Is a Devotee Couple Avoiding Children for economic reasons right?
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“What to do if wife want physical relationship (because of strong desire and bodily need) but husband don’t want children (because of economical conditions). Please guide many will have this type of condition. Thank you”
REPLY:
For all, particularly for the Devotee Couples, avoiding Children artificially for economic reasons IS NOT RIGHT if both husband and wife are devotees. These things are done by a few of them though they are hearing so many advice from so many sources.
We can just pass the advices, but, for many couples, following those advices will be difficult, particularly when one is a devotee and the other is not.
This violation is done even by some devotee couples throughout the world.
As per the recommendations of the scriptures, aborting the baby is not allowed and it is considered as killing a child within the womb.
(Should I send my children to the Gurukuls to protect his devotion? READ HERE!)
Now a days, many couples abort the baby for the reason that the baby was conceived when they are not prepared.
Whose mistake was this! Why should they kill that baby after conceiving it? Why should they have relations without planning?
In this case mentioned by you, the wife is interested in pleasures. The husband hesitates considering his financial position. He may fear that he may struggle to develop that child if they get one at that time.
So, they may think of using the contraceptives to avoid abortion.
What they think may be genuine.
In fact, using the contraceptives is also against the tradition. But, better than aborting the child. That’s all.
So, they have a few options. Let us review them:
They may have relations during the safe period (mostly) of fifteen days in every month. Of course, this may be a better action than aborting because they choose the period that has less possibility of conceiving a child. This is better than killing thru abortion.
Srila Prabhupada has said that one can mate even hundred times if he does not stop the child conception and makes his children the devotees of Krishna.
At the same time, instead of aborting after conception, avoiding the conception itself may be better.
(How to develop Social skills for the devotee children who are not social? READ HERE!)
One should not forget that they add karma if they mate for pleasures alone. Mating is meant for producing children. During some occasions when you are disturbed by the senses severely, you can mate to calm down the agitating senses.
If they mate to get the children and to make them the devotees, they don’t get karma because they are giving a devotee servant to the Lord.
Now a days, the people fear to get more than one children.
But, the fact is that though they get ten children, the karma network will arrange food for all those ten children. Without the arrangements, Krishna never allows a person to take birth.
In my family, we are dozen children and I am the last one. No one is starving. In those days, the orthodox couples avoided contraceptives. So, in every orthodox family, there were 10-12 children. Our family was also one.
So, they can give birth to a few children and develop them as devotees.
If they fear for it or find it difficult, they should avoid getting more children.
(Is Grahastha life Impure Inferior? Can a Grahastha go back to Krishna? READ HERE!)
If a Devotee Couple Avoiding Children for economic reasons is not right, how can they stop the conception of children?
(i) By mating during safe period of 7 days before or after monthly periods. This is the inferior method. But, better than aborting after conception
(ii) By getting the children and making all of them as devotees of Krishna. Â This is the moderately good option.
(iii) Third one is to reduce the mating as once a month. This is the best method. But, may be difficult for many. This may reduce the conception, but will not stop altogether.
Everyone should review himself/ herself and spouse and then choose the best one among the above three.
In the case mentioned by you, the options (i) and (ii) may work. Option (iii) will not work as the wife needs more.
As per the Pati dharma, if the wife needs more, the husband MUST give & Vice versa. So,  he may give birth to more children and develop them as devotees. But, in this case, the husband may have to face financial shortage to give education for all the children.
So, If the wife too is a devotee, the husband should counsel her properly to reduce mating as advised by the scriptures.
In case, the wife is not a serious devotee of Krishna who can’t be convinced, the husband is helpless and hence he may have to use contraceptive as his wife needs more company of husband. It may not be good for a husband to divorce his wife for this reason or Vice versa.
Using contraceptive is better than aborting. So, if a devotee husband or wife has this issue of having non devotee spouse with “more needs”, there will be no other way than to use a contraceptive.
See, I don’t recommend using contraceptive. But, it is better than killing a child thru abortion and divorcing. We are discussing better options to avoid abortions.
Using a contraceptive means just wasting the sperm cells. Aborting is killing after giving life. I just tell them to choose less sinful choice in unavoidable circumstances.
I like to assert this:Â Only if both the husband and the wife are the devotees with the same preferences, these rules can be followed. In case one is a devotee and the other is not, these rules are difficult to follow. Here only, the usage of contraceptive is followed by many devotees.
I have just given suggestions. Not conclusions or recommendations. You have to review everything and follow a suitable option for you. Think of them, discuss with the spouse and then decide.
Hope you are clear about whether a Devotee Couple Avoiding Children for economic reasons right or not.
(No Mating or Mating to get devotee children – Which is good  for devotee couples? READ HERE!)