GUIDE FOR DEVOTEES: WHO SHOULD AVOID MARRIAGE? WHY OTHERS SHOULD MARRY?
(A) WHO SHOULD AVOID MARRIAGE?
The following persons should not enter into marriage without telling the fact to the spouse before marriage:
(1) Primarily, THOSE WHO NEVER GET INTEREST IN MARRIAGE EVEN AFTER CONSIDERING ALL THE FACTORS FROM KNOWLEDGEABLE SOURCES (As discussed in the other postes of this site), AND LIKE TO INVOLVE IN DEVOTION AS A FULL TIME DEVOTEE and SERVE HIS GURU. Before taking this decision, they should consider marrying a devotee girl/ boy. If all considerations do not change your firm decision to avoid marriage, you can remain unmarried and serve their guru or God.
(2) Those who have major-long term-risky diseases.
(3) Those who has no job and no earning to lead life.
(4) Those who are not at all interested in taking risk of facing challenges and facing people.
(5) Those who SERIOUSLY hate marriages without any reasons should not marry till they get rid of their hatred.
(6) Those who have illicit relations with many people and feel that they can’t stop it even after marriage should not marry and spoil the life of a good boy or good girl.
(7) Those who are addicted to drinking should not marry THAT IS A HELP TO THAT GIRL.
(8) Those who have different sexual orientations should not spoil the life of a boy or girl by marrying opposite sex.
(9) Those who hate sex should never marry unless the spouse too hate sex. If you hate, but, your spouse needs it, there are problems and chances of divorce.
(10) Those who already have a husband or wife should not marry again without the consent of the first wife/ husband and without sufficient properties to be allotted for both the wives.
(11) Those who always doubt others should not marry unless you develop faith on others. Because, if they marry, they will always be doubting their wives/ husbands even when they are not doing any wrong, that will spoil the marital life.
(12) Those who are sexually impotent should not marry without informing this to the bride/ groom. They can marry those who have no potency or who never attained puberty.
(13) Those whose horoscope says that marriage is NEVER POSSIBLE for him/ her because of very serious doshas and hence all his / her attempts to get married fail. But, they should maintain discipline in life.
(14) Those who have a habitual torturing parents should think hundred times to marry. If you marry, lead a separate life near the house of parents.
These are the only possible reasons for which you should avoid marriage.
If you do not fall under any other categories, just go ahead with marriage.
(B) WHY MARRIAGE IS NECESSARY FOR OTHERS?
(1) You and your wife can perform practices and services together for Lord. She can help you by cooking food, cleaning the utensils, arranging the things for worship. You can offer food to Krishna and perform rituals for Lord along with your wife.
(2) Both of you can chant together that will give you a company for you to encourage.
(3) Both of you can go to temples together that gives extra energy for you.
(4) You can arrange House Preaching Programs in your house if you have a wife to arrange help you and take care of the devotees.
(5) Both of you can help your nearest temple together with physical works.
(6) You can give a new devotee to the Lord through your son or daughter.
(7) There will be a son or daughter to perform last rites for us after we leave this world and we may have a dignified send off from this world. If the husband or wife dies first, his/ her spouse can continue his/ her life with son/ daughter.
(8) Your bodily agitations will be under control since you have spouse and hence you can concentrate in the devotional practices better.
Thus , there are many advantages in serving the Lord as a grahastha.
If you wish to serve a guru directly being a full time BRAHMACHARI devotee, it is a genuine and the best desire one should have in his life. I appreciate that. I fully support serving the guru directly if one gets the opportunity to do so.
However, the points given above is not intended to discourage or encourage the devotees from becoming full time brahmachari devotees. I will never do that. Considering the realities, pressures and the practical aspects existing in this kaliyuga, I have presented some extra points to be considered before taking any decision in this regard. One should take decisions evaluating his family background, dependants, responsibilities, etc.
If you desert marriage, will you be ready to take care of old parents in their old age or terminal age even by cleaning their bodies? In case you have any younger sister (s) to give in marriage, won’t they need your support as a man to arrange their marriage? Are there any other brothers to take care of the welfare of parents or sisters/ brothers?
If even after considering all these points, your mind is fixed only in the full time service to Lord (and/ or) to avoid marriage, you can definitely do so. That will indicate your determination in that matter. A single advice will not match everyone’s situation. That is why, I have given all the points to be considered before taking any decision. If you take decisions without considering all these factors, you may struggle in future. Hence these points to consider.
Let Krishna bless all.