Is getting a good spouse possible in this kaliyuga? Tips!
A girl devotee asked like this ( I have hidden her name):
Sir, Thank you for the valuable service. please reply urgent and do not mention my name. my main problem is marriage. i am living with my mother alone. my father expired 5 years back. i used to do job before but quit it to take care of my bedridden father and mother who has some health problems. I have an elder sister and she is married but her in laws are not good people. They always try to lower us and insult us in every way. My sister also supports them only.
I always wanted a husband who loves and takes care of me. but after seeing my sister’s in laws and also few people who we know i m scared of marriage. people only think of money in marriage. love and understanding is not there. Acc to my opinion money status etc is secondary, character and attitude of people is important. now i want a husband who also takes care of my mom along with me. i know it is highly impossible but still believe god will help me. but my mom wants me get married soon. does chanting hare krishna mantra alone helps?
after starting following your page i stopped eating nonveg. But I can’t leave material attachments immediately but i don’t have any big big desires. i had lonely childhood, so from that time i always wanted a good husband who loves and takes care of me. It is every girls right to get a good husband to lead a peaceful life but may be due to karma, girls are facing serious issues after marriage. In this kaliyuga, is it wrong to expect a good husband? please suggest.
REPLY:
Yes… After marriage, in some families, there will be some issues.
The girl comes from another family. So, she will take some months to fit herself with that new family and cope with the people there.
And, the marriage means THE UNION OF TWO DIFFERENT & UNIQUE PERSONS. So, We can not expect the same atmosphere that exists in our family.
So, a girl has to face different natured people after marriage.
This may be difficult for some girls. Because they expect the same type of love that they got from their parents. It is not possible in all cases. Though many father in laws or mother in laws show love to their daughter in laws, it can not equal the love given by her mother and/ or father. So, every girl should face a different type of people after marriage.
(Staying in temple as a full time brahmachari! Crystal Clear advice! READ HERE!)
However, after marriage, the mother of the boy feels that she can not influence her son hereafter because his wife will have more influence. So, she expresses her helplessness or jealousy openly at times in some families.
In this situation, the girl (daughter in law) should keep silence. If she responds to the words of her mother in law, the problem starts.
The son will be struggling between his wife and mother in many families.
So, the girl should not respond to the criticisms of her in laws. This can prevent many problems from becoming serious.
So, you need not fear to marry. All boys are not bad and all in-laws are not jealous. There are so many mother in laws who treat their daughter in laws like their own daughter. Some problems arise in SOME families ONLY BECAUSE of unnecessary usage of words by both the parties. If either daughter in law or mother in law shuts her mouth, the problem will die in the bud itself.
If a girl decides, she can silence even a serious criticiser. How? By being silent. When the husband is unable to decide to which side he has to speak, he gets angered and he also starts to abuse his wife.
This looks like he is supporting his mother. So, his wife stops talking to him and go and close the doors of bed room.
This makes the husband to surrender to his wife. So, his mother feels that her son is surrendered to his wife. So, she too uses some unwanted words. Problems again start.
This shows that all problems start through unwanted words only.
(Can a Girl live only for Krishna by remaining untouched by a male? READ HERE!)
So, if you can keep control of your tongue,. you can lead a better life after marriage. So, do not hesitate to marry fearing for problems. Just face the situation as your karma.
Just marry and face your karma and thus clear the pending karma. If you are destined to marry and you too desire to marry but you fear for future problems and hence remain unmarried now, you will have to take another birth and marry in that birth to clear that karma.
So, marry and clear your pending karma in this birth itself.
And, no husband will always be speaking sweet words to his wife. He may have some issues in office. He may have some disappointments. So, he may have to show his anger to the wife some times. This is not wrong. where can he show his tension except his wife? So, a wife should take all the words of her husband positively.
So, do not expect 100% happiness in life. Life is a blend of both happiness and miseries. Though you quit the marriage and remain as a brahmacharini, there are so many problems in being a brahmacharini in this kaliyuga. problems are there in all the four ashramas.
So, if you have any hatred for marriage, don’t marry without clearing that hatred. If there is a valid reason for not willing to marry, it can be avoided. If there are any serious health issues, marriage can be avoided. Or, you should have tried your best, but still you don’t get married, you can avoid marriage. There must be valid reason.
However, if you have interest in marriage, but you hesitate just because of the fear of whether you can get a good spouse, marry without fear after making thorough evaluation of the groom.
Hope for good. But be prepared to face the life as it is.
(Is devotee girls skipping marriage fearing for sexual harassment right? READ HERE!)