Is marrying, but not getting children allowed for the devotees?
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna prabhuji. Dandavat Pramams. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. I have a confusion. I’m not interested in marriage, especially sex life which is shackles for everyone nor interested in begetting child. So I’m would like to marry a devotee who is not interested in same above mentioned. But on other hand,i think if spouse who comes expects either sensual pleasure or child from me, then life becomes miserable for both of us. So it is better to be unmarried. But I’m shaken to take such a decision to be alone or unmarried . I need Krishna in this life ,i need to go back to him in this life. So i thought being unmarried helps me to progress in spiritual life rather than being married. As a girl,there is also rule that girl should not be remain unmarried.Thank you.”
REPLY:
This has to be seen as two possibilities:
Case One – Marrying – Not having Sense Gratification (s…x) and also not having children.
Case Two – Marrying – Having Sense Gratification (s…x) and not having children by using Contraceptives.
(Is marriage and getting more children advised or not? READ HERE!)
CASE – 1:
If both the boy and Girl truly and honestly agree for a marriage ONLY FOR SERVING THE LORD TOGETHER WITHOUT HAVING ANY FORM OF S….X, it can be permitted.
Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa lived such a life of celebacy with his consort.
Pure devotional life by the Grahasthas without Sense Gratification is allowed.
But, having s…x for begetting children and raising those children as devotees is the better way to lead the grahastha life.
You seem to fear for increasing the responsibilities and burdens in life.
Getting children is not negative.
(Should a devotee couple stop sense gratification after getting child? READ HERE!)
Having s…x for getting children is also permitted for the devotees.
Krishna says that He is the Kama that is followed as per the recommendations of the scriptures.
So, you need not hate s…x life. If you get a boy who is interested to strictly follow the grahastha rules, you can marry.
Getting a boy who is ready to avoid s…x and also avoid getting children may be a difficult task.
The girls and boys struggle to get even the normal boys and girls to marry.
In this trend, getting a boy as expected by you may be difficult. One in hundred may be ready to marry with such conditions.
(Why the Scriptures permit getting more children? Is it good or bad? READ HERE!)
CASE – 2:
Next, getting a boy who can have s….x but without getting children may be slightly easier than the boy in case – 1.
But, such a life is not permitted for serious devotees.
Because, having s…x but not getting children means you should use contraceptives.
Using contraceptives is against the regulative principle for serious devotees.
It is pure sense gratification to satisfy the senses.
No purpose of getting children to make them devotees.
So, Second case is not good.
If you get a boy who has no interest in sense gratification and getting children, marry him. You should strictly avoid sense gratification.
But, also think well why can’t you get children and make them devotees!
This will be the better decision.
Hope you are clear whether marrying, but not getting children is allowed for the devotees!
(Is Sense Gratification without getting children possible for devotees? READ HERE!)