How to make a non devotee husband and ‘would be’ as devotee? Powerful Tricks!
Qn. In detail from an MBBS Student:
“Hare krishna prabhuji…… I am a medical student and also love kanhaiya very much…i’ve a laddoo gopal and try to spend as much time possible thinking about gopal and chanting…
i am in relationship with one of my seniors here in my college…but he is not a devotee of krishna..though i always wanted to marry a boy who is a devotee of krishna and also of the same qualification…he is going to be a doctor but not a devotee also i don’t think i can make him…whenever i discuss krishna katha with him he does not pay much attention.
he does not discourage me in my devotional practice but he himself doesnot take part in it… i suggest him to spend time with krishna but can’t make him understand…last week our result was out…he is not a bad student but then also he failed in all the subjects of 3rd yr and i passed all the subjects in 2nd yr with good marks…perhaps he has started suffering from some inferiority complex as he guided me in my studies and gave me all of his books and helped me in my studies whenever i needed!
so now there is some distance between us…he has started losing faith as he studied hard before exams…. i told him that there is only one solution for all your sufferings-“love krishna and he will protect you everytime”…but don’t know how to make him understand this simple thing….he has started feeling depressed all the time for that poor result…sometimes he buys dresses and jewelleries for my laddoo but that is only when he tells me that “please talk to your gopal and request him to make me pass!”
i’ve told him that my gopal doesn’t want gifts from you…you should only love him and you will get everything …your life will be changed completely…”but couldn’t make him realise that! sometimes he says that “in our home maa shakti (maa kali) gets worshipped so i can’t do bhakti of krishna” …
probably we are going to marry after passing M.B.B.S but i want to spend my life peacefully in krishna consciousness only…so i don’t know how is my married life going to be! how can i transfer him and make him understand that there is no other way to ged rid of all the problems except krishna!!! please help prabhuji… i am very much confused that whether i’ll be able to lead a fully krishna conscious life with him or not!!!”
There should be no space for emotions if we need to lead a peaceful life. Only the emotional approaches create many problems in life.
In your case, you are a devotee of Krishna and He is not interested in serious devotion. He seems to be a casual person.
(Will Krishna reform abusing husbands if the wife likes to avoid divorce? READ HERE!)
The only consoling aspect in your relations is that he says that he will not interfere in your devotion to Krishna and he is not an atheist. Therefore, I think he can be reformed.
Since you like to practice devotion seriously, there are certain questions to be put in front of him and get his assurances/ promises, before you marry him:
(1) You will not take onion, garlic, non veg, etc. Will he too skip them and cooperate with you as the token of love?
(2) You will take foods only after bathing and offering to Lord, whereas he may demand food even before bathing. Will he cooperate in this matter and wait till you properly arrange prasadam as the token of love?
(3) If you go further in devotion and like to take initiation (Diksha) from a guru. In such cases, you will have certain restrictions in having mating on auspicious days and the number of mating every month. Will he cooperate with you in this strict rules as the token of love?
(Should a wife serve a non devotee husband also? READ HERE!)
(4) You will not take foods from non devotee houses. Will he understand and bear it if you skip food in his relatives’ houses as the token of love?
(5) While loving, all you do will seem to be o.k to him. Will he be the same person even after 2-3 years of marriage?
These five questions are very important and you should ask these questions to him clearly and get his promise to cooperate with you.
From your message, I have understood that you have almost decided to marry him. Therefore, you should ask this question yourself:
“Will you be ready to skip certain devotional practices if he does not cooperate in your practices some times in certain situations? Will this not create misunderstanding between both of you?”
I have already written in my articles that the boy or girl will not have the same feeling about his/her partner before and after marriage. During the initial days after marriage, the attraction factor may support to much extent in keeping the relations intact. After 2-3 years, when the life becomes normal after all the glamour and attractions come down, we can not expect the partner with the same spirit towards us.
(What to do if the devotee husband or wife is attached to family members? READ HERE!)
I have also written in some other articles that if the devotee girl does not get a Krishna devotee, she may marry atleast a devotee of other gods, but, he should not be an atheist. We can expect the husband who is the devotee of Shiva to help his wife in the devotion of Krishna, but, it is difficult to expect an atheist to cooperate in her devotion.
This is like a lion and a goat living in the same chamber together.
Your boy does not seem to be seriously interested in devotion. Since he is not against faith in gods, but has no interest in following devotional practices to Krishna, you can make him a full devotee of Krishna in due course of time if you take sincere efforts. He seem to be casual, but, he has no objection if you follow.
Therefore, I advise you to ensure that he will try to show some interest in following devotional practices atleast in future. He can be convinced to become a devotee using your closeness after marriage. If he agrees to help you in devotion atleast to some extent and atleast to make you happy, get his promise and marry him.
If he says that he will never involve in serious devotion, now question yourself whether you can adjust for him by following your way of devotion in his absence, ie, during day time after he goes to his duty.
However, I have a hope that he can agree to you because he has said that you can follow devotion in your own way. If he promises to cooperate by following his words, put your faith in Krishna and marry him.
(Can a girl divorce the drinker – torturing husband after aborting the baby? READ HERE!)
The matter does not end here.
Now, we should know, How to make the husband a devotee of Krishna?
After marriage, do not force him artificially to come to the devotion to Krishna. You first love him and take care of his needs as a good wife. Make his heart wet with your love.
After winning his love and care towards you, follow devotion to Krishna in front of him so that he can see how sincerely you follow devotion and also take care of him. Do not take initiation for 3-4 years after marriage and till he starts to understand your devotional practices .
Using the pulling power of your love during the first two years after marriage, call him WITH LOVE to the nearby temple and take him every week there. The spiritual sound vibrations and the vibrations from the devotees there and the effect of temple Prasadam will definitely make him a devotee of Krishna in due course of time.
The only condition is that you should not impart interest in devotion in his mind in a preaching manner. Instead, you should use your closeness with him and discuss with him with love even in bed about Krishna and the bliss involved in following His devotion.
(Devotee husband is torturing me having immoral friendships. What to do? READ HERE!)
How to make the husband a devotee of Krishna? A Bold and Powerful Trick recommended by me!
Sorry if I am speaking too much, but, being a counsellor who likes to convey every minute detail to the devotees, I tell this: A trick can be followed by the wives to make their husbands as devotees: If he demands close physical relation on any day, a wife may DEMAND with love his promise that he will come to the temple with her or he will chant Krishna’s names atleast one round every day to please her and Krishna. He will definitely agree to her because he will understand that he can get ANYTHING from her if he performs atleast some devotional practices.
This closeness, if used for Krishna with a love packed demand, will make the husband a devotee in due course of time.
Then, after a few years, both the wife and husband may get initiation if they need that.
A happy and blissful married life.
All the best.
(22 Tips to avoid differences if your husband is not interested in devotion! READ HERE!)