Will Krishna reform abusing husbands if the wife likes to avoid divorce?
A woman devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Dear sir, my husband drinks atleast twice a week in the parties given by office staff and tortures me in bed also. When I refuse, he doubts me whether I have extra marital affairs. I am chanting, offering food to Krishna, follow ekadasi fasts and all. I feel difficult to live with him. But, I have younger sisters to get married. So, I don’t want to divorce him that will affect the marriage of sisters. What should I do to correct my husband? Why don’t my present sadhanas help me?”
REPLY:
Reformation of a person is a time taking process. But, can be achieved in this life time itself.
Yes, Krishna can reform your husband if you are sincere in following devotional practices and keep praying without violating stri dharma.
(Should a wife serve a non devotee husband also? READ HERE!)
As per Stri dharma, a woman should give her service to her husband as her husband is her guru because marriage is a new birth for women. They leave their parents’ home and accept the husband’s family as her family.
Though the husband is not a devotee, serving the husband will invite the mercy of Krishna because Krishna will be pleased when His devotee woman follows her stri dharma.
Take the example of Pisima ji, who was the sister and even god sister of Srila Prabhupada. Her situation was worser than yours.
Her husband was a non-devotee. He had all the qualities of a rogue.
He did not follow even a single principle among four regulative principles.
He loved taking meat.
He was a drinker.
He was an addict for women having extra marital affairs.
He was very much involved in gambling.
No woman can live with such a guy. Present day women will divorce such a guy within a month of marriage.
(Can a girl divorce the drinker & torturing husband after aborting the baby? READ HERE!)
She was living a hellish life with him.
Frustrated Pisima ji came to Srila Prabhupada and asked what she should do in this situation.
He did not advise her to divorce him.
Instead, he advised her to do what she learned from her mother, ie, to serve her husband and to pray to Krishna for the reformation of her husband. He also advised her not to argue with her husband.
Srila Prabhupada further told her:
“Remember those Deities that we worshiped when we were children? I have them here, I’ll give them to… You worship Them, Radha-Govinda, and you keep praying to Them, and They’ll help you.”
Thus, for a serious material problem, he gave a spiritual solution.
(HOW TO DEAL IF THE “DEVOTEE HUSBAND OR WIFE” IS INTERESTED IN SENSE GRATIFICATION? READ HERE!)
She followed what Srila Prabhupada advised her.
She was just following her prescribed duties without criticizing her husband.
She just kep on following her stri-dharma
Krishna too was pleased with her service to the husband though he is not qualified as a good husband.
A woman who follows stri dharma properly, she makes direct spiritual advancement, as a brahmacari makes by serving his guru. Since Krishna gets pleased with your following your stri dharma, He can change the husband. You can not change your husband.
(22 Tips to avoid differences if your husband is not interested in devotion! READ HERE!)
What happened to her life thereafter?
Her husband came to her after sometime and begged her for forgiveness. He admitted his bad qualities and acts. He also realized the greatness of his wife who always works in his best interest.
Finally, He ended up worshiping his wife. He felt: “She is serving me and the Deities so faithfully, and she wants nothing but the best for me, and she is praying to Krishna for me.”
Thus, he reformed himself that was the act of Krishna who got pleased with the services of the sister of srila Prabhupada.
So, if you question me Will Krishna reform abusing husbands, my reply is Yes, by following Stri dharma and Serving husband as well as Krishna we can make Krishna do wonders.
As I said before, it will definitely take some time as reformations always need time to happen.
So, just be patient and serve your husband as a duty and keep serving and praying to Krishna.
He will do wonders in your life too. Do not lose the hope.
(HOW TO DEAL IF THE “DEVOTEE HUSBAND OR WIFE” IS INTERESTED IN SENSE GRATIFICATION? READ HERE!)