Parents (or) Krishna – Whom Should the Girls and boys Prefer To Serve?
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna prabhuji 
…..if the question is of choosing any one parents or your Guru….and serving parents or serving krishna…. what shall be the priority….as my parents doesn’t want me to put my time to chanting and other spiritual activities….they want me to put my time for household work like taking care of the family….they want everything according to them according to the time”
REPLY:
Today’s youth are becoming selfish and clever while dealing with the parents. After marriage, many of them go for a separate family.
You need your parents to get clothes and protect your dignity for the past 25 years.
You need your parents to feed you so far by buying and giving whatever you wanted.
(CAITANYA’s BOLD ADVICE FOR BALANCING DEVOTION & FAMILY! READ HERE!)
You need your parents to protect you safely for the past 25 years.
You need your parents to give costly education spending lakhs for the past 25 years.
Your parents should bear whatever tortures you give to them since birth.
But, nonsense, when you love someone, you do not allow your parents to do something and when you find a spiritual orgaanisation, your parents become secondary and worthless.
The spiritual organisations and mutts are doing their duty. All can not go and reside there.
Particularly, women should not develop too much of interest to go away from the protection of the parents.
Temples will not bother about the feelings of your parents. They will just preach. If any devotee comes, they may utilize their services.
(Finding Match for marriage Satisfying both Parents and Krishna! Tips! READ HERE!)
Whoever comes to their temples, they will talk about sanyasa, detachments, etc.
But, all can not detach at the same time.
It differs from person to person according to the background of everyone.
That is why, too much of localisation of Vedic preaching was condemned by the vedic scriptures.
If we speak about detachment and sanyasa to everyone publicly in media or temples, they in fact create a storm in the house of every devotee.
The devotee goes to the home and shows his / her aversion to the relations.
They start to give less importance for the parents who have protected, educated and fed them so far.
(Is it dharma to refuse if my parents compel to take meat? READ HERE!)
They act as if they are more brilliant than their parents.
This is the nonsense trend.
Krishna is the Supreme God.
His earthly mother bound Him with ropes.
Did Krishna hate His mother? Did Krishna ill treated His parents in His avatar?
Then, what nonsense makes you think beyond your parents?
If you prefer Krishna to parents and leave the parents who did everything for you, do you believe that you can stay in the new life for ever?
If you face any issue in the devotional practices and come back to the parents, should your parents accept you again?
Are they your servants to act however you act?
Are they cursed to accept you whenever you commit mistakes and come back again?
(WHY FOLLOWING DEVOTION NEGLECTING PARENTS IS WRONG? – CASE STUDIES! READ HERE!)
They will get a child and do everything to them with BLIND FAITH. One day, the child will violate their advice and go behind a devotee or acharya or guru or temple deserting their parents who did everything to them.
After a few months or years they will realize that their decision was wrong and come back.
By that time, their parents would have died or committed suicide or felt ill. This devotee will return one day again.
It is the fate of the parents to accept them again.
See, for the women, their parents are the first priority before marriage.
After marriage her husband is the first priority even before the parents.
Only after these two, Krishna, Guru, etc.
Matha, Pitha, Guru and finally Deivam.
(Why God is listed last as “Matha Pitha Guru Deivam”, not “Deivam, Guru, Matha Pitha?” READ HERE!)
Here, Guru means husband for the women. Only after the husband comes the guru she accepts from anywhere.
What is wrong for the parents to expect their daughter to take care of family duties?
Why should a devotee act as if she is “something big’ beyond her parents after starting to follow devotional way of life?
Please do not fool your parents who did everything for you ttill date.
Why can’t you sacrifice your priorities for them?
Why should you think like “Parents OR Krishna”?
Why can’t you think like “Parents and Krishna”?
Who said that you should follow devotion in such a way that it irritates the parents?
You can love Krishna within heart and you can chant whenever you get time after finishing your duties for parents.
(KARMA : PUNISHMENTS FOR HURTING OTHERS AND DESERTING PARENTS! READ HERE!)
In fact, your parents need not know your love for Krishna.
Do not show as if a big devotee outside.
Be the sweet daughter of your parents outside.
Be the lover of Krishna within heart.
This is the only way that I have been recommending since the year 2011.
I tell you 1000 times:
“YOU CAN FOLLOW DEVOTION WITHOUT IRRITATING THE PARENTS or HUSBAND”
Our Site has plenty of posts about this balancing.
Read them and follow.
So, be with your parents and act as if you are a sweet daughter. Let them be happy.
Internally and truly love Krishna.
(My parents object my ekadasi fasting. What to do? READ HERE!)
Why do you get tensed to go to Krishna in the age of 25 itself?
Going back to Krishna is not like going from Delhi to Ghaziabad.
It has several stages. Take time and love Krishna without hurting the parents who gave this body to you and gave everything for you so far.
I lived like that till my age 51.
After I lost both my parents, I am now living for Krishna full time.
I am free from guilt of not protecting my parents now and I am happily doing this service. I go to sleep within 10 minutes of going to bed.
(What to do if the parents object going to ISKCON? READ HERE!)
Some ignorant persons may not know the greatness of this service. But, Krishna is showing abundant mercy towards me, that I only know personally because they are subtle exchanges.
Since I have feared for my conscience in my every decision, Krishna is very kind to me.
So, I never advise anyone to violate their parents.
You can follow devotion even as a daughter of the most cruel parents.
Because devotion is internal between you and Krishna.
(What to do when my parents criticize me for my appearance and devotion? READ HERE!)