialistic guy who got introduced to Krishna in your previous birth and stopped in the middle and again started to follow the materialistic way of life. That is why, You have taken birth as a son for such sincere devotees in this birth. This is what assured by Krishna in Bhagavad Gita. Krishna assures that if you stop your efforts in devotional practices in the middle, you will get a nice birth again in a devotee family with all facilities.
Therefore, this may be your second chance mercifully given by Krishna Himself as assured in Bhagavad Gita.
Therefore, please do not miss this opportunity given by Krishna Himself.
First quit meat, start honouring only prasadam for six months from today. Then, marry an un-initiated devotee girl and then grow in devotion. Both of you can take initiation after both of you are convinced that you can follow all the rules.
(How to cook for Krishna in a non veg family? READ HERE!)
Hope this helps.
About punishments in hells and rebirth:
Hellish life is to clear your past karma of previous birth partly like a token punishment of jail. Further life after jail is to follow the lessons learned from jail life and reform yourself.
Similarly, hells purify you sufficiently to think why we suffer in life. You will be given another chance to lead a life without sins. You will be allowed to clear the remaining balance of past karma in the new birth and follow devotion simultaneously. Lord gives this another chance to see whether you try to come to Him atleast from the next birth.
Therefore, this is just the mercy of Krishna.
(You may also read this post in our another site HERE: IS THE MARRIAGE BETWEEN A VEGETARIAN AND NON VEGETARIAN ADVISABLE OR NOT?)