Making the materialistic wife a devotee of Krishna! 10 Practical Tips!
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna to all , I am a sincere devotee of lord Krishna , I regularly do my chanting and I read Bhagavad Gita at home and I often visit ISKCON temple in my area to stay In touch with devotees also but I am going through a very difficult phase of my life which I don’t know how to deal with, that’s why I want some help or guidance from this page so that I can deal with the issue I am facing in my life now . Like I said I am sincerely devoted to lord Krishna but my wife she is very materialistic women …she doesn’t like all what I follow, I mean she don’t say it in my face but I don’t know how should I convince her the Krishna is supreme and ultimate he is …. she is very much inclined to travel, eat outside foods , shopping always and I am very simple man. I don’t know how should I turn her into a devotee of lord so that she should be more inclined toward dharma then materialistic life style , and because of her this behave I am always irritated in day to day life because even at home we cook prasadam, if I tell her go offer only then she goes to offer, if I say go offer a ghee lamp only then she goes otherwise no and if I say -let’s go to temple- she always refuses with all kinds of excuses and if it’s about going to shopping malls then she is always ready. So please help me guide me that how could I change her this behaviour and bring her more close to Krishna. Thanks Hare Krishna. Haribol.
REPLY:
This is very disturbing situation for a devotee husband.
But, after marrying a materialistic girl, you are feeling now.
Its alright.
You need to make her a devotee at any cost – even if the situation compels you to bark like a dog to make her a devotee, you can do it. You can do anything to make her a devotee.
Making the materialistic wife a devotee needs some compromises from your side. You should throw your ego and change your performance.
In general, Women have a nature.
(How to make a non devotee husband and “would be” as devotees? READ HERE!)
If her husband does not praise her or appreciate her, she will never cooperate in his day to day activities.
But, if the husband praises her and obeys whatever she says, she will do whatever he says.
You have to keep this always in mind.
You can do anything to make your wife a devotee.
Srila Prabhupada lived with the drunk boys though there was unhygenic situation and bad smell in the room.
He danced alone in the park to introduce the Harinam to the visitors.
He Himself cooked and served the boys with whom he was staying.
Why he did everything?
To make them devotees.
(Why even Krishna’s devotees face tortures from spouse? READ HERE!)
Similarly, you too can try the following Tips from now for making the materialistic wife a devotee:
(i) Take part in her household duties. If she starts cooking, you help her by cutting the vegetables.
(ii) While eating, you serve the prasadam for her with caring words.
(iii) Most importantly, start praising her and her parents. If you praise her parents and family, she will do anything for you. Call her parents to your house and tell them to stay for a week. Give them good treatment and praise her in front of them. Also praise her parents in front of her.
(iv) Though the taste of the food cooked by her is not that much great, take more food telling that its taste is outstanding.
(v) Tell atleast once a day that she is very beautiful and charming like an angel (Sorry…the reality may be different. Its alright. Your goal is to make her follow devotion.)
(vi) Take her to a shop and gift her a beautiful saree.
(vii) If your budget permits, take her to a jewellery shop and gift her a Gold chain or ring.
(viii) While returning from office, buy and bring some flowers for her to wear.
(ix) If she says that she does not feel well, wash her clothes and take the cooking department in your control till she recovers. Ask her to take rest. If possible put the tablets in her mouth and pour water. Or, if required, apply pain balm for her.
(x) Ha ha. Keep her happy in physical relations also whenever she wants. Always treat her like a newly married wife.
(Should a wife serve a non devotee husband also? READ HERE!)
If required, tell her, if she comes to the temple and offer food at home and chant atleast four rounds a day, you will gift her a saree every three months and some gold every year.
Now tell her to chant and offer food to Krishna.
She will instantly do.
See, she is also a human being with some weaknesses. Touch those weaknesses and boost her love for you that will make her love Krishna.
Maintain these tricks for atleast 3-4 years. After that, devotion will become her habit. Then, she may continue to follow that life style.
So, the secret is, if you like to make a wife hear whatever you say, first make her happy and give an impression that you like and care her.
Her heart will melt and she will do whatever you wish her to do.
If you indicate her mistakes though she had really committed, she will follow sathyagraha. The cooperating wife will become an adamant person.
So, to make her a devotee and follow the devotional sadhanas and duties, cooperate with her.
I understand, these adjustments are difficult to follow. But, your major goal is to make her a devotee. Compared with the pains Srila Prabhupada took, these adjustments are very small.
Now call her to the temple. She will come. And she will cook tasty foods for Krishna.
In due course of time, the association she takes in the temple will make her a dedicated devotee of Krishna. All you have to do is to take her to the temple every week and during the festivals by following the above tips.
The whole material life is based on GIVE & TAKE POLICY.
You can get something only if you lose something.
Hope you have understood the tips for making the materialistic wife a devotee of Krishna!
(A Devotee wife and Non Devotee husband – How to manage? READ HERE!)