Will selecting a devotee for marriage seeing appearance work out?
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“There are female devotees who post their pictures with extremely materialistic clothes in social media just like people who are in materialistic life. I know we shouldn’t judge anyone based on their clothes but how to determine whether someone is in serious devotion or not, especially female because I am looking for a good nice devoted girl to marry and I am confused as there are some devotees who wear modern dresses but not extremely revealing and then some who dresses with materialistic type of clothes, I am confused as to who are really devoted and who are not. Clothing is not problem for me as long as that girl is really devoted but the way of clothing by some devotees confuses me how to judge the nature of a devotee girl. Please guide.”
REPLY:
Ha Ha. Interesting confusion.
See, we should not judge a devotee seeing clothes alone.
See, there are majority of gems of devotees in devotee clothing who are honestly trying to follow purity.
(Finding Match for marriage Satisfying both Parents and Krishna! Tips! READ HERE!)
At the same time, there are some violators also in devotee clothing. We know many godmen who came in news for violations had also worn clothes like a renounced person.
At the other side, there are many gems of persons who wear materialistic clothes with good character and helping nature.
So, Clothing alone is not a deciding factor to judge a person. So, selecting a devotee for marriage seeing appearance alone may not be good.
In Tamil, there is a saying: “All those in jails are not criminals; And, all those in the outside world are not Good people”
This means that Good and bad people are there in both devotee dress and materialistic dress.
Just because a miss universe is selected, it does not mean that she alone is beautiful. There are crores of beautiful girls in the world. She may be ok from among those who contested the contest.
(IMPACT OF MARRIAGE & CHILD BIRTH IN LIFE BASED ON KARMA! READ HERE!)
One can reject a devotee girl or boy if she/ he is wearing clothes in a compromised position.
One can reject a devotee if he is a violator of discipline.
One can reject a devotee if he is involved in financial fraud with the funds of temples.
But, still these violators are minority. There are thousands of devotees who are working hard for Krishna sacrificing their own life.
You can choose one among them and marry.
If one likes to marry, he/ she should spend more time to select a suitable bride or groom.
You can be a part of sathsangha and select a girl/ boy by watching the activities of the devotees.
You should not lose your hope seeing the violating minorities.
Just because a small percentage of devotees behave like materialistic persons, you should not brand the whole devotee community as a group of violators.
(Horoscope (Kundli) Matching for marriage: Do Acharyas recommend it? READ HERE!)
Similarly, just because there are a part of people in the outside world are double faced violators, you should not consider the whole society as the group of fraudulent people.
Above all, whatever you try, you may be forced to enjoy or suffer as written in your karma account.
Even the exalted acharyas like Sri Ramanujacharya, Srila Prabhupada, etc have faced challenges and sufferings in their poorvashrama grahastha life.
So, karma is acting on everyone and forcing us to act in such a manner.
Even becoming a sanyasi is written in one’s karma and horoscope.
In my horoscope, it has been written that I will suffer severely if I lead a materialistic life for myself and my family, but will be blessed with popular service if I take up devotional service to Krishna/ Vishnu as the primary activity and purpose of my life.
Why?
My fifth lord is Mercury that is in its own house strongly. Since Mercury represents Krishna, I took Krishna as my favorite God.
Since my lord of Lagna Saturn is in the second house, I am able to give predictions thru horoscopes that has become popular among the devotees for its trustworthiness.
(If our spouse is already decided by karma, why should we see horoscopes for marriage? READ HERE!)
Jupiter’s aspect to Rasi and Lagna and 9th Lord in 5 gave me a good diksha guru in this birth.
Thus, my previous birth’s Samskaras made me an astrologer and a Krishna devotee and a preacher.
I gave these details to show that we will be directed by our karma and past life samskaras.
So, your marriage life too has already been recorded in your karma.
You have two choices to clear your karma in marriage:
(1) Accept your karma and clear the karma by facing the married life though with some sufferings. Follow the devotion as a grahastha devotee.
(2) Or, become a true sanyasi devotee and lead a detached life with Krishna Prema that burns your karma.
The second method needs serious determination to adopt Krishna Consciousness.
(HOW SHOULD A DEVOTEE TAKE IF HIS MARRIAGE ARRANGEMENT FAILS? READ HERE!)
If possible, follow the second way. If you have doubts and if you have the karma of marriage in your horoscope, enter into marriage and Pray to Krishna to protect you in your married life. Whether your spouse is cooperative or not, if you follow devotion sincerely as a grahastha, Krishna will make all the arrangements to give Krishna Prema to you in due course of time.
So, don’t hesitate to marry a devotee just because some devotees fail to follow discipline. Your future has been recorded in your karma already.
We are helpless. There is only one protective shelter for us. That is our Guru and Krishna’s mercy.
So, without worrying about selecting a devotee for marriage seeing appearance, go with the directions of your karma if you do not associate with the devotees.
There is a way to become a devotee though it is not written in your karma. When you associate with the sincere devotees and great spiritual personalities, their spiritual vibrations will be shared to you and hence the association of devotees will give you devotional taste though it is not written in karma.
Thus, there are many ways to remain a good devotee. So, proceed boldly in life trusting the mercy of Krishna and the associating Vaishnavas.
Hope now you are clear about selecting a devotee for marriage seeing appearance.
(12 TIPS TO FIND A MATCHING DEVOTEE BOY OR GIRL FOR MARRIAGE! READ HERE!)