Devotee Girl marrying a Smoker unknowingly! How to handle him?

Devotee Girl marrying a Smoker unknowingly! How to handle him?

“A Girl devotee” asked like this:

“hare krsna prabhu..i am a devotee..i have married with a  non devotee n l m facing a lot of problem in my house..my husband eat outside and smoke even i do house program regularly, go to temple, he is not changing wat should i do…???”

REPLY:

You go to the temple. Ok. Do you take him with you?

That is very important.

Nothing to worry.  Even the sister of Srila Prabhupada had to face the same problems from her husband.

(What to do if my devotee Husband marries another girl for physical needs? READ HERE!)

When she cried to Srila Prabhupada about this, he advised to be patient and we have to face our karma.

Be happy that your husband is not going behind other women and having illicit relations.  He is doing only small offences.  He is eating outside and smoking.  Both are correctible.  Both are not criminal offences.  Unnecessary habits;  That’s all.  He is not a criminal.  A good person with some weaknesses.  See him like that.

Only if a husband is having illicit relations  or drinking,  it is serious and will invite problems from outside and lead to mental agony.  Because,  a woman may act against him, or, he may do offences in the drunken state.

But, smoking is different.  LIQUOR ADDICTION is very serious.  SMOKE addiction can be easily corrected.

(Will Krishna reform abusing husbands if the wife likes to avoid divorce? READ HERE!)

Go to a medical shop.  Get some Nicotine gums.  Whenever he likes to smoke, let him chew this  gum.  This Gum is nothing but, nicotine gum.  It will reduce the craving of smoking.  After using this NICOTINE GUM for 3 or 4 months or two, he can stop this gum also.  Because, quitting this gum is easier than quitting smoking.

This is material method.  If you take him to temple whenever you go, because of the association of devotees, he will gradually change.   Speak to him when he is in good mood.

Tell him:

“You need not do any other help for me.  I do not want rich dress, rich jewels, etc.  I do not have any other expectations from you.  I just want you to stop smoking.  If you do this for your wife, that means, you are honouring my wishes.  And, you should take only the food provided by me.  Whatever you want, I will prepare and give.  So, please stop eating outside.   If you do these two things for me, I will be very happy. I do not want nothing else from you”

Every normal man will think about it.  In case he does not change even after that, start sathyagraha.

Stop talking to him unless he asks anything.
Stop speaking cordially.
Stop co-operating for some period.

(Can a Girl divorce her husband as per the Laws of Manu? READ HERE!)

He must miss you.  He must long for some caring words from you.

Till that, maintain this sathyagraha.  At a point of time, he will have to realize:

“If I do not stop smoking and eating out, she will not speak to me;  I have to decide between cigarette and my wife.  Which is more important for me?”

Finally, he will decide in your favour as he can not remain without wife’s love.  So, patiently follow these methods and correct him.

Don’t use harsh words to him.  Don’t treat him like a criminal.

He is not a criminal or he is not inferior.  He is also human.

Smoking is his weakness and somehow he has got that habit and became addicted.

It can not be stopped by the force.  It is possible only by love and sathyagraha.

Some people will take Krishna Consciousness immediately like you;  Some others will take some time  if they have more anarthas than you.

So, deal with him with love and these sincere attempts will correct him.

(How to deal if a devotee husband ill treats his wife? READ HERE!)

You can also pray to Krishna to offer success in your efforts in correcting him.

Most important effort is giving him the opportunity to associate with the devotees.

By giving a higher taste, we can make him lose his lower tastes.

This is what happened in the case of thousands of westerners and even the devotees worldwide.

The most serious addicts of smoke, liquor and other intoxicants were changed just with the association of a Pure devotee Srila Prabhupada.

You too give your husband opportunity to associate with the senior devotees.

It will do wonders.

Hope you are clear  about a devotee Girl marrying a Smoker and how to deal with him.

(Should a wife serve a non devotee husband also? READ HERE!)

Author: RAJAN

RAJAN from Tamil Nadu, India, a Life Patron and an Initiated Devotee being in ISKCON for nearly three decades, serves anonymously to avoid Prominence and crowd as an insignificant, Humble and Neutral Servant for all the devotees of Krishna! He promotes Social media forums and this blog-website as e-satsangha (e-forums) blessed with Lakhs of followers, to give Spiritual Solutions for all the Material Problems of the devotees since 2011! He writes friendly and practical tips to practice devotion (i) without hurting the followers of other paths, (ii) without affecting the personal and career life, and (iii) without the blind, superstitious and ritualistic approach! He dedicates all the glories and credits to his Guru and Krishna.