Who should marry earlier before the age 25?
‘A male devotee (Name hidden)’ asked like this:
“hare krishna prabhuji…i need counselling on marriage issues. i have seen some of my cousins marrying in early age. according to some books, upto 25 years, a human should follow brahmacharyasram, is it good for spiritual life to marry early. what if when elders force someone to marry. i need to stop this thing in our country. am i on right track. plz plz plz guide me
REPLY:
Ha Ha. What are you going to stop in our country?
It is a general advice only. This depends on the person concerned. In fact, the marriage should be done still earlier, ie, even before 25 in kaliyuga because there are so many diversions for the youth.
When Srila Prabhupada married, he was in his early twenties and his wife was just 11.
My mother was given in marriage in her age of 14, to my 22 years old father. This was the custom those days and it was not objected by the Lord also when He descended to the earth.
(How to Take if Marriage Efforts Fail for Devotees? Tips! READ HERE!)
Because marriage is a private affair and it should be decided by the person concerned. Of course the scriptures advise to practice brahmacharya till the age 25 for MALES ONLY. Girls were advised early marriage immediately after attaining puberty in those days (Or even before puberty).
Because, (i) they will learn all secrets of life even in young age as husband and wife and go for other productive duties after that. (ii) and, they can develop their children well when they are healthy, as they get married earlier.
However, there were risks of death of mother in their first delivery as even 13 years old child delivered children before the full maturity of organs. And, there were child widows even in the age of 13-14 when the husband dies in the young age. And, remarriage was also not allowed. This is cruel. Only because of some reformists, such child marriage practices ended in India.
However, the marriage should also not be postponed too much as the body and mind will not cooperate sufficiently after certain age. 18 – 21 may be the right cut off age for marriage for girls as their bodies and mind will have achieved full growth by then. 11-14 is too earlier. They were child marriages.
But, you need not strictly follow that age factor if you fall into the following categories, because there are some exemptions also. Let us see those cases of such exemptions:
CASE-1:
If a person is VERY MUCH DISTURBED by senses, it is better to marry earlier without shyness. Because, soon he will understand that there is nothing in sense gratification and it is unending and hence he will concentrate in the devotion seriously.
In other words, if a girl or boy has very powerful Venus planet in the horoscope, he/ she will long for early marriage and the parents should understand it and fulfil his physical needs.
Because of Venus, he/ she will find it very difficult to control their senses. So, we must give them in marriage even in the age of less than 20. If we delay, they may be thinking of opposite sex and will be admiring the beauty of opposite sex within the mind or will do some physical offences.
(Many devotees are unmarried. But, Non devotees Get married earlier. Why? READ HERE!)
CASE-2:
If a person has negative Venus, ie, Venus getting debilitated or combust, he will have excessive physical disturbances that won’t follow any rules. So, he can be given in marriage even before 25. When we match an uninterested boy to an uninterested girl, they will manage as both of them will not have much interest in sex life.
CASE-3:
If the person has interest in ‘s..x’, but, he/ she has a fear of entering into the marriage life, and hence remain unmarried beyond 25, he may involve in some violations like satisfying with just ‘touching and abusing’ of many girls without having deep physical relations with them.
CASE-4:
Some persons may have negative planets in their second or seventh house. Such persons should marry only after the age of 30. Otherwise, their life may face more problems.
So, in all cases, marriage becomes necessary for a person. The case -1 should get married before 20. The Case-2 persons should marry before 25. The case -3 persons should marry before 25 or atleast before 28 after making up his/ her mind. But, the case -4 persons should marry only after 30-32. More delay – More goodness.
(Is a Girl marrying a younger boy acceptable as per the Scriptures? READ HERE!)
WHO SHOULD NOT MARRY WITHOUT SOME CONSIDERATIONS??
(1) Those who do not have any desire for opposite sex and they are 100% confident that they will remain pure though they skip marriage. If they perform illicit sex, it adds to their karma. So, decide after sincerely evaluating.
(2) Those who hate opposite sex. They should never marry till they make up their mind.
(3) Those whose horoscope says that marriage is NOT POSSIBLE for him/ her. But, they should maintain discipline.
(4) Those who has abnormal and unusual sexual character like having relations with multiple girls/ boys, different sexual orientations, etc., should not marry and spoil the life of a person.
(5) Those who are suffering from lethal diseases should marry only after informing the “would be” about their disease and its risks.
(6) Those males who have no earning at all. (Because, a family can not be run without money).
(7) Those who are unable to forget their failed love even after sincere attempts. They should marry only after making up their mind understanding the reality. Otherwise, they will be leading double life.
There are many more points. I will tell them later if needed.
(How to marry earlier as said by the scriptures if the planets delay? READ HERE!)