Finding Match for marriage Satisfying both Parents and Krishna! Tips!
A MALE DEVOTEE (NAME HIDDEN) ASKED LIKE THIS:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji, my name is ………………….. from Cuttack, Odisha. I have been practicing Krishna Consciousness since ……….., initially I was chanting 2 rounds, but now it reached to 16 rounds. I want to make further progress in devotional life, hence want to marry a devotee, my parents have no problem with it, but they want to get me married in our own caste, they are not allowing inter caste marriage. It is very difficult to find a devotee in our caste, I tried to convince them for those castes which are above than ours, but still they are not agreeing, in fact they gets angry and not hearing anything. I don’t understand what to do in this situation, I can’t marry to a non-devotee in my caste just to make them happy, because I know what is the importance of Krishna Consciousness in my life, I can’t waste this life prabhuji. Please guide me, Hare Krishna”
This is where the devotees should balance their family and their devotion.
Of course this is a difficult matter to decide by us.
You need to satisfy both your expectations as well as parents’ expectations in a single decision.
(Devotion or Job nature of groom – Which a devotee girl should consider? READ HERE!)
This happens in many families of the devotees.
Here, I do not wish to give an adamant advice. I like to guide you practically.
In any marriage, we need the satisfaction and blessings of the parents.
You are not an initiated devotee yet.
So, you are not bound by any COMPULSORY limits and rules right now except the principles.
If you decide to satisfy your parents’ wish, you should relax your plans.
Before doing that, first try your best to convince your parents through any of your influential relative(s). Explain your genuine stand to them and request them to convince your parents. If any relative who has more influence or respect to your parents advise your parents, they may agree.
(Is Horoscope matching necessary though a boy and girl love each other? READ HERE!)
If this is not possible or if your parents do not agree even after the advice of influential persons, you may decide to satisfy their wishes.
But, you can make this little favourable to you.
See, Were you a devotee before getting in touch with the ISKCON movement? You too were a devatha worshiper or materialistic person.
Even now, you might not have deserted your attachments and you may be just a sathaka practicing devotion.
So, you are now in a growing stage in devotion though you are chanting 16 rounds now
Not in a grown up stage.
And, not yet initiated.
(If our spouse is already decided by karma, why should we see horoscopes for marriage? READ HERE!)
You became a good devotee from the stage of materialistic person.
Similarly, select a girl from your caste who is sincerely worshiping other gods or who is interested in following devotion packed life after marriage.
She need not be an ISKCON devotee.
See, ISKCON is an organization that has devotees here and there in some cities only all over the world.
There are many pockets of countries where ISKCON has not started its centers.
And, there are just some lakhs of people are sincerely associated with the ISKCON whereas this world contains 800 billion people.
(22 Tips to avoid differences if your husband is not interested in devotion! READ HERE!)
So, it may not be possible for all the ISCKON devotees to get matching groom or bride from within ISKCON itself in the same devotional level.
In ISKCON, women are more than men as in other fields (!!!).
So, your parents will more appreciate you if you marry a girl within your caste but with keen interest in devotion.
Discuss this with the girl before fixing her.
Then, marry her and take her to the ISKCON temple every week with you.
See, within six months, she too will become a better devotee than you because the girls are fast in taking up devotion as they have more emotional quotient (EQ).
(HOW TO DEAL IF THE “DEVOTEE HUSBAND OR WIFE” IS INTERESTED IN SENSE GRATIFICATION? READ HERE!)
In this process, there are double benefits:
(i) You give a new devotee to the movement and Krishna.
(ii) You have satisfied your parents.
Warning: Never marry a girl who has least or no interest in the devotional way of life to any god. It may be difficult to change her as a devotee of Krishna as per the standards recommended by Srila Prabhupada.
Hope you are now clear about satisfying both Parents and Krishna in choosing match for marriage.
(IMPACT OF MARRIAGE & CHILD BIRTH IN LIFE BASED ON KARMA! READ HERE!)