Can Senior Devotees / Preachers give solutions for the personal problems of the married devotees?

Can Senior Devotees / Preachers give solutions for the personal problems of the married devotees?

Actual Question from a male devotee (Name hidden):

“Can a temple President promote n advice people to divorce wilthout consideration of both. Husband n wife??”


Usually, it is not advisable.

However, if except the leader, all the others are inexperienced devotees, the leader can give some tips from the scriptures keeping both the husband and wife together in his presence. That’s all.

If he starts to hear and mediate the problems of the couples, he too will have the risk of falling in the materialistic way of life.

A spiritual leader/ preacher is expected to preach for the purification of soul.  If the soul is purified, most of the problems related to body will go away because that person will not give importance for body related pleasures and pains.

Therefore, it is always good for a spiritual leader to stop just with the preaching of great spiritual facts.

If any couple comes to him conveying their personal problems, he can just advise to focus on God and give less importance for those silly issues.

Why I am telling like this?

Because, if he gives a solution, it can’t satisfy both the parties.  One may be pleased and the other may be displeased. Thus, he will lose the confidence of a devotee.

As far as marital issues are concerned, we can’t satisfy them easily.  One may exaggerate the activities of the other.  No one will accept his own fault.  He/ she will put all the accusations on the other person.  Giving a correct judgement is very difficult.

Even if he gives a judgement, it will affect one party.

The spiritual leader should speak about spirit only, ie, soul.

A boy may be a non devotee before marriage.  After marriage, he may embrace a devotional path. After that, he may start to hate marital relations. This change of consciousness may create many issues in his married life. The innocent wife will be crying because of the change of preferences of her husband.

What is her mistake? Nothing. He married her and was living happily.  He got a chance to embrace devotional life.  After that, he changed his preferences in his life. The wife became an unwanted burden for him. Therefore, he starts to find faults in his wife.

He may consult some spiritual leaders about his inability to manage life with his wife.

In this episode, the wife may be a victim if the spiritual leader advises him to divorce his wife. For no fault on her side, she will be suffering after the divorce.

Therefore, the spiritual personalities should refrain from involving in the personal affairs of the devotees.

Then, how to regulate the people from disciplinary matters?

(1) He can give general instructions of managing a married life while following devotion.  As a preacher, I am doing that only.  I give general tips for following devotion after marriage.  I don’t directly involve in the personal affairs of the couples.

(2) He can give general advice to all in a common platform or medium that he/ she should be patient in life and accept the spouse with his/ her negatives also.

(3) He can also give general advice that a husband or wife should avoid divorce for silly and correctible reasons. Just because one is advancing in devotion, he/ she should not divorce his/ her spouse.

(4)  He can generally advise publicly that unless a person is unchaste, uncaring and torturous, a husband or wife should not go for divorce.

Thus, he can give some generatl suggestions.  The couples should try their best to follow these general advices.

In case they are not able to cope up and like to go for divorce even after trying to follow these general advices, they should not come to the spiritual leaders or preachers.  They themselves should decide on marital problems and divorce.

My request to the devotees:    Approach the spiritual leaders only for spiritual reasons, not for material reasons.  Just hear their public advice and try to follow them.

So, my answer to your question is:  The spiritual leader or temple manager need not hear both the parties. Instead, he should totally avoid involving in such marital problems.  This will disturb his spiritual standing.

Hope you are clear.

Author: RAJAN

RAJAN from Tamil Nadu, India, a Life Patron and an Initiated Devotee being in ISKCON for nearly three decades, serves anonymously to avoid Prominence and crowd as an insignificant, Humble and Neutral Servant for all the devotees of Krishna! He promotes Social media forums and this blog-website as e-satsangha (e-forums) blessed with Lakhs of followers, to give Spiritual Solutions for all the Material Problems of the devotees since 2011! He writes friendly and practical tips to practice devotion (i) without hurting the followers of other paths, (ii) without affecting the personal and career life, and (iii) without the blind, superstitious and ritualistic approach! He dedicates all the glories and credits to his Guru and Krishna.

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