What if the Grooms reject the girls wearing Kanthi mala?
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
I wear Tulsi Mala since 2 years and I am following all the rules. I am facing issues as now my parents are looking for a suitable match for me. The parents of mostly all the boys want me to remove my tulsi Mala as they don’t want their son to have any restrictions in interactions (word changed) and issues later in life. Till now it has happened multiple times what should I do prabhuji?
REPLY:
If you like to go from Chennai to Delhi, you should catch G.T Express train. If you catch Howrah Express, you can go to Howrah only, Not Delhi.
Why this example?
To succeed in our efforts, we should first have a right goal and we should follow the right process to reach that target.
Your goal is to get Krishna. That is why you have worn Kanthi mala.
Then, you should look for the devotee boys only who can help you to achieve Krishna.
But, you are allowing the materialistic boys, ie, non devotee boys to consider you for marriage.
(KANTHI MALA (TULASI MALA) – PROCEDURE & RULES TO WEAR THEM! READ HERE!)
They may be more interested in mating without regulations.
That is why, they expect you to remove the Kanthi mala.
If you look only for the devotee boys, they can understand the purpose of wearing the Kanthi mala.
So, the problem is with you only, not with the boys.
The farmers welcome the rain. But, the fishermen do not welcome the rain because they can’t go for fishing.
The devotees feel delighted to see another devotee wearing Kanthi mala, Tilak, etc.
The grooms you mentioned must be materialistic non devotee boys. That is why, they fear whether they may have to restrict their pleasures.
So, keep your goal and efforts clear in right direction.
If your goal is to shine in the devotion to Krishna, look only for devotee boys of the same devotional standard like you.
Or, if you are okay to sacrifice the devotional way of life, remove that Kanthi mala and marry any good boy of your choice.
And, there is no restriction for the mating with the spouse while wearing Kanthi mala.
Only violations are not accepted while wearing Kanthi mala.
You can explain this to the next groom and his family who come to see you. Politely explain them that there are no restrictions for a husband and wife and it is a kavacha to protect us from offensive acts that makes it necessary.
If they are understandable persons, they will rightly understand it and allow you to wear kanthi mala.
(What to do if Kanthi mala or Japa mala are damaged? READ HERE!)
In case they do not accept your explanation, you should think whether you should go to that house that has the people who do not have even the basic understanding of your explanation.
Just keep praying to Krishna. Give your details and expectations thru a senior mataji to the manager of the ISKCON temple with which you are associated. He will definitely do something to arrange a good boy for you.
You should clearly explain whether you need a working boy or full time devotee boy or caste restrictions, if any, etc.
If it seems difficult or takes long time, keep explaining the families of grooms that there are no restrictions between a husband and wife. One may accept it when your time is favourable.
Remember, when the time comes for marriage, the karma network will push marriage on you in any manner. No one can prevent it. Similarly, if your marriage time has not come, all our efforts to get married will fail.
Our efforts and permissible time should coincide.
Don’t worry. Keep trying as advised me above.
Hope you are now clear what to do if the Grooms reject the girls wearing Kanthi mala.
(Will dying wearing Gopi Chandan and Kanthi mala takes one to Vaikunta? READ HERE!)