Is a Girl marrying a younger boy & a boy marrying elder girl right?
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji, Dandavat Pranaam. My name is ………………….., I am a girl looking for a devotee life partner, but not getting any suitable match till now, my age is 30 years. My parents are worried since not getting any suitable match from devotee community and I am not interested in non-devotee proposals, since time is passing, they became worried. Even I am also don’t understand what should I suppose to do if I will not get any suitable devotee groom and also my age is increasing and may not get any match from non-devotees also. But I have no interest to consider non devotee because the thinking, lifestyle everything is different. Please guide me in this matter. Kindly also tell, can we know whether our life partner will be a devotee or non-devotee through our horoscope.
One more thing Prabhuji if a girl will be elder than groom by 1 year or 2 year is it a problem. Please enlighten based on scriptures and what is spiritual significance to it. Is it a problem in spiritual life? Kindly explain.
Please hide my name…Thank you Prabhuji, Hare Krishna”
REPLY:
(1) To know the issues involved if a devotee marries a non devotee, read the following posts of our site:
Can a Serious devotee Girl long for a casual devotee boy eating meat? READ HERE!
Risks of a devotee marrying Non-devotees, Meat eater, Drinker, etc! READ HERE!
And, to know how to find a perfect devotee match, Read THIS POST.
Now, Let us see about a Girl marrying a younger boy & a boy marrying elder girl.
Since you have asked to reply based on the Scriptures, let us take the views of the standard – bonafide scriptures on a Girl marrying a younger boy & a boy marrying elder girl.
‘Manu’ says that there should be the age difference of 16-18 years between the girl and boy.
Mahabharatha too recommends more than 15 years of age difference between the boy and girl.
Age difference means that the girl should be younger than the boy.
This advice is based on the material considerations.
The men have the ability to involve in mating even till the age of 65 or 70.
But, the women have some difficulties and less interest in that activity after their menopause, ie, in the age of around 50.
The women attain menopause earlier than men.
This is the natural arrangement in the creation of human beings.
Therefore, the difference in the age of loss of interest in mating is about 15-20 years between the men and women.
(Is marriage between initiated and uninitiated devotees advisable? READ HERE!)
That is why, Manu suggested the age difference between the men and women as 16-18 years.
However, Manu suggested the marriage for even 8 years old girl.
In those days, the children were married even before their puberty and the couples stayed with the parents till they attain the self standing stage in life.
Since the girls and boys were fixed for marriage among the relatives, mostly arranged marriages among the children of the relatives happened.
It is not suitable for the present social scenario because nuclear families have become the order of life. The married couples have to manage their families themselves with their own earning without the support of other members of family such as siblings, parents, etc.
So, the marriages happen mostly after the age of twenties only.
(Will selecting a devotee for marriage seeing appearance work correctly? READ HERE!)
The boys and girls think of the marriage only after settling well in their career.
Many girls and boys marry even after their age of 27-28 or even 30.
However, marrying a girl younger than the boy is recommended. Now a days, the boy is expected to be just 2-3 years elder than the girl.
So, even after the wife attains menopause, the husband has to spend a few years with the desires.
Additionally, the girls attain mental maturity even in their young age whereas the boys attain mental maturity a few years later than the girls.
All the above are based on the material considerations.
However, in the Spiritual consideration, if the husband and wife marry mainly for serving the Lord and not for sense gratification, the age may not be an issue.
Though the wife is one or two years elder than the husband the age may not be an issue as they may not give much importance for s..x life and they usually lead regulated s…x life.
So, now decide why you are going to marry? Will your husband be truly interested in the regulated s..x life and follow devotion sincerely?
If the purpose of marriage is to serve the Lord following Vaishnava etiquettes, the wife being one or two years elder than the husband may not be an issue.
But, let it not become a common practice. Let it be used in unavoidable cases and for performing devotional service together without giving importance for sense gratification.
Hope you are clear about a Girl marrying a younger boy & a boy marrying elder girl.
(If inter caste marriage gives hell to parents, why many devotees do that? READ HERE!)