If Sex is only for getting child for devotees, why should he marry?
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare krishna prabhuji. My question is I have desire for sense gratification but recently I came in contact with devotees and came to know that s…x life is only meant for getting child. But I’m not able to digest this. I have started following some basics like chanting and hearing. I’m going to marry in some days. In my heart I really have desire to enjoy s…x life. Yes now I want to leave this desire slowly but not possible right now. So is there any provision to fulfill this desire with my own spouse without breaking the laws of dharma. And I don’t want to get children for at least 1 year. So there is any possibility to enjoy s…x life without getting child. If not possible then why should I marry? And if possible then why devotees preach this to new devotees? Please help.”
REPLY:
You have wrongly understood the advices given by the scriptures.
Such regulatory advices for Brahmanas and devotees are not new. They have been in practice even since the Vedic period.
Involving in s…x life only to beget the children is not a new advice. It is the actual advice for those who like to advance in devotional life.
One can’t ride on two horses at the same time.
(No Mating or Mating to get devotee children – Which is good for devotee couples? READ HERE!)
If one likes to advance in devotion, he has to reduce the sense gratification.
If one has no intention of coming up/ advance in devotion, but like to remain just a moderate worshiper of Krishna, no such restrictions are necessary.
The Scriptures like Bhagavad Gita, Bhagavatham, etc., are necessary only for those who like to make this life meaningful by advancing in devotion to Krishna.
Those who worship any god to get some benefits do not have any restrictions.
So, first decide what the purpose of your life is – Whether to be just a sakama devotee worshiping gods to get some benefits or to become a Nishkam devotee who do not pray to Krishna anything except getting His service.
If one likes to become a district collector or equal grade of administrative service, he MUST clear IAS exams.
If one likes to become a doctor, he MUST pass the minimum of MBBS.
If one likes to become the Prime minister of a country, he should win the elections by meeting lakhs of people tirelessly.
Thus, every status/ position requires efforts to get qualified.
Getting Krishna is also like that.
(Grahastha Rule of ONLY ONCE A MONTH relations and Childlessness! A Case Study! READ HERE!)
If you need to put abundant efforts to be a collector or doctor or a minister, just imagine how much efforts you should put to become a Permanent resident of Goloka, the world of Krishna.
Getting Krishna is the ultimate boon one can get in his life.
Becoming a collector or doctor or a minister is not even 1% comparable to becoming an eternal associate of Krishna.
So, if you say that ‘I will enjoy everything, I will do whatever I want but I should get Krishna also, it is not possible or it will be delayed because Krishna will take more time to make you understand the realities of material desires.
You ask me why you should marry if you can’t enjoy the s..x life not only for getting a child, but also to please your senses.
Always remember, such restrictions are given for aspiring serious devotees because SENSES CAN NEVER BE SATISFIED THOUGH YOU ENJOY 10000 TIMES IN YOUR LIFETIME.
More you involve in enjoyments, more will be the inducements that will make you to crave for more and more lust.
At the same time, when we die, we will die without the satisfaction even after enjoying 10000 times.
So, it is advised that Sex is only for getting child for devotees, not for enjoyments also.
At the same time, I have to tell you that it is also understandable that you can use s…x with spouse alone when your senses disturb more affecting your devotional performance.
But, you should honestly reduce the sense gratification atleast stage by stage to reach the recommended involvement only for progeny.
See, Using s..x only for Progeny is the HIGHEST STANDARD EXPECTED FROM A DEVOTEE ASPIRING FOR PERFECTION IN DEVOTION.
So, though you use some extra sense gratification initially or for few years after marriage, keep on aiming for that highest standard stage by stage.
Let that controlling efforts continue stage by stage and also prepare your spouse for that standard.
At the same time, keep on praying to Krishna to give His mercy to come to that standard.
Adjust the involvement in sense gratification according to the pressing needs of you and spouse. Use that only when you are unable to control yourself. Don’t take the excemptions as primary life style.
At the same time keep in mind that involving sincerely in the recommended sadhanas will give you sufficient sense control gradually.
Just involve in Krishna consciousness sincerely and honestly. All other things will follow naturally.
Hope you are clear whether Sex is only for getting child for devotees!
(Garbhadhaan Sanskar to get only a devotee child! Tips from the acharyas! READ HERE!)