Is Hating non devotees and praying to Krishna to punish them right?
ACTUAL QUESTIONS FROM TWO MALE DEVOTEES:
“hare krsna prabhu..i m trying to improve and connect to devotees. in the meanwhile, i used to not mix much with material people and few people used to take it negative and used to do all kind of foolish things, politics. what to do”
“Hare Krishna Prabhu ji! My material family don’t want me to at all become devotee. They go on blaspheming and criticising Bhakti Devi and Vaisnavas. My whole family thinks that religion means getting money, power, etc, from demigods. They are polytheists. Liberation and Bhakti are done by pretenders according to them. They never want any member to become devotee or even jnani. How should I behave with them?
This is a very important issue among the devotees. Therefore, I like to give a balanced advice for dealing with such materialistic relatives and others.
(I am going away from other gods after worshiping Krishna. I feel guilty. Help me! READ HERE!)
(1) First, let me say how to deal with negative response from others:
In general, we can’t stop the people misunderstanding and abusing us, and we can’t solve this by retaliating or abusing them back. Because, Your parents and other people are just ignorant, and they do not know what they speak and do.
Actually, a parent should be happy when their children shows interest in the devotion to Krishna. Because, in this advancing kaliyuga, many children involve in prohibited activities secretly. But, you are longing for Krishna. So, they must encourage you in devotional service.
Actually, this practice of misunderstanding others without knowing their actual intention exists in all the fields, including spiritual/ devotional service. Envy may be the cause for such evils. I too have faced such misunderstanding in family and outside, but, am still trying to serve the Lord hoping that He will protect us if we are sincere in our thoughts and actions.
If there is fire, we must pour water, not petrol. So, if the people in your circle takes your involvement in devotion negatively, you should neglect them with strong and decisive mind. Only if you respond or behave as if you are affected, they will increase their gossips. If you neglect them, they will stop one day tired of NO REACTION.
(AFTER COMING TO DEVOTION, I HATE MARRIAGE AND LIKE TO SETTLE IN THE TEMPLE. CAN I DO SO? READ HERE!)
Dog is the best example. If a dog barks, you should not run. If you run, it too will chase you. If you don’t care it, it will bark for a few seconds and stop it.
Let them follow any god or concept in devotion. Let it be. You change them with your balanced approach.
This is the solution. In the life, in many circumstances, NOT DOING ANYTHING ITSELF WILL BE THE BEST SOLUTION.
Follow this. They will learn lessons one day. So, you protect yourself by being CALM just as a spectator.
(2) Now, Let me explain the things to be corrected from your side:
There is another side to this issue that I have to mention here.
Many boys and girls start to hate this material world and other people when they involve seriously in devotional practices. So, the parents feel that they have almost lost their son/ daughter to the temple / spiritual organization they are following.
Some devotees start to think that they only are fortunate and brilliant and their non devotee family members and others are ignorant. Some times, they openly tell this to their parents and others. The parents start to feel that their son/ daughter is speaking against them only after starting to follow the devotion. So, their ego wakes up and they start to object their children going to temples.
(Why people become sanyasis though Krishna has advised to perform our assigned duties? READ HERE!)
I have seen many boys and girls with this mindset. In fact the purpose of my preaching itself is to guide the devotees in balancing material as well as spiritual life.
If a person starts to follow serious devotion and then hates his/ her parents, how the parents will encourage their children to follow the devotional practice seriously?
In fact, a devotee should approach the surrounding people with kindness and speak to them in a responsible manner. But, Some devotees think that Only Krishna is honourable for them, and they need not honour any other person.
Why do they differentiate Krishna from His Parts and Creations? When we honour Krishna, we should honour His creations also. Krishna says NOT TO ATTACH WITH MATERIAL THINGS. He did not say to hate this world. Only attachment should be avoided. Showing a merciful approach to others is not the attachment. We are expected to perform our duties with a detached mindset. Detachment does not mean hating and deserting other people and things. How can a devotee hate any person or thing if he has the realization that everyone and everything has the source as Krishna?
I too have an experience. A woman devotee was coming to the temple regularly and heard the lectures attentively. One day, her husband came to the temple in the middle of class and called her and took her to home.
(My Parents do not allow me to go to ISKCON. What shall I do? READ HERE!)
From the next week onwards, that woman devotee did not come to the temple. She one day called me and told: “Prabhu, My husband do not allow me to visit the temple.”.
I visited her house and spoke to her husband.
He said: “Sir, I am not against the temple or Krishna. I am not an atheist. But, my wife has changed a lot after starting to come to the temple. She always praise Krishna and always engaged in Puja, but, she stopped speaking soothing words to me. She tells that she entered into the marriage ignorantly and she started hating me. In fact, I never scolded her and I have been a responsible husband. But, she is not even helping the studies of our child, but is always doing something related to Krishna. So, I stopped her from going to temple, because, I like to see my family intact”
I agreed with the feelings of that husband. I told him: “Yes, you are right. The mistake is with her only, not with Krishna or temple. A devotee should not hate others and escape from assigned duties. All of us are the parts and parcels of Krishna. So, if she hates anyone, that means, she is hating Krishna Himself. Don’t worry. I will advise her accordingly. Hereafter, she will balance the family and Krishna properly. ”
After that I advised her in detail and indicated her mistakes. Though she has been a very dedicated devotee of Krishna, she has failed to balance the family and devotion, ie, Krishna Consciousness.
Let me give the extract of advices given to her by me, to you also here:
(1) You can not perform the devotional practice without the support of your family. So, you must ensure their support.
(2) If you love Krishna, you must love His parts and parcels also, ie, your parents and others. Even a dog is to be respected as Krishna is living inside it. Then, how hating non devotees be justified?
(HOW A DEVOTEE SHOULD TREAT KRISHNA AND HIS DEVOTEES? READ HERE!)
(3) To perform Krishna Consciousness, you NEED NOT SKIP YOUR FAMILY LIFE. You can remain within your family, but, without attachments. If you talk to your family members (parents) with love and also excel in studies and job, they will be very happy and support your devotion.
(4) Therefore, study well, score top marks. If you have completed your studies, try and get a good job, work sincerely/ effectively and earn well. This will make your parents happy. Spend a part of your earning for preaching about Krishna and distributing books or donating to the temples. Thus, you can purify your earning.
Instead of skipping the job itself, going to the job and helping the devotees and needy people is better. If all of us skip our jobs, how the temples will function without money? So, skipping material activities is practically impossible and we need not skip our jobs or studies. Just involve every activity in the service of Krishna. Then, your material activity will be spiritual.
(5) While doing the studies or jobs sincerely, involve in chanting, offering food to Krishna and honouring His prasadam, offering flowers, aratis, etc to Krishna at home. If you perform the Krishna Conscious practices without hating non devotees and without quitting the studies/ job and also by being kind to your parents, relatives and others, they will not comment against your spiritual involvement.
(10 POWERFUL TIPS TO CONTROL ANGER THAT AFFECTS EVEN THE DEVOTEES! READ HERE!)
(6) Remember this fact. Many parents object to send their child to temple because they fear whether their child will not marry and become a sanyasi. This is a natural fear. They fear like this because, some boys and girls start to speak negatively about this material life when they start to practice devotion to Krishna. But, you should remember that SANYASA IS NOT BODY ORIENTED. IT IS RELATED TO MIND. If you dress like a sanyasi and involve in sinful acts secretly, it is not sanyasa. But, if you physically remain with your parents and family following four regulative principles, chanting, etc, and your mind dwells in Krishna Consciousness, it is real sanyasa packed with devotion. So, keep your body for your family and engage your mind in Krishna. Thus, you can be a sanyasi even within a family.
(7) Krishna says in Bhagavad Gita that the lust, if followed without violating the advice of scriptures also represents Him. Leading a grahastha life as per the grahastha rules is also brahmacharya as said by Srila Prabhupada.
(8) Another point: Just because I adviced you to be like sanyasi within the family, you should not speak hatred words about this world to them. Speak to them with love and do all the household duties meant for your family and also involve in Krishna Conscious Practices (saadhanas) in such a way that your family can not accuse you that you are not taking care of them. They will be obliged and compelled to co-operate with you.
(Is Grahastha life Impure & Inferior? Can a Grahastha go back to Krishna? READ HERE!)
My advice went like this.
That wife to whom I gave tips for balancing devotion and material life started to act as per my advice and her husband stopped objecting her going to the temple. Now, they are very happy and the husband too has started to come to temple along with his wife.
This is the way of dealing with devotion/ Krishna Consciousness. Since many devotees are hating non devotees, they do not get the support of their family and friends for their devotional/ Krishna Conscious Practices.
So, my advise to you is: Practice Krishna Consciousness and also perform all your family related duties properly thinking of Krishna in mind. Also speak to your surrounding people with kindness and ensure their support for your devotional practices without commenting against it. Hating non devotees is not a good practice.
If you do so for a few months / years, your parents and also the surrounding people will be attracted with your way of life of beautifully balancing material and spiritual life and they too may start to follow the devotional way of life.
Hope you are now clear why Hating non devotees and praying to Krishna to punish them is wrong.
(Does more involvement in devotion affect the studies? READ HERE!)