Is having only Krishna as husband & unwilling to serve a man right?
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
I have a small Giridhar deity with me….. I always keep it with me where ever I go…. I stepped towards krishna in my childhood. …. I used to write bhajn for my krishna in my childhood…. which is being continued till now….. I love Krishna more than everything…. but the problem is that I want a spiritual atmosphere around me….. my family belongs to sikhism. … n my parents are not in much favour…. I want to devote my whole life in serving Krishna…. travelling to Vrindavan and mayapur….stay in vrindavan with the devotees….. but this is very tough….bcoz my family will never allow me….neither they ever take me to Vrindavan for visit… But some how I manage to go with my friends to my Vrindavan. …. many people have given me advice to marry a devotee but that’s not possible at all bcoz I consider krishna as my husband. …so I will not accept anyone else…. My mother is always thinking about taking my giridhari away from me…. I understand that this can be her concern for me… But I want to stay with devotee girls in Vrindavan. …. devote my life to krishna…. Can u give any suggestion on this? Hare krishna”
REPLY:
If every girl thinks like this, Krishna need not have given birth to any males and could have filled the world only with the women.
Krishna has given equal number of males and females in this world. Because He likes to maintain a social order by allotting a boy for a girl and vice versa.
Of course, you have every right to remain alone worshipping Krishna, but, it is recommended only when you never get any boy to marry due to karma.
(BEING AFRAID OF MARRIAGE: CAUSES & THINGS TO DO! READ HERE!)
When you get a good devotee boy to marry, you need not feel aversion to marry.
If a boy wears underwear inside his pant, it is natural. But, if he wears above his pant, it is unnatural. Because, there is a system for wearing clothes.
Similarly, when you are blessed by the Lord with a husband to marry, there is no need to hesitate to marry.
Usually, some girls and boys develop aversions in the married life after coming to the devotional practices. If there are strong reasons for that, its ok. But, in your case, you love Krishna and consider Him as your husband. This has been practiced by some exalted souls like Meera Bai.
However, in the present society, the safety for girls is not encouraging. When a girl is alone, till she attains the old age, many boys will be approaching for marrying her or even to disturb her.
And, we should not see our future ONLY IN OUR PERSPECTIVE. We have to consider the aspirations of our parents also. No parent will be happy to keep their daughter unmarried for ever.
(Will Krishna treat all as wife if every soul treats Krishna as husband? READ HERE!)
So, atleast for the sake of satisfying the duty bound desire of parents, everyone should consider marriage and try for it. In case, a person gets no boy or girl even after sincere attempts even after attaining marriageable age, he/ she may consider remaining alone and serve the Lord as a touring devotee as desired by you.
As per the words of Srila prabhupada, for a wife, her husband is the representative of Krishna. So, just by serving her husband, a girl can attain the same status attained by her husband after leaving this body.
As explained by me in another post a few days ago, Srila prabhupada did not support the girl devotees remaining unmarried UNLESS THEY DO NOT GET ANY GROOM. If a girl do not get a boy to marry even after many years of efforts, that means, she is destined to spend her life ONLY TO SERVE KRISHNA directly.
Of course, Krishna is the husband for all the females in this world as said by Srila prabhupada. That means, all the relations originate from Lord. That’s all.
Take Gopis. They are 100’s in number. They considered Krishna as their lover though most of them are already married. So, no barrier for loving Krishna after getting married to a devotee. I can guarantee that NO HUSBAND WILL OBJECT HIS WIFE IF SHE LOVES KRISHNA, BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT SHE LOVES THE SUPREME LORD ONLY, NOT ANY OTHER MAN.
If you marry, a devotee boy will get a good wife to assist him in his devotional practices. You too will be able to follow devotion still comfortably with the help of devotee husband. Marriage is not just for enjoyments. It is for serving Krishna together with the spouse.
(Is an unqualified non devotee husband also a representative of Krishna? READ HERE!)
And, most of the acharyas were grahasthas in their previous ashrama. So, no acharya will deny the ashram of marriage for girls and boys because it will give a control for senses that will help them to perform devotion comfortably.
So, consider marrying a devotee boy and living with him considering him as the representative of the Lord or Gift of the Lord.
Finally, If your karma says that you have marriage in this birth, you will be pushed into marriage and you can not prevent it.
In case your karma says that you have no marriage in this birth, you can not get a boy though you try following all means.
So, all depends on your karma. Act as per the directions of karma and do not unnecessarily fight with karma because karma network is more powerful than your muscles and mind.
Hope you are clear now about having only Krishna as husband & unwilling to serve a man.
(Is avoiding marriage thinking Krishna as husband right? READ HERE!)