Should a devotee couple stop Physical relations after getting child?
A woman devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji, Dandvat Pranam. My question is related to initiation, I searched all the related posts but could not find a reply hence I am asking it here. Prabhuji, me and my husband are preparing ourselves for initiation. We strictly follow all regulative principles and chant 16 rounds. I wanted to ask if physical relations with the husband are completely prohibited after taking initiation? Is there any such strict rule that after taking diksha you can have physical relation with the husband only for child bearing, otherwise not? We have 2 kids and we won’t plan for a third child so wanted to know if we should completely leave the physical relations? Please guide prabhuji as our decision on how to proceed with initiation will be based on your reply.
REPLY:
I understand your problem.
After initiation, Physical relations are expected to be used only to get children.
It is recommended for once a month on a suitable day.
(Is Sense Gratification without getting children possible for devotees? READ HERE!)
You worry, after getting one or two children, for what reason they can have Physical relations? Should they stop totally? Should a devotee couple stop Physical relations after getting child?
Right?
The advice is to restrict it for once a month on a suitable day.
In general, when a couple has Garbadhan sanskar only once a month, getting conceived may take a few months or years.
(Garbhadhaan Sanskar to get only a devotee child – Tips from the acharyas! READ HERE!)
In many months, the conception may be missed because conception may have more success rate only in the middle fifteen days between two periods.
So, all days may not fall within those 15 days.
If you do not need conception, still you can follow that Once a month advice.
Select a day away from the middle 15 days.
Then, chances of conception may be very less.
In case it accidentally happens, get the child.
What else you can do?
See, the purpose of such advice (like once a month), is just to reduce our attachment in sense gratification and to have a planned mating to get a devotee child.
However, even when the senses disturb more for either wife or husband, such things are permitted between the husband and wife because if not allowed, it may lead to some other consequences.
If that happens only between husband and wife, it is to be forgiven.
(Grahastha Rule of ONLY ONCE A MONTH relations and Childlessness! – A Case Study! READ HERE!)
Because, when we seriously engage in devotional practices and services, our mind will naturally get controlled.
So, a husband and wife can lead a controlled life.
However, they can show their love and respect each other.
Their purpose of the marriage of an initiated devotee should be done TO SERVE AND SATISFY KRISHNA TOGETHER AS HUSBAND & WIFE.
That is why, such regulations are advised.
So, in exceptional situations, if you violate that standard with husband, you may not be punished.
Just get the child you get if you get conceived and bring him/her up as a devotee child.
So, the point is that if you had more Physical relations than the advised standard, get that child and make that child as a devotee.
The advice is not to stop mating after getting a child. For the six months after getting a child, mating is not allowed as per the standard. After six months, you can have mating as advised in our post on Garbhadhan Samskar, but it is advised to get the child if it is conceived.
If you have mating, get the child if blessed. Don’t abort it.
This is the only Honest Solution possible for your genuine query.
(Avoiding & Repenting for violations with women after initiation (diksha)! READ HERE!)