DEVOTEES GETTING IRRITATED SOME TIMES! HOW TO AVOID IT?
ACTUAL QUESTION :
I am a regular visitor of your site. Your work in spreading love of Lord Krishna has helped many devotees like me to come into devotion. thank you for that. My question is, I am in devotion since 3.5 years. I got initiated also. I am very force about devotion. I do it with detached mind. I have been getting angry and getting irritated.
And this irritation is getting more day by day I am 26 yrs of age unmarried and working women. My father has a taunting nature I taunt uselessly to all younger siblings when I go to protect them. it forms a fight. I am upset because I am unable to control myself..
I have a lot of job pressure to get sales and family pressure to earn for them. This has made my nature irritating. Please let me know how can I be stable in this situation.
REPLY:
Getting initiated is the start of committed devotional service with dedication. It is not the end of devotional practices.
Therefore, all the initiated devotees can not be like sanyasis who have renounced this world.
The Initiated devotees pledge to follow all the devotional and discipline rules stipulated by their guru. They are on the process of Self and God realization.
(Family Problems and Depression while following devotion. What to do? READ HERE!)
They too may be subject to all the emotions and pressures. So, initiated devotees getting irritated is not a rare thing.
In your case, you have written that you are following devotion with detached mind. If it is so, you will not get irritated by the problems you are facing in your life.
I agree that a good family is the need for every child, particularly a girl. However, every person is unique and he is an individual soul.
Every person has to take care of himself and come up in life.
Therefore, You only have to lead your own life.
Others will just do some helps if you demand.
For example, when you are suffering from fever and body pain, others will take you to the doctor and arrange for your treatment.
(How to be happy in spite of serious problems? READ HERE!)
But, you only have to bear the pains of the ailment.
If you are struggling for money in your business, others may help you by giving some loan with or without interest. They will not come and run your business to recover their loan.
You only have to plan, work properly, earn and repay the loan given by them.
Thus, we only are responsible for our own happiness or pains.
Others can not determine your life.
However, your parents have some roles to play in your life. Particularly your father. He should try his best to arrange a groom for you.
(Can a working girl be a sincere devotee and take care of her parents? READ HERE!)
He can not escape from this responsibility.
Therefore, if he is taking steps for your marriage, but, it gets delayed, my advice to you will be to patiently wait till a good groom is shown by Krishna.
For some girls or boys, there will be a karma of delayed marriage after 28. They may have some dosh like Manglik dosh, Mars dosh, Nag dosh, etc. If they perform early marriage, it may end in separation.
Therefore, For them, such a delayed marriage will be good because with the delay, the dosh will gradually come down. Therefore, a girl or boy need not worry for the delay in their marriage if any dosh is there in their horoscope.
If they patiently try for marriage, one day, it will materialize.
(AFTER COMING TO DEVOTION, I HATE MARRIAGE AND LIKE TO SETTLE IN THE TEMPLE. CAN I DO SO? READ HERE!)
In a few fortunate cases, the Lord would have chosen a girl or boy to engage in His service. In such cases, that person may not have marriage in life, but, the Lord will be double merciful on them by not giving the family burden for him to freely perform the service to Him..
Thus, everything depends on our karma. We should learn to accept our karma and live patiently facing the karmic effects.
When all our sincere efforts fail or gets delayed, it is the effect of karma. This is the reality of life.
Since you have got initiation, you are getting cleansed fast. Therefore, it may seem that you are facing more problems. It is just purification from karma stage by stage. So, the devotees getting irritated is not necessary.
You have the strength of your spiritual master and Guru parampara because of which you can successfully cross all the hurdles of life.
(After coming to devotion, I hate and avoid non-devotee family and others that makes them angry. Why Krishna allows this? READ HERE!)
If your family members are affected by the insulting nature of your father, it is not a serious matter to worry. Many are struggling with drinking father in their life. Compared with their pains, yours is moderate.
Like you, your father too may have some disappointments and pressures in his life that reflects in his approach. Until a father is doing his duties to some extent, we should accept the negatives in him. Only if he fails in his duties completely, it is the worrying factor for children.
You have entrusted your life in the hands of your guru. Therefore, just perform your duties for parents, brothers and sisters. Continue your sincere devotional practices. When suitable time comes, the things will become clear in life.
Be hopeful in the protection of Krishna. You will never get irritated.
You should first start to really detach from the materials and attach to Krishna.This will greatly avoid the devotees getting irritated.
(How to follow Karma Yoga? Is aiming for a good job a materialistic approach? READ HERE!)