What is the karma for irresponsible parents who fail to care children?
A devotee asked like this:
“what about hurting, misbehaving, uncaring and deserting children by their parents.?? Because it is responsibility of parents first to care, well behaving and give sanskara to their children. why don’t you write about it some times? If you post this please hide name. Thank you Prabhu ji Haribol.”
The Parents give birth to us. So, we should take care of them. This is what expected from the children.
(Daughter or Son – who is responsible to protect the parents to avoid karma? READ HERE!)
At the same time, the scriptures give some advice for the parents too.
Let me list a few of them:
(1) A person who enter into the marriage has to protect their wife and children till they start to stand on their own.
(2) He/ she should not desert his wife/ husband except in the case in which she/ he has illicit affairs.
(3) A person should get a child only if he is able to develop them with good character. In devotional path, it is alternatively said that one should get a child only if he will try his best to make that child a devotee.
(4) The parents should lead a disciplined and responsible life as an example/ roll model to be followed by their children.
(5) The father should not take sanyasa until his children become capable of taking care of his wife (their mother).
(6) The parents should introduce/ give God to their children before they get a guru.
(7) The father should keep sufficient wealth for his wife and education as wealth for children too as they do not suffer after his demise.
Thus, there are many instructions for the parents also to avoid karma for irresponsibility of those parents.
(Who are allowed to do last rites for deceased parents? Can illegal son do? READ HERE!)
Now a days, the parents have a new definition for the term SUCCESS.
Unless the son earn well, he is considered as NOT SETTLED IN LIFE.
Only the good earners are considered successful now a days.
If a son/ daughter likes to follow a devotional way of life, he/ she is considered as wasting his/ her life in unproductive activities because devotion will not give money.
The parents pressurize their children to score first rank to get admitted in medical/ Engineering colleges. Thus, the parents consider their children as Marks Producing Machines and they get the karma meant for irresponsible parents.
So, the children are always nervous and they are not allowed to take sufficient rest, change of mood, entertainment, devotional practices, etc.
If the son or daughter likes to avoid marriage because of his/ her natural psychological preferences, he/ she is condemned by the parents and compelled to marry. So, they marry even without any interest and suffer later.
(If inter caste marriage gives hell to parents, why many devotees do that? READ HERE!)
Most the parents consider it as a prestige issue if they do not see their child getting married in time..
If the son or daughter does not get a child even after one or two years, they again feel as if their prestige is challenged.
They like to prove to the society that they have given their children in marriage and they have become grand parents without knowing what will happen in future.
Thus, the parents establish their prestige by pressurizing their children in all aspects and they always expect their child to act like the neighbor or relatives act.
This is impossible.
In this world, everyone is unique in character. The parents can’t expect their children to become like the neighbors or relatives.
So, the children are denied their right to choose how they should achieve in life that adds karma for those irresponsible parents.
The parents should first DISCUSS AND IDENTIFY IN WHICH FIELD/ AREA THEIR CHILDREN FEEL COMFORTABLE, and then encourage them to achieve in their desired field.
Let me give an example of a popular music director in India, particularly, Tamilnadu and south India.
(Parents (or) Krishna – Whom Should the Girls and boys Prefer To Serve? READ HERE!)
The Music director Ilayaraja is one of the highly talented music directors in the world. Even the Hindi Music directors would comment about him as the music director who brings the tunes of the next ten years in advance. He is from rural Tamilnadu and did not study any course for music. But, he has given more than 5000 lovely songs that have been copied by many Hindi and other music directors.
How could he become a scholar in music?
Because, he worked as directed by his heart, not just scholarly studies.
He did his most favorite job. So, he became popular in music in India.
But, now, the parents do not allow their children to choose a field that they are interested in.
They expect their children to act as they (parents) wish.
This is the most serious issue in India, not in the west. In the west, the parents can’t compel their children to act as they like. They can’t even beat their own children that will invite jail term if the neighbor complains.
However, here too, there are good parents who understand the choice of their children. All parents are not like that.
But, this pressurizing syndrome is increasing like virus in India with the competitive environment in career and hence they add karma for irresponsible parents.
The students should learn to convince their parents about their choice of activity.
That is why, I always advise the students to study well and start earning first. Then, they can follow devotion while doing job. Thus, they can satisfy both Krishna and their parents.
The choice of the course or job should be according to the natural interest of the students. Krishna calls this as assigned duties, ie, the field in which we have natural interest.
So, the children need not follow if their parents compel them to do a job that is not comfortable to their nature. Krishna advices in Bhagavad Gita to perform our naturally assigned duties and also warns us not to do the duties of others though it is better than your choice.
What this means?
If your parents compel you to do a course or job in which you are not comfortable, try your best to convince them on your own first or taking your teacher to your house to explain your case.
(WHY FOLLOWING DEVOTION NEGLECTING PARENTS IS WRONG? – CASE STUDIES! READ HERE!)
If your parents do not understand your explanation, and if your choice is good to earn and lead a decent life, then, you can proceed with your own choice.
But, try your best to convince them.
And, if your parents do not lead a decent / ethical life, you may choose to stay in a hostel and study or work.
First ensure that your choice is good. Explain them. Then proceed with your own choice.
But, you should earn something to take care of yourself. Do not forget it.
Next, about the parents deserting their children who are not offensive. The punishment for them is very clear. They will not have a child in their next birth. Though they get a child, they will be deserted by their child(ren).
So, in all the stages of life, just ensure that you are not going on an unethical path and act on your own choices after getting expert advice about your choice. It is enough.
Hope this helps to understand the karma for irresponsible parents who fail to care children.
(Punishments for hurting others and Deserting Parents as per Karma!