What is the punishment for the parents who desert their children?
A devotee asked like this:
“what about hurting, misbehaving, uncaring and deserting children by their parents.?? Because it is responsibility of parents first to care, well behaving and give sanskara to their children. why don’t you write about it some times?”
If you post this please hide name. Thank you Prabhu ji Haribol.
The Parents give birth to us. So, we should take care of them. This is what expected from the children.
At the same time, the scriptures give some advice for the parents too.
Let me list a few of them:
(1) A person who enter into the marriage has to protect their wife and children till they start to stand on their own.
(2) He/ she should not desert his wife/ husband except in the case in which she/ he has illicit affairs.
(3) A person should get a child only if he is able to develop them with good character. In devotional path, it is alternatively said that one should get a child only if he will try his best to make that child a devotee.
(4) The parents should lead a responsible life to be followed by their children.
(5) The father should not take sanyasa until his children become capable of taking care of his wife (their mother).
(6) The parents should introduce/ give God to their children before they get a guru.
Thus, there are many instructions for the parents also.
Now a days, the parents have a new definition for the term SUCCESS.
Unless the son earn well, he is considered as NOT SETTLED IN LIFE.
Only the good earners are considered successful now a days.
If a son/ daughter likes to follow a devotional way of life, he/ she is considered as wasting his/ her life in unproductive activities because devotion will not give money.
The parents pressurize their children to score first rank to get admitted in medical/ Engineering colleges. Thus, the parents consider their children as Marks Producing Machines
So, the children are always nervous and they are not allowed to take sufficient rest, change of mood, etc.
If the son or daughter likes to avoid marriage because of his/ her natural psychological preferences, he/ she is condemned by the parents and compelled to marry. So, they marry even without any interest and suffer later.
Most the parents consider that they have escaped from their duties if they do not see their child getting married. It becomes their prestige issue.
If the son or daughter does not get a child even after one or two years, they again feel as if their prestige is challenged.
They like to prove to the society that they have given their children in marriage, they have become grand parents, etc.
Thus, the parents establish their prestige by pressurizing their children in all aspects and they always expect their child to act like the neighbours or relatives act.
This is impossible.
In this world, everyone is unique in character. The parents can’t expect their children to become like the neighbours or relatives.
So, the children are denied their right to choose how they should achieve in life.
The parents should first DISCUSS AND IDENTIFY IN WHICH FIELD/ AREA THEIR CHILDREN FEEL COMFORTABLE, and then encourage them to achieve in their desired field.
Let me give an example of a popular music director in India, particularly, Tamilnadu and south India.
The Music Maestro Ilayaraja is one of the unique music directors in the world. Even the Hindi Music directors would comment him as the music director who brings the tunes of the next ten years in advance. If you hear the songs of Ilayarajaa, that song will take you to the place mentioned in that song. It will make us feel the background. He is from rural Tamilnadu and did not study any course for music. But, he has given more than 5000 lovely songs that have been copied by many Hindi and other music directors. (For eg: The song Oh Priya Priya…in the Hindi film DIL was the copied version of Ilyaraja’s song as it is in his film Gitanjali, Telugu)
How could he become a Maestro in music?
Because, he worked as directed by his heart, not just scholarly studies.
He did his most favourite job. So, he became No-1 in music in India.
But, now, the parents do not allow their children to choose a field that they are interested in.
They expect their children to act as they (parents) like.
This is the most serious issue in India, yes, mostly in India, not in the west. In the west, the parents can’t compel their children to act as they like. They can’t even beat their own children that will invite jail term.
As usual, here too, there are good parents who understand the choice of their children. All parents are not like that.
But, this pressurizing syndrome is increasing like virus in India.
The students should learn to convince their parents about their choice of activity.
That is why, I always advise the students to study well and start earning first. Then, they should follow devotion while doing job.
The choice of the course or job should be according to the natural interest of the students. Krishna calls this as assigned duties, ie, the field in which we have natural interest.
So, the children need not follow if their parents compel them to do a job that is not interested to you. Krishna advice in Bhagavad Gita to perform our naturally assigned duties and also warns us not to do the duties of others though it is better than your choice.
What this means?
If your parents compel you to do a course or job in which you are not interested, try your best to convince them on your own first or taking your teacher to your house to explain your case.
If your parents do not understand your explanation, and if your choice is good to earn and lead a decent life, then, you can proceed with your own choice.
But, try your best to convince them.
And, if your parents do not lead a decent / ethical life, you may choose to stay in a hostel and study or do job.
First ensure that your choice is good. Explain them. Then proceed on your own choice.
But, you should earn something to take care of yourself. Do not forget it.
Next, about the parents deserting their children who are not offensive. The punishment for them is very clear. They will not have a child in their next birth.
So, in all the stages of life, just ensure that you are not going in an unethical path and act on your own choices after getting expert advice about your choice. It is enough.
Hope this helps.