The Parents of Grooms reject me for wearing Kanthi mala. What to do?

The Parents of Grooms reject me for wearing Kanthi mala. What to do?

A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:

I wear Tulsi Mala since 2 years and I am following all the rules. I am facing issues as now my parents are looking for a suitable match for me. The parents of mostly all the boys want me to remove my tulsi Mala as they don’t want their son to have any restrictions in interactions (word changed) and issues later in life. Till now it has happened multiple times what should I do prabhuji?

REPLY:

If you like to go from Chennai to Delhi, you should catch G.T Express train. If you catch Howrah Express, you can go to Howrah only, Not Delhi.

Why this example?

To succeed in our efforts, we should first have a right target and the right process to reach that target.

Your target is Krishna. That is why you have worn Kanthi mala.

Then, you should look for the devotee boys only.

But, you are allowing the materialistic boys, ie, non devotee boys to consider you for marriage.

(KANTHI MALA (TULASI MALA) – PROCEDURE & RULES TO WEAR THEM! READ HERE!)

They may be more interested in mating without regulations.

That is why, they expect you to remove the Kanthi mala.

If you look only for the devotee boys, they can understand the purpose of wearing the Kanthi mala.

So, the problem is with you only, not with the boys.

The farmers welcome the rain. But, the fishermen do not welcome the rain because they can’t go for fishing.

The devotees feel delighted to see another devotee wearing kanthi mala, Tilak, etc.

The grooms you mentioned must be materialistic non devotee boys. That is why, they fear whether their pleasures may have to be restricted.

So, keep your target and efforts clear.
If your aim is to shine in devotion to Krishna, look only for devotee boys of the same devotional level like you.

Or, if you are okay to sacrifice the devotional way of life with day to day advancement, remove that kanthi mala and marry any good boy of your choice.

And, there is no restriction for the mating with the spouse while wearing kanthi mala.

Only violations are not accepted while wearing kanthi mala.

You can explain this to the next groom and his family who come to see you. Politely explain them that there are no restrictions for a husband and wife and it is a kavacha to protect us from offensive acts that makes it necessary.

If they are understandable persons, they will rightly understand it and allow you to wear kanthi mala.

(What to do if Kanthi mala or Japa mala are damaged? READ HERE!)

In case they do not accept your explanation, you should think whether you should go to that house that has the people who do not have even the basic understanding of your explanation.

Just keep praying to Krishna. Give your details and expectations thru a senior mataji to the manager of the ISKCON temple with which you are associated. He will definitely do something to arrange a good boy for you.

You should clearly explain whether you need a working boy or full time devotee boy or caste restrictions if any, etc.

If it seems difficult or takes long time, keep explaining the families of grooms that there are no restrictions between a husband and wife. One may accept it when your time is favourable.

Don’t worry. Keep trying as advised me above.

We too will pray for your genuine wish.

(Will dying wearing Gopi Chandan and Kanthi mala takes one to Vaikunta? READ HERE!)

Author: RAJAN

RAJAN from Tamil Nadu, India, a Life Patron and an Initiated Devotee being in ISKCON for nearly three decades, serves anonymously to avoid Prominence and crowd as an insignificant, Humble and Neutral Servant for all the devotees of Krishna! He promotes Social media forums and this blog-website as e-satsangha (e-forums) blessed with Lakhs of followers, to give Spiritual Solutions for all the Material Problems of the devotees since 2011! He writes friendly and practical tips to practice devotion (i) without hurting the followers of other paths, (ii) without affecting the personal and career life, and (iii) without the blind, superstitious and ritualistic approach! He dedicates all the glories and credits to his Guru and Krishna.