BEING AFRAID OF MARRIAGE: CAUSES & THINGS TO DO!

BEING AFRAID OF MARRIAGE: CAUSES & THINGS TO DO!

A girl devotee (I myself have hidden her name) asked like this:

“Hare Krishna. Please clarify my doubt. Can marriage force into our life? I m badly afraid of marriage. Plz plz plz do clarify my doubt.     Could it be avoided?”

REPLY:

I have already said that marriage is a private affair.

A person has all rights to remain unmarried throughout his life time. However, if the reason is genuine, it is good.

(Are marriage & spouse fixed by God? How? READ HERE!)

You have written that you are afraid of marriage.  I do not know why you should fear for marriage.

There may be anyone of the following reasons for being afraid of marriage.:

(1) One or more of your relative girls/ boys would have failed in marriage life.  If yes, remember, there are majority of successful marriages also.  Think of them.

(2) Or, they may be struggling with quarrels in their life and it might have affected your psychology. There are majority of happy couples also in this world that you have to remember.

(3) You may hate the modern trend of society, such as the party culture of many youth, immorality among some married couples, easy splitting of some marriages,  money minded grooms or brides, selecting girls based on financial background, etc…   Remember, there are boys who have same principles like you.  Look for him and marry.

(Is avoiding marriage thinking Krishna as husband right? READ HERE!)

(4) Any boy would have assured of his love and then gone back later that might have affected your heart.  (Just one of the possible options, not affirmative.).  If this is the case, remember that this world is wide and this world does not end with that boy.  So, select one of a gem among boys.  Love him after marriage.

(5) Any person would have misbehaved to you in your childhood or recently that might have made you to hate the males altogether. (Just one of the possible options, not affirmative. Sorry).  Remember,  these people are existing since the period of Krishna’s descendence on earth.  So, still crores of marriages have been happening.  Forget the past and proceed towards future.

(6) Some of your friends would have spoken to you negatively about marriages.  Remember, a coin has two sides and avoid such friends hereafter.

(7) Some spiritual organiZations or devotees would have unnecessarily spoken to you that marriage life is a hellish life and it will hinder the spiritual growth, or married persons are second grade persons compared with brahmacharis/ sanyasis, like that.

(Is marriage between initiated and uninitiated devotees advisable? READ HERE!)

It is wrong to speak like this commonly though the speaker is a spiritual personality.  Because, both the grahastha life and brahmachari life will have its own plus and minuses.  All the people can not follow sanyasa perfectly. Grahastha ashram is safe for senses.  Because, in thirties and forties, the senses will disturb the people more.  So, prevent that by marrying now itself.

(8) Your family situation may be financially weak or you have no one to look for a groom for you.  There are many boys who want wife only, not money.  Select one among them patiently and hopefully.

(9) You do not have the desire to love any boy and hence you might have felt as inferior.  Remember, you are a good girl and the future husband should be fortunate to marry such an innocent girl.

(10) You may hate the marriage just out of fear of how to manage a family, children, studies, how the husband will be, how his family will be, etc, etc.  Remember, the Lord gives strength to you for dealing with all the difficulties arising now and then.

(Will selecting a devotee for marriage seeing appearance work correctly? READ HERE!)

He only teach the new born child how to suck milk from mother.  Who taught this art to the new child?  So, He will guide in all stages of life also.  Believe.

These are the ONLY POSSIBLE REASONS for which a girl or boy hates family life.  I think that I have collected all the reasons perfectly.  There can be no other reasons for avoiding marriage.

I have solved all your problems here and hopefully enter into marriage by selecting a right person matching your nature.  Pray to lord.

Don’t worry.  If the marriage life is not successful even after your careful selections, a girl has every right to come out of it,  if the life can NEVER be led with that person if he has serious problems.

I am not that much adament to advise the girls to clean the feet of her husband if he is having many extra marital relations.  I am in favour of genuine husbands and wives and I will never support separation among them.

(Is Remarrying same divorced spouse allowed to reduce karma? READ HERE!)

If I am a girl, I can not live with a heavy drunkard, chain smoker, womaniser, psycho who beats wife for no reasons, etc.  All other problems can be tolerated, and forgiven.  The above problems can not be tolerated and hence the girls need not live with such unqualified persons.

Among this list, a girl may forgive even a smoker as it can be quit gradually or he is not losing his consciousness after smoking, but, living with a drunk addict is very very difficult because, he forgets himself after drinking and does all the sinful acts in a drunken state..

In case you like to avoid marriage even after these advices, involve seriously in the service of Krishna who is the master of senses.

Hope you are clear about being afraid of marriage: causes & things to do!

(Fearing for marriage after initiation unwilling to part parents & Solutions! READ HERE!)

Author: RAJAN

RAJAN from Tamil Nadu, India, a Life Patron and an Initiated Devotee being in ISKCON for nearly three decades, serves anonymously to avoid Prominence and crowd as an insignificant, Humble and Neutral Servant for all the devotees of Krishna! He promotes Social media forums and this blog-website as e-satsangha (e-forums) blessed with Lakhs of followers, to give Spiritual Solutions for all the Material Problems of the devotees since 2011! He writes friendly and practical tips to practice devotion (i) without hurting the followers of other paths, (ii) without affecting the personal and career life, and (iii) without the blind, superstitious and ritualistic approach! He dedicates all the glories and credits to his Guru and Krishna.