Marriage between initiated & uninitiated devotees – Tips to consider!

Marriage between initiated & uninitiated devotees – Tips to consider!

A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:

“Hare Krishna Prabhuji. You are my guiding lamp in k.c for the past 7 years. I am initiated from H.H…………Maharaj. A girl in my temple express her willingness to marry me. She is not initiated, but sincere. In your posts, you have written more about marriage with the person of equal status. What shall I do now? Please guide me prabhuji. Hare Krishna”

REPLY:

It is generally recommended that the persons of equal devotional status should marry.

Srila Prabhupada has said so in many places. Examples:

(1) Srimad-Bhagavatam 3.21.15:

‘Formerly, boys and girls of similar dispositions were married; the similar natures of the boy and girl were united in order to make them happy’.

(How to Take if Marriage Efforts Fail for Devotees? Tips! READ HERE!)

(2) Srimad-Bhagavatam 9.18.23:

‘The central idea is that if the boy and girl were on an equal level the marriage would be happy, whereas inequality would lead to unhappiness’.

(3) Srimad-Bhagavatam 10.60.15:

‘Marriage and friendship are proper between two people who are equal in terms of their wealth, birth, influence, physical appearance and capacity for good progeny, but never between a superior and an inferior’.

How can we find out one’s status?

Companies trust that a candidate may have the skills recommended for a job if he possess a particular academic and/or experience certificates given by the concerned authorities.

To ascertain the fitness, interviews and skill test are conducted.

Same thing happens in the devotional status also.

A guru access a devotee’s fitness based on the recommendation of the local temple authorities. Guru then conducts tests and interviews through the system followed by him.

He then gives initiation to the devotee.

So, we consider that devotee as if he is following the diksha rules and has surrendered to his guru.

(Is marriage and getting more children advised or not? READ HERE!)

So, the formal system of initiation helps to identify the status of a devotee.

Of course some devotees violate, but, this system is unavoidable and must.

On the basis of these formal initiations, an initiated devotee can identify another initiated devotee to be identical in the priorities of life.

So, it is recommended for an initiated devotee to marry another initiated devotee. Marriage between initiated and uninitiated devotees have certain conditions to be followed.

Exceptions are always there in any following. We can’t fully avoid them.

See, initiated or uninitiated – one should have the bhava recommended for the initiated devotees.

You know well that a brahmana status is based on the qualities of a person. If a person has sufficient brahmana qualities, he can be classified as a Brahmana.

If one takes birth as a brahmana, but is making serious violations from the brahminical codes of conduct and practices, he can’t be given brahmana status.

Same should be applied for Vaishnavas also.

(Finding Match for marriage Satisfying both Parents and Krishna! Tips! READ HERE!)

Initiation or diksha should be taken only when a devotee is ready to follow the diksha rules of discipline and sadhanas.

If a devotee fanatically takes initiation, but, is not following the discipline and sadhanas, his initiation is just formal. Not effective.

If a devotee is not yet initiated, but follows all the disciplinary rules and sadhanas meant for initiated devotees and also have faith in the guru disciple system, he can be considered similar to an initiated devotee. See the term “Similar”, not “equal” as he is not yet connected to Guru parampara.

To lead a grahastha life, one should be serious in devotional practices, services and also follow the etiquettes recommended for the grahasthas.

Now, let us come to your case.

If that girl devotee is seriously following the rules recommended for the initiated devotees and is ready to follow the grahastha etiquettes, you can marry her.

(If inter caste marriage gives hell to parents, why many devotees do that? READ HERE!)

Also insist her to take initiation from a bonafide guru as early as possible.

After marriage, perform the services to the Lord together.
Though she follows the rules meant for the initiated devotees, it is advisable to take initiation as it is a formal commitment and we get connected to the guru parampara.

An important aspect should be mentioned here. After marriage, the initiated devotees are expected to follow a certain codes. If she is uninitiated, her priorities may clash with your priorities.

Therefore, make it clear the following points before giving consent for marriage to her:

(i) She should cooperate with your following grahastha etiquettes.

(ii) She should accept formal initiation soon.

(iii) She should not have materialistic attitude.

If these points are fulfilled, marry her.

If she refuses or doubtful of any one of the above, avoid marrying her.

Hope you are clear about the marriage between an initiated and uninitiated devotees.

(Will selecting a devotee for marriage seeing appearance work correctly? READ HERE!)

Author: RAJAN

RAJAN from Tamil Nadu, India, a Life Patron and an Initiated Devotee being in ISKCON for nearly three decades, serves anonymously to avoid Prominence and crowd as an insignificant, Humble and Neutral Servant for all the devotees of Krishna! He promotes Social media forums and this blog-website as e-satsangha (e-forums) blessed with Lakhs of followers, to give Spiritual Solutions for all the Material Problems of the devotees since 2011! He writes friendly and practical tips to practice devotion (i) without hurting the followers of other paths, (ii) without affecting the personal and career life, and (iii) without the blind, superstitious and ritualistic approach! He dedicates all the glories and credits to his Guru and Krishna.