HOW SHOULD A DEVOTEE TAKE IF HIS MARRIAGE ARRANGEMENT FAILS?
A MALE DEVOTEE (NAME HIDDEN) ASKED LIKE THIS:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji. I am a 28 years old bachelor. With this age, parents have started seeking marriage proposals for past 1 year. My upbringing has been in such a way that only arranged marriage was seen as the possible option. During my graduation, I developed feelings for a girl but kind of never expressed with confidence mainly due to low self-esteem, social differences and fear of rejection. Naturally, the girl moved on but I was stuck in the emotional rut even after passing my graduation. Somehow, time healed everything and I was happy with my job. During this time, I felt closer to ISKCON mainly due to their teachings and guidance available in abundance. Hence, I became an ardent follower of various discourses by ISKCON devotees and a regular listener of Mahamantra. From the past 1 year, I have received few proposals but somehow things did not work out. But there was one proposal where horoscope, caste and qualifications matched perfectly. Although, there was initial resistance due to physical attributes of the girl but somehow I convinced myself that character and personality goes a long way in the marriage. Gradually, girl’s parents expressed their desire to meet my family. Since, our family and caste are bit conservative, meeting the groom’s family is considered to be generally positive. Their desire to meet us made my parents hopeful about our alliance. I also became convinced that this might be a good proposal mainly due to matching of family, qualifications etc. Moreover, we waited for more than 4 months to meet since the proposal first arrived. We met and girl was asked for her opinion post which some formal gifts were also exchanged, indicating that their will be no further search. But things changed after this abruptly. My family was shocked when there were no replies even after days of calling and messaging girl’s family. But finally, my family received an indirect rejection through mediator. Prabhuji, now I understand that every one has the right to be happy and contended in their life. They can make any choice to pursue their happiness. But this event has been quite painful for me. This event has revived the traumatic experience of my graduation days. It is not first time that my desires have not met their end-result but this event has made me hopeless. Now, I do not feel any excitement to pursue goals or desires since their is a fear that God will any way take away this…..what is the use of putting efforts? I humbly request you to please guide me as each day has become a burden in itself. Also, if problems continue to persist how will I be able to develop my faith and surrender in Krsna?”
This actually happens for your goodness. You are worrying for that.
Actually, For a certain group of persons, there will be one or more particular planets in the second and seventh house of their horoscope that will make the efforts for marriage fail.
In most of the cases, this karma of ‘proposal failure’ may get relieved if they fail in one or a few of their attempts.
If the marriage stops after the betrothal, the girl/ boy’s next attempt and performance of marriage may become successful and happy.
If the severity of karma is less, even if a few of their marriage attempts fail, they will one day get a good bride or groom.
In some cases, if the first marriage ends in divorce or separation because of tortures, his/ her second marriage may be very successful because the failure in his/ her first marriage acts as the karma clearance.
Some boys or girls may have a delayed marriage after 30. It will be good for them. You should see your horoscope whether you have early marriage or delayed marriage.
So, in astrology, the failures are not negatives.
They are the clearance of our particular karma.
In case, in his previous birth, a boy had assured a girl to marry and then had backtracked from his words that delayed the marriage of that girl for a certain period, in this birth, the boy will face one or two failures in his marriage attempts and then will face success in his marriage arrangements.
In case, in his/ her previous birth a boy/girl had stopped the marriage of someone and that boy or girl remained unmarried throughout his/ her life, this severe karma will make this boy/ girl remain unmarried throughout his/ her life in this birth.
So, in your case, you may have the karma of facing the failures for one or two times in your marriage attempts.
So, in your future attempts, you may succeed in your efforts to find a right girl.
Since you would have cleared the karma related to marriage because of past failures of marriage attempts, your future attempts may be successful.
Since you are a devotee, you should not lament for the refusal of the parents of that girl because Krishna might have saved you from an unsuitable alliance that seem suitable for you. That girl may not be suitable for you according to Krishna’s evaluation because Krishna knows the karma of you and that girl.
This failure may be an escape for you from a future disaster.
Krishna never allows an arrangement if it will affect His devotees. In this way, He might have protected you from getting affected after marriage with that girl.
Krishna will have a good arrangement for you.
In case the college friend is still unmarried, tell her over phone, just visit her house and speak to her parents about marrying her.
If she agrees to marry you, take this step daringly. If you hesitate, she may be married by someone.
Just ask her in a convincing manner. If her parents agree, marry her and be happy.
If they do not agree, don’t worry. Krishna would have arranged a still better girl for you.
Wait till He shows to you in your right time.
Do not lose your hope in any stage of your life.
Krishna will never allow His devotees suffer for ever. He is allowing such failures for some good reasons.
If you like to evaluate your horoscope and know about your marriage possibilities, act as said in THIS PAGE.