Living without expectations! Best Tips to follow!
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
Gauranga!! HariBol Prabhu. PAMHO, All glories to Srila Guru Maharaj. All glories to Srila Prabhupad. My name is …………………from ……… Pls don’t use my name Prabhu. Please. Prabhuji i have a doubt “how can one not have expectations? And why do we have them? If they are not fulfilled why are we so upset?” I don’t know why this doubt has arisen. HariBol!!!
REPLY:
If you like to get the special mercy of Krishna, YOU MUST SKIP EXPECTATIONS. Living without expectations is possible.
Without deserting expectations, we can not go back to the Lord.
Why?
Because, Krishna Himself has said in Bhagavad Gita that a man falls because of attachments. Attachments come only when we have expectations.
(How a devotee loses his eligibility to be in Goloka and falls down? READ HERE!)
Krishna says that when we develop a desire (expectation), we will get angry when we do not get the desire fulfilled. Due to this anger, all the anarthas start and finally, that man falls.
For example, How does a person become attached with his wife? Because, whenever he expects pleasures and co-operation fromher, she gives. She supports the spouse at all places and he is always staying with spouse. So, the wife gives whatever the husband expects. So, attachment comes.
If a person does not expect anything from wife/ husband, then, he/she will not lament or get angry for not getting it. In case he/ she gets on any day, he takes it with a balanced mind as said by Krishna in Bhagavad Gita (Ch-5, Text-3):
“One who neither hates nor desires the fruits of his activities is known to be always renounced. Such a person, free from all dualities, easily overcomes material bondage and is completely liberated, O mighty-armed Arjuna.”
He even does not hate the pleasures coming voluntarily. He never laments for not getting it. he accepts whenever he gets. Such a desireless/ balanced person is called sanyasi as said by Krishna. So, this means, a sanyasi need not hate the outcome of his actions, but, he should not EXPECT it. He should just do his duty and accept whatever outcome he gets.
(Will Krishna arrange me a job even if I don’t aim for it to avoid expectations? READ HERE!)
EXPECTATION means fixing a QUANTUM or TIME FOR ANYTHING (or) EXPECTING ONLY A PARTICULAR RESULT WITHOUT GIVING CHOICE.
“I should get Rs.10 crores of profit this year”
“I should get a wife like the Miss Universe”
“I should get a car similar to that of our Prime Minister”
“The teacher should give me 100 marks”
“My wife should be a master in all talents” (No one can be a master in all areas. Everyone has some unique talents and shortcomings)
Only such FIXATIONS are condemned. If you expect as per such fixations, it is the prohibited expectation. But, everyone is doing business for profit only. However, perform your duty and develop a product/ service that is worth the highest reward. But, you do not fix the reward. You do perfectly. The Lord through His karma Network will fix how much profit you deserve according to karma.
Why karma? Yes. The Lord has to balance everything. In case you had cheated in the business in your previous births, you should be given less profits in this birth. So, though you work hard, your profit will be less compared to the profit got by another person doing the same work.
(Sakama, Nishkam & Suddha Bhakti – Which is Superior to follow? Why? READ HERE!)
So, IF YOU BELIEVE THAT WHATEVER WE GET NOW IS FIXED AND SCALED USING OUR PAST KARMA, YOU WILL NOT EXPECT ANYTHING.
If we had cheated our wife and had illicit relations with many girls, then, how can we expect that our wife will be loyal to us in this birth? We will have to face the heat of her not having the loyalty.
So, WE HAVE “NO RIGHT” TO EXPECT BECAUSE WE DO NOT REMEMBER OUR PAST BIRTHS’ ACTIVITIES.
Another aspect is, ONLY WHEN WE CONSIDER OURSELVES AS DOER (KARTHA) FOR EVERYTHING, WE WILL EXPECT THE FRUITS. So, when we consider that ONLY THE LORD’s KARMA NETWORK FIXES EVERYTHING IN OUR PRESENT LIFE, WE CAN NOT HAVE EXPECTATIONS.
This is what Lord says in Bhagavad Gita (3-27):
“The spirit soul bewildered by the influence of false ego thinks himself the doer of activities that are in actuality carried out by the three modes of material nature.”
(Is it still wrong worshiping demigods without any expectations from them? READ HERE!)
When Parikshit Maharaj was told that he will live only for seven more days, can he expect to conquer more countries and add with his kingdom? So, he could not expect anything and hence he wanted to hear Bhagavatham within the seven days and get the life in Vaikunta.
So, when our life is temporary, why should we expect the fruits? If we are given tons of money, will we be living here to enjoy all those money?
Then, what is the solution given by Lord for Living without expectations?
He advices us to understand the differences between work for devotion, and the work for fruits, in Bhagavad Gita (3-28):
“One who is in knowledge of the Absolute Truth, O mighty-armed, does not engage himself in the senses and sense gratification, knowing well the differences between work in devotion and work for fruitive results.”
(Is expecting a devotee spouse considered as expectation? READ HERE!)
What will be the result if we do not work for the Lord, but, work for fruits?
The Lord warns in Bhagavad Gita (3-9):
“Work done as a sacrifice for Visnu has to be performed, otherwise work causes bondage in this material world. Therefore, O son of Kunti-, perform your prescribed duties for His satisfaction, and in that way you will always remain free from bondage.”
We can also understand that when we work for cultivating athma, NOT the body, we can work without expectations. Because He says, athma is higher that our senses, intelligence, mind, etc.
He says this in Bhagavad Gita (3-42):
“The working senses are superior to dull matter; mind is higher than the senses; intelligence is still higher than the mind; and he [the soul] is even higher than the intelligence.”
So, work for cultivating athma; How? Work for satisfying the Lord; work just as a duty; Do not fix any QUANTUM for profit; believe that you are directed by karma.
All these realizations will make living without expectations possible for you, but just as a duty.
Hope you are clear about LIVING WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS.
(Believing the Fate or Work -Which is more important to follow? READ HERE!)