Is dreaming about future marriage not good for the devotees?

Is dreaming about future marriage not good for the devotees?

(1) A girl devotee who requested anonymity asked like this:

“i constantly day dream i have heard that thinking about future is wrong. I keep dreaming about marriage and things related to it. i m trying to stop my self but i m unable to do so i need help. please don’t mention my name”

(2) Another girl devotee asked like this (I myself have hidden name):

“anna. i am always thinking to love a boy. so far many boys have proposed me. so, i m disturbed. i too like to marry one of them but fear as i am a girl. i am jealous when i see some friends are not caring boys n study well. but, i m unable to study well as i am disturbed seeing those boys who proposed me. i m guilty. pl rescue me from this. i m now doing plus two”


Dreaming about future marriage is natural for the devotees and also all. That is why, there is population on earth. If there is no dreaming, this earth would have emptied.

But, you should keep those thoughts under control. You are very young and these feelings are not love, may be infatuation only.

Instead of ‘dreaming’ about future marriage, “Planning” for future marriage may be good.

(Why should Krishna give senses and also expect Purity in devotion? READ HERE!)

Because, while “dreaming”, only our emotions dominate. So, there may be chances for wrong choices.

But, while “planning”, our intelligence works more and hence we will review all the pros and cons related to a particular person and then take a right decision.

Some things can not be controlled by force. In every stage of life, different types of aspirations will raise and disturb us.

In the childhood age, the children always think of sweets, chocolates, biscuits, games, going out for sight seeing, travelling by bus/ train, like that. This is common for all the children. No one is exempted.

When the children attain the age of 11-13, their body’s glands start to secrete the harmones such as Projesterone/ estrogen in females and testosterone in males. These harmones initiate the growth of secondary sexual characters in the children of age 13-15, such as body changes, growth of hairs, etc. When these changes occur, the child will evaluate himself/ herself and think “why these changes occur in me?”

(Controlling Senses Mind & False Ego using Intelligence given by Krishna! READ HERE!)

These harmones create some pleasant feeling in their mind when they see the persons of opposite sex. So, they like to discuss with the persons of opposite sex. As they experience these feelings for the first time, they become confused and they are unable to control their mind beyond a level.

As a result, even 12-15 years old girls/ boys start to love now a days. In older days, there were social controls that restricted the interaction of boys and girls. Now, any boy and girl can discuss unlimitedly using the technology. So, you are finding the agitations more.

Because of such more and more chances for interacting with the persons of opposite sex daily in school/ colleges/ street/ apartments/ colonies/ clubs/ temples, etc., the current day youth face more and more disturbances and agitations of mind.

So, they dream of marrying or talking to some person always. This is unavoidable now a days. This kaliyuga is becoming an yuga of violations.

In this situation, you are just dreaming about marriage and related things. It is natural for a girl who is in teen age or in twenties. You need not feel shy for that.

These feelings will be more for some boys/ girls and less for some boys/ girls. But all have such feelings in their teen age. If anyone says NO, he may be lying or pretending or he must have some problems in his body or psyche. This is a feeling programmed in our body like hunger to eat. In fact, as per Bhagavatham, these feelings too originate from Krishna’s body.

But, if you fail to control this disturbances, you can not do any other work perfectly. Even when you go before the deity of God, such disturbances will disturb you. You can not concentrate in studies.

So, though these dreaming about future marriage  and related feelings are natural in the teen age and twenties, you have to control them. How?

1. You have to surrender to the MASTER OF SENSES. Who is the master of senses? Krishna. who is called “Hrishikesha”, ie, the Master of senses.

(Can we become God if we desert material sense related desires? READ HERE!)

Even when His 16,108 wives tried all their tricks to induce Krishna, they could not induce Him. He lived with them just to satisfy their wish and as a perfect grahastha. Not to satisfy His senses, because, He is always in the state of perfect sanyasa.

Just surrender alone is not enough. You have to practice with the recommended saadhanas. If you SINCERELY AND OFFENSELESSLY chant 16 rounds a day, read literatures about Krishna, avoid interacting excessively with materialistic friends and being in sathsangha more, your senses will come under control.

2. While involving in the above activities, if you are above 18, you can definitely marry and control your senses with the help of your spouse. So, tell your parents to see a good guy and marry him. Do not feel shy. If you feel shy now, you may have to pay heavy price of performing poorly in studies and job. It may even lead to some offenses.

3. If you are eating onion, garlic, meat, too much of masala items in food, some inducing vegetables like drumstick, etc, stop them. Because all the above mentioned items have either main effects or side effects of inducing our senses and hence we will always be in dream about marriage or the persons of opposite sex. So, Honour only prasadam offered to Krishna.

So, marry and also involve in devotional practices as said above and avoid certain things. You will become alright. No need for guilty for these natural feeling and dreaming about future marriage. Just control them using the shield of Krishna.

Krishna, who is the master of senses called Hrishikesa, will help you regulate your senses. Who else can help better than Krishna?

(Why should one be pure till marriage as most of the people are violating? READ HERE!)

Author: RAJAN

RAJAN from Tamil Nadu, India, a Life Patron and an Initiated Devotee being in ISKCON for nearly three decades, serves anonymously to avoid Prominence and crowd as an insignificant, Humble and Neutral Servant for all the devotees of Krishna! He promotes Social media forums and this blog-website as e-satsangha (e-forums) blessed with Lakhs of followers, to give Spiritual Solutions for all the Material Problems of the devotees since 2011! He writes friendly and practical tips to practice devotion (i) without hurting the followers of other paths, (ii) without affecting the personal and career life, and (iii) without the blind, superstitious and ritualistic approach! He dedicates all the glories and credits to his Guru and Krishna.