Is expecting a devotee spouse considered as expectation?
A Girl devotee asked like this (Name hidden):
“hare krishna pravuji..without assosiation of devotee my devotion is going decreased day by day what to do???i am just hoping that one krishna give me a devotee husband i will be devotee by his assosiation.. is this expectation right or wrong??? what to do to get a devotee husband???? is it right in this yuga depend on husband for devotion????? i want to serve my husband as my shikhsha guru but how to get that type of husband????”
Here, there are two cases:
(1) DESIRE FOR SPIRITUAL CAUSES
If you marry a devotee boy to serve Krishna better as a wife of a devotee, such expectation is welcome and it is not a material wish, but spiritual because you like to serve Krishna better along with your husband.
Any desire that is aimed to serve Krishna is allowed.
For example, I have a desire of setting up a center for practicing Krishna Consciousness. This is a genuine and spiritual desire and is allowed.
Because, such desires will help many devotees to come up in devotion.
You may like to live in Vrindavan or Mayapur for ever. Such desires are also not wrong and are allowed. But, you should understand the reality that one should not escape from his duties to settle in holy places. He has to perform his duties properly and then settle in such holy places after they finish all their duties for family. And, a girl / woman should live under the protection of father or husband as said by the scriptures and also the acharyas like Srila Prabhupada.
Or, he can take entire family to Vrindavan if he can manage without a job. He has to decide that does not make anyone suffer in his family.
He should not take decisions in haste. He should evaluate all the pros and cons and then decide.
You may like to help the vaishnavas. Such desires are encouraged because instead of stopping with just getting their blessings and services, one should help the vaishnavas and brahmanas to lead their service and life so that they can continue to do their service without difficulties. The devotees and brahmanas depend on the grahasthas only for their survival as recommended by the scriptures. Therefore, you should try your best to support them as much as possible without hurting yourself first. In older days, In India, a grahastha will not start eating in a day unless they donate food or needs to atleast a single person. So, helping the genuine needy people, including the bakthas is the first duty of every grahastha as per the scriptures.
Thus, your desire of marrying a devotee boy is also allowed if your motive is to serve the lord together with spouse and if you will not show too much of interest in materialistic way of life.
(2) DESIRE FOR MATERIAL CAUSES:
If you like to marry a devotee boy to make him gradually interested in physical sense gratification and then lead a life of enjoyments, this is condemned.
A devotee should be married ONLY TO make him a better devotee by helping him.
Our scriptures do not recommend difficult devotional practices for women and the women may just support their husbands in their devotional practices and they (wives) too can get all the mercy received by their husbands. So, a wife is expected to encourage and support her husband to come up in devotional way of life.
In case she pulls him from devotion and involve in sense gratification more, it is an offense against the Lord.
Even if a wife forces a husband who is not interested in luxurious life to buy luxurious things, it is also an offense against the Lord because she corrupts the mind of her husband from a simple way of devotional way of life.
In case the husband involves in prohibited acts thiugh he has a chaste and helping wife, the reactions of his sinful acts will not affect the wife. She is insulated from his bad activities. But, his devotional practices take the wife also to the Lord along with him.
This is the total security/ protection given by the scriptures to the women. So, a woman should help her husband if he is a devotee. In case he leads a sinful life, she remains insulated from his sins.
Now, the conclusion is, your desire is allowed and encouraged if your aim is to serve the Lord in all the situations. Just take steps to get a boy like that by talking to the temple manager or president of your nearby temple and request him to recommend a devotee boy. Take your parents with you while talking to him. It is the proper way.
All the best.