My family members do not support me avoiding onion and garlic. How to manage?
A woman devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
Hare Krsna Prabhuji, After reading your posts to avoid onion, garlic, coffee, tea,non- veg, mushrooms, I am very much inspired to lead a life without them and also practice devotion, to go back to Godhead after this birth. The issue is, I have realised this, but my family consisting of husband, in-laws and relatives do not understand this. They love to have food with the above items. If I try to explain them the reason, they laugh at me. It is not possible for me to avoid having these items at a restaurant or a husband’s friends place. My husband doesn’t support me in this. He thinks this is all not possible in a normal life and not possible in this age. Prabhuji, I wish to seriously follow devotion and go back to Godhead after this birth. But these obstacles are reducing my interest in devotion and I fear for a re-birth. If I eat those restricted items, my consciousness spoils. The family members do not understand my beliefs and thinking and consider me as crazy. Please guide me here, how should I lead my life. Thanking you in advance.
Such problems exist in most of the families.
An aspirant for job can succeed in his mission only when he is able to market himself, ie, to explain his credentials clearly to the interviewers.
A trader can sell his products and make more money only when he is able to explain the merits of his products to the customers/visitors.
Even Srila Prabhupada had to go to America and sing alone in a park so that the kirtans/songs are heard by the casual visitors of that park. Because of his efficient marketing, he could establish Krishna Consciousness all over the world even among the followers of other faiths.
If Srila Prabhupada could convince even drunk addicts, women addicts, hippies., etc, can’t you convince your closest relations as your parents?
If Srila Prabhupada could achieve by putting 100% efforts, can’t you achieve by putting even 1% of his efforts?
Convincing those difficult people was possible for Srila Prabhupada. How?
Because, he had strong faith in the name and potency of Krishna.
Similarly, if you pray to Krishna to convince your family members and husband and then sincerely explain them, they will understand. Of course, it may take some time, but, it will happen.
Before that, you should know one thing. The speaker should have sufficient merits and consistence when he tries to change others. Srila Prabhupada’s merits made others accept his preaching.
Similarly, you should prove your family members and husband that you are a sincere devotee of Lord and you can’t live without serving Him.
They are not the persons with stone made heart. They prevent you from avoiding onion and garlic just because they unnecessarily fear that you may lose your body health.
So, you should explain them that nothing will happen if you stop onion and garlic. You should explain them that these two vegetables make your body aggressive and encourage anger and lust.
So, when we avoid them, we will have normal and optimum level of emotions such as anger and feelings to run a normal life and you will become dominated with satva guna that makes you a pleasing personality to all.
Explain them that those who avoid onion and garlic for a certain period of time, say, a few years, will not involve in quarrels and fights and hence his life will be peaceful.
He will also have a regulated feelings towards spouse alone and excessive feelings can be avoided by avoiding onion and garlic.
Also ask them whether the brahmanas who do not use them die of malnutrition. They are also leading a normal and regulated life that is good and recommended for all.
And, beg them to cook some dishes without onion and garlic just for you to fulfill the genuine desire of their daughter/ daughter-in-law/wife. Tell them that you do not want jewels, or rich clothes, but, just beg them to help you by making some dishes available for you without onion and garlic.
Or, you yourself cook delicious preparations without onion and garlic and serve them. If they insist add onion and garlic only for them and serve. You take the preparations without onion and garlic after offering. Side by side, serve your prasadam also to them. One day, they will start to prefer the prasadam. Make the taste and quality of the prasadam outstanding.
Mean time, keep on requesting them politely to consider taking prasadam alone since it comes packed with the vibrations of Krishna without karma.
Seeing your dedication in serving the Lord with offering food and also serving the family with the food they prefer, they will have no other way than to accept your genuine wish and innocent way of balancing Krishna and themselves and they will start to think in favour of you.
Till that, avoid if they prepare any preparation with onion and garlic. Take other preparations that do not have them. You prepare and serve as you like as two different preparations.
Let Krishna helps you to achieve this.