I get irritated frequently though I am an initiated girl devotee. What to do?
ACTUAL QUESTION :
I am a regular visitor of your site. Your work in spreading love of Lord Krishna has helped many devotees like me to come into devotion thank you for that. My question is I in devotion since 3.5 thus year I got initiated also. I am very force about devotion. I do it with detached mind. I have been getting angry and getting irritated.
And this irritation is getting more day by day I am 26yrs of age unmarried and working women. My father is has a taunting nature I taunt uselessly to all younger siblings when I go to protect them. it forms a fight. I am upset because I am unable to control myself..
I have a lot of job pressure to get sales and family pressure to earn for them. This has made my nature irritating. Please let me know how can I be stable in this situation.
Getting initiated is just the start of serious devotional service with dedication.
Therefore, initiated devotees can not be like sanyasis who have renounced this world.
Initiation means starting a devotional way of life.
Hari Nam Initiated (first initiation) devotees have pledged to follow all the devotional and discipline rules stipulated by their guru. That’s all. They are on the process of Self and God realization.
Therefore, they too are subject to all the emotions and pressures.
In your case, you have written that you are following devotion with detached mind. If it is so, you will not get irritated by the problems you are facing in your life.
I agree that a good family is the need for every child, particularly a girl. However, every person is unique and he is an individual soul.
Every person has to take care of himself and come up in life.
Therefore, You only have to lead your own life.
Others will just do some helps if you demand.
For example, when you are suffering from fever and body pain, others will take you to the doctor and arrange for your treatment.
But, you only have to bear the pains of the fever.
If you are struggling for money in your business, others may help you by giving some loan without interest. They will not come and run your business to recover their loan.
You only have to plan, work properly, earn and repay the loan given by them.
Thus, we only are responsible for our own happiness or pains.
Others can not determine your life.
However, your parents have some roles to play in your life. Particularly your father. He should try his best to arrange a groom for you.
He can not escape from this responsibility.
Therefore, if he is taking steps for your marriage, but, it gets delayed, my advice to you will be to patiently wait till a good groom is shown by Krishna.
For some girls or boys, there will be a karma of delayed marriage after 28. They may have ssome dosh like Manglik dosh, Mars dosh, Nag dosh, etc. If they perform early marriage, it may end in separation.
Therefore, For them, such a delayed marriage will be good because with the delay, the dosh will gradually come down. Therefore, a girl or boy need not worry for the delay in their marriage if any dosh is there in their horoscope.
If they patiently try for marriage, one day, it will materialize.
In rare cases, Lord would have chosen a girl or boy for His service. In such cases, that person may not have marriage in life, but, Lord will be double merciful on them by not giving family burden.
Thus, everything depends on our karma. We should learn to accept our karma and live patiently bearing the karmic effects.
When all our sincere efforts fail or gets delayed, it is the effect of karma. This is the reality of life.
Since you have got initiation, you are cleansed fast. Therefore, it may seem that you are facing more problems. It is just purification from karma stage by stage.
You have the strength of your spiritual master because of which you can successfully cross all the hurdles of life.
If your family members are affected by the insulting nature of your father, it is not a serious matter to worry. Many are struggling with drinking father in their life. Compared with their pains, yours will be moderate.
Like you, your father too may have some disappointments and pressures in his life that reflects in his approach. Until a father is doing his duties atleast to some extent, we should accept the negatives in him. Only if he fails in his duties completely, it is the worrying factor for children.
You have entrusted your life in the hands of your guru. Therefore, just perform your duties for parents, brothers and sisters. Continue your sincere devotional practices. When suitable time comes, the clouds will become clear in life.
Be hopeful in the protection of Krishna. You will never get irritated.
(I do not tell this just for giving dry advice. I too am a person who has faced unimaginable/ unbearable problems in life and coming out of them with the support of Krishna. Only based on my own experience and also the observation of the life of others, I am advising all of you. That is the purpose of these sites run by me!)