What should be the act of a woman devotee after marriage failed twice?
A woman devotee (Name hidden) asked her:
“Hare Krishna prabhu, I am …………. and I am chanting 16 rounds of mala and following the 4 regulative principles. Now I have the serious issue in my life and nobody can help me. My situation is like I was married on 2011 it ended in 15 days got divorced too because he’s drug addict and tortured me badly. That time I was not following KC after that I am following KC till, the thing is again I got married in Jan 2019 but before that I enquired about 2nd marriage wil be allowed according to scriptures. I got information from devotees that if both of them follow KC then karma will get reduced so I thought of marrying a devotee but unfortunately I didnt get so I agreed to marry a non devotee he’s a vegetarian and at first he promised to follow KC and wont interfere in my spiritual activity. But after marriage only I came to know that he’s more worse than the first one because he tortured me in some way I couldn’t handle it and he scolded me very badly in the centre of the road and blamed me for no reason. In my lifetime nobody scolded like this but I didn’t reply back and I was chanting at the time in mind to overcome that situation. After this, my parents brought me to my home. Both the persons I married was impotent and psycho. In this situation I consider it as a Krishnas mercy. Some of my relatives are saying go for a job then you will be alright but I’m unable to do any kind of job. I tried for job and have done short term courses for job. Nothing worked out. The more I think of job and other activity I’m thinking am moving away from Krishna I should do all kind of services to radha krishna. Both are arranged marriages and they both equally gave wrong horoscope dey din give correct horoscope. Now my mind is saying that I should render service for Krishna. All other activities are secondary and I don’t like to work also. Now parents are supporting me but I don’t know how long they will support me. Whenever i go to temple I’m crying like anything in front of the lord. I want to do book distribution, to tell others about Krishna, make good bhoga for krishna, should attend bagavatham class like that, my mind is hankering . Everyday am reading prabhupada books also. Plz hide my name and suggest me solution. I don’t know what to do but I have hope that Krishna wil do something for me.”
REPLY:
There must be some serious dosha in your horoscope.. So, Accurate advice about future steps that was customized specially for you can be given only after analyzing your horoscope. If you like to have customized advice, refer THIS PAGE of our site.
Now, Let me give all possibilities in general:
(1) Whether you like it or not, first of all, YOU SHOULD GO TO A JOB. Unless you go to a job, you may suffer after the demise of your parents. So, change your consciousness to accommodate a job in your life. Try for a decent job with decent earning that will help you to lead a simple life by yourself.
So, no excuses. Try and get a job at any cost and start working with keen interest. It is the must for you.
(2) I never support any devotee to live depending on others. A woman can remain a housewife if her husband wants her to be so and gives her good respect as a housewife. In case even that husband does not respect her as a housewife, she should go to job. So, education is the must for women. It will help her if she is left alone in life with or without a child. So, all women, please study well and keep on updating your knowledge though you remain as a housewife.
(3) The tone of your message shows that you are very much attracted with the full time service to Krishna in temples. Sorry, again, for women, it is not possible to depend fully on a temple to feed her and give her protection throughout her life. It is not the business of temples. Women are not expected to live in temples. They may stay in hostels and do service in temples and go back to hostel. So, for your own life maintenance, you should go to a job and earn.
(4) So, do not act like a fool by losing interest in going to a job. REMEMBER: For deserted wives, HER JOB IS THE ONLY LIFE-SAVING FACTOR. DO NOT DEVELOP HATRED IN GOING TO JOBS.
(5) I WARN YOU: If you develop hatred in working and develop interest in serving Krishna full time in temples, in future, you will suffer if you face any diseases, old age, etc. So, work, earn and save for your last days. Do not depend on individuals, temples, sathsanghas, etc. They have some other worries. You will be a burden for others. Do not allow that.
(6) It is painful to note that your two marriages failed and your choices went wrong. Only after analyzing the horoscope of yourself and husbands, I can give clear advice whether you can go for remarriage again. For some people, the dosha will be very strong. For others, it will be weak that can be managed with some tricks. So, decide about marriage after analyzing your horoscope.
(7) There is no doubt that devotional way of life is the good solace for painful hearts like you. But, if you do not work and earn, but is involving in devotion, one day, your life will stand in front of you like a mountain that will be difficult to move. To avoid that, now itself go to job and set your life as a self standing one. This will make you thank me in your old age for having given this advice to you.
Do what I said and do not be a foolish woman depending on some persons or forums to manage your life. Always stand on your own legs because you have good legs.
All the best.