Eight forms of Subtle Relations with women a brahmachari should avoid!
Qn in detail from a devotee:
hare krishna prabhu ji,pranam!!dandavat!!in this srila prabhupada letter, “There are eight kinds of subtle sense gratification life. If you see one beautiful woman and if you appreciate, “Oh, how nice the face is,” that is subtle violation. If you read books, that is also subtle violation. If you endeavor how to approach that woman or man to find out the opportunity, that is subtle violation. There are eight kinds of subtle Sense Gratification life. So it is forbidden for a brahmacārī even to think of woman. That is brahmacārī. Even thinking of woman is subtle relation with her. It is very, very difficult. But mām eva ye prapadyante māyām etāṁ taranti te [Bg. 7.14]. If you catch the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa very tightly, these things will not disturb. (Prabhupada lecture Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 7.6.4 Vṛndāvana, December 5th 1975)”.. I want to know all those eight kind of subtle sex for knowledge and more advancement in KC. Thank u!! Hope dear prabhu ji will provide knowledge about that!! hare krishna.
REPLY:
Are you thinking that being unmarried is brahmacharya?
Not so.
One may avoid marriage even with the fear of facing life and bearing the responsibilities.
But Brahmacharya is an ashrama, a penance of purity.
According to the scriptures, not just having physical relations with any woman directly, but, there are eight forms of Subtle Relations with women a brahmachari should avoid!
Krishna has very clearly explained about this matter in Bhagavad Gita.
In Chapter-3, Sloka-6, Lord Says:
“One who restrains the senses of action but whose mind dwells on sense objects certainly deludes himself and is called a pretender.”
What does this mean?
One should not just abandon the action through senses. He should also not think of sense related actions within mind. Otherwise, he is a pretender. That means, he is showing himself as a controlled person, but, he is doing sinful acts within mind. Such persons will one day fall down by committing such sins physically.
EIGHT FORMS OF SUBTLE SEXUAL RELATIONS
Read them here:
(1) Just thinking of woman;
(2) Eagerly seeing a beautiful woman going on the street;
(3) Talking about woman;
(4) Reading about woman;
(5) Meeding (giving compensation or rewarding her) women in work;
(6) Associating with a women even as a friend.
(7) Developing a desire to mingle with a women other than ones wife.
(8) Indulging in PHYSICAL RELATIONS like more than guided by the sastras even with one’s own wife.
Being a REAL BRAHMACHARI is this much difficult!
(We already have a Post about a boy willing to settle in temples because of fear for marriage. READ IT HERE!)
However, there is no barrier to talk only about Krishna to women IN A PUBLIC PLACE. But, you should have strong determination and will power to remain a brahmachari both by body and mind.
ACHARYAS’ VIEWS ON EIGHT FORMS OF SUBTLE RELATIONS WITH WOMEN
Srila Prabhupada, the founder Acharya of ISKCON highlights some of these subtle form of sense gratification with women:
Lecture on Srimad Bhagavatham 6.1.12 in Los Angeles, June 25, 1975:
Brahmacaryeṇa means completely cessation of ………life. So that is not possible to completely give up eating or completely ………….. life, but make it regulated. That is tapasya: eating, sleeping, mating, and defense as much as it is required. The aim should be to make it nil. That is called tapasya. Tapasā brahmacaryeṇa [SB 6.1.13]. Brahmācārya means, strictly. Brahmācārya means that one should not look upon woman, “Oh, here is a very beautiful girl.” That is also ……., subtle ……… And to talk, “Fsh, fsh, fsh, fsh,” that is also subtle …….. So these things are to be avoided. There are eight kinds of subtle ……… life. This is called brahmācārya. So according to Vedic śāstra, if one lives with one woman, one man, they are also brahmacārī. Not many. This is… If one cannot give up ……. life, let him be satisfied with one man and one woman. That is also tapasya, that is also brahmacārī. But not that jumping from here, there, there, there, there, no, like monkey, no. (laughter) This is training. This is training.
Lecture on Srimad Bhagavatham 6.1.61 in Vrndavana, August 28, 1975:
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So we should be very… Brahmacārī, there are so many restrictions. Even to see woman—”A beautiful woman is going, let me see”—that is also forbidden. That is also subtle ………enjoyment. Gross and subtle, there are so many subtle …….. enjoyments—to think of woman, to see a beautiful woman going on the street, or to talk about woman, to read about woman. There are eight kinds of subtle ……………………………… So it is restricted. But in the Kali-yuga it is very difficult to follow all the rules and regulation. One is not trained up. Even up to ripe old age, one becomes attracted by beautiful women. Especially in the Western countries. I have seen in Paris, old man, seventy-five years old, eighty years old, they are going to the ………. They are going to the night club. They are purchasing ticket to enter into the club-fifty dollars. Then they have to pay for the woman and wine and everything. In this way… So hṛd-roga-kāma, this hṛd-roga, hṛc-chaya, is a heart disease. It is very, very difficult to avoid unless one is fully Kṛṣṇa conscious.
Lecture on SB 7.6.4 in Vrndavana, December 5, 1975:
Sometimes we think, “Oh, how I was enjoying ………………. life with my wife, with my husband.” That is also pleasure. They read so many novels because there is …………. life. They feel very happy: “How this man is talking with this woman, woman is talking, this woman, and how they are enjoying.” So that is subtle, subtle enjoyment. There are eight kinds of subtle ……….. life. If you see one beautiful woman and if you appreciate, “Oh, how nice the face is,” that is subtle ……… If you read books, that is also subtle …….. If you endeavor how to approach that woman or man to find out the opportunity, that is subtle……………. There are eight kinds of subtle …………… life. So it is forbidden for a brahmacārī even to think of woman. That is brahmacārī. Even thinking of woman is subtle ……….. life. It is very, very difficult. But mām eva ye prapadyante māyām etāṁ taranti te [Bg. 7.14]. If you catch the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa very tightly, these things will not disturb.
CONCLUSION:
Now, you would have understood the Eight forms of Subtle Relations with women a brahmachari should avoid! Is it possible? Of course it is possible though it will be difficult initially. The brahmacharya is mind related first, NOT RELATED TO CLOTHES WE WEAR. If the mind is pure and the senses are involved in KRISHNA’s service, brahmacharya is possible. If you surrender to Krishna and dedicate your life for His service alone and catch His Lotus Feet strongly, it is possible to follow brahmacharya both in body and mind.