Family Problems and Depression while following devotion. What to do?
(1) Hare Krishna Prabhu.. I am associated with ISCKON since last 3 years….I am observing Ekadashi, chanting (can not do 16 Rounds), attending kirtan and offering Prasad to the Lord Krishna in my home. I m with my wife and a daughter 8 years….they are too becoming Krishna Consciousness … Prabhu ji…. I am facing lots of difficulties in life… though I have faith in Krishna…to guide me and protect me from all such problems….but most of the time …I get disturbed….let me share my problems with you…. 1. My life is totally unstable 2. I entered into a business with my friend…..but he cheated on me. Still my money is lying with him…. 3. My parents and my family are staying separate causing me financially unstable 4. My sister who is a widow facing lot of difficulties and remains worried 5. I have purchased 3 plots …two are in dispute and our lands in my Village are also disputed by my other brothers.. 6. Due to instability and worries, my wife made abortion in 2012 for our second issue….now we want to go for a child (Boy)….is there any chance as per my Horoscope ??? 7. Few years back, as advised by one astrologer, I am worshiping ..Kalasarpa Yantra in my home…due to RAHU & KETU….. should I continue ..as I have kept photo of Lord Jagannath, Narsingh Bhgaban, & Krishna and been worshiping Lord Krishna & Jagannath in my home…. 8. I am now working in …………. but not getting the pay fixed as per my last salary in Navy as I m a retired defence person and is there any further business I can Ventured into as per my Horoscope 9. When can I be able to make a new house ? Prabhu ji.. please guide me ..what should I do ??? Hare Krishna …
(2) From another devotee:
“Since months i am not being able to trust anyone, even if i meet a geniune and good person I can’t trust them, i feel they have some motive and want to harm me mentally or physically, I don’t even share my pain, or problem with my friends, as i feel all are namesake relation in world, and secondly whenever i see or hear someone talking about extra-martial affair or cheating their partner, i get irritated and start abusing and feel as if have gone through this pain, don’t know these days I can’t trust anyone and even warn my Mother not to share any problems with anyone and even if something good happens I don’t share it with anyone and warn my Mother also not to share, as i feel someone will harm us or do something bad to us like casting black magic, and 1 more thing on my left wrist there is a deep cut mark near my nerves, if anyone sees, they feel i mite hv tried to commit suicide, bt in this birth ihv never even tried to gv up my life till date, i try to control my pain, and when i cant, i cry front of Krishna to get relive from pain, bt this mark on my left wrist near my nerves is causing me alot of unanswered Question, as i feel i mite hv tried to commit suicide in my previous birth, plz help me to come out of this pain and confusion state. Jai Shree Krishna.
One more thing to add, as i am not been able to trust anyone, i feel that i mite have been cheated, or may be I have done some wrong doings in my previous birth, as i am not been able to trust any1! plz Help me to sort out my confusion and pain! Jai Shree Krishna!!”
You should change your mindset to come out of such problems. Let me tell you how.
Actually, you have developed an opinion about this world and stick to it. But, the world is not like that. So, you get agitated.
Yes, it is true that three fourth of the people in kaliyuga is selfish, cheating, and with confusions. But, there are good people also. There are so many devotees who are selflessly doing service to the Lord. Though we are different in concepts, there are good people in every religion. In every religion, there are a section of people who find peace in putting their full faith in God.
The problems faced by you are faced by many people in this world. Only the range is different.
Where there are properties, there will be issues too.
Where there are material relatives, there will always be misunderstandings, cheatings, betrayals, selfishness, etc.
If you expect the materials and material relations to be fully cooperative to you, you will become upset.
No one would like to give up his rights and ego. They will always try to acquire the benefits from whatever source they get.
Even among the brothers and sisters, we are seeing property disputes in many families.
We have seen in the news that a son kills even his father to get his properties soon.
Haven’t you heard killings to get insurance amount?
If you search for purity in material relations, it is like searching for water in a desert or expecting mercy from a starving lion.
The people are starving for opportunities to make themselves big in adding more and more materials.
Thirst of wealth; Thirst of fame; Bundle of ego; Selfishness, etc.
This is the real face of many people in this kaliyuga.
We should learn to proceed further bypassing all such anarthas of this material world.
We should sincerely perform all our assigned duties and also follow devotion feeling pity for such selfish people.
Let anything happens. Be unaffected by them mentally. Because, Krishna cleanses you to get you back to Him. That is why, even sincere devotees are suffering more.
We should not hate anyone in terms of religion, race, status, character, etc. We should not be affected by their activities. However, you should learn to convince yourself that this world is the mix of good and bad people and we should be careful in dealing with the people.
Therefore, be just a spectator in this world and don’t involve yourself in any affairs of this material world for your own satisfaction. Do only the activities that will help you to learn, earn and maintain your family life. Do all these activities to satisfy Krishna.
When you centre Krishna in all your activities, you will bother only about pleasing Krishna. So, you will not fight hard to please people. Because, you can never please all the people. Everyone is from different background and influenced by different kind of people. So, if you expect others like you, you will miserably fail in your judgement.
If you associate with 10 people, atleast 3-4 people will cheat you. Just because of that, you can’t stop associating with the people. You must convince yourself that there are 6-7 good people and they will help you.
Above all, You should believe the concept of Karma. You would have hurted some people in your previous births upsetting them. That is why, you become upset by many people in this birth. So, if you are cheated or betrayed by anyone , learn to bear that as it is good for you. Because, Krishna has cleansed you in this matter. Since you are cleansed by being given such painful happenings, stage by stage, you will become free from negative happenings.
Kunti Devi prayed to Krishna to give only difficulties for her. Because, only if she gets more difficulties, she will always think of Krishna. This is the mindset of devotees. They take everything as the mercy of Krishna.
So, have friendship with the people with the mindset that there are both good and bad people and anything will happen and you will take whatever happens as the mercy of Krishna to cleanse you.
Krishna is cleansing you. So, thank him. Stop thinking deeply. Don’t expect ONLY POSITIVES in life. If you had done only good acts in your previous births, you would have taken birth in heavenly planets. As you have done both good and bad in your previous birth, you have taken birth on earth.
Because, this earth is a karma bhoomi. We take birth here to face the reactions for all our previous acts. So learn to realize this reality and find happiness by understanding the purpose of our life and facing the problems as a spectator.
If you go still closer to Krishna by following the devotional practices like chanting sincerely and more, you will learn to neglect such disturbing, cheating and other negative people in future.
Start chanting more and forget the pains. Offer pujas (worship) to Krishna and offer Him bhoga daily. Take only prasadam. Associate more with the devotees and try to reduce the company of highly materialistic people.
Find peace by spending more time with the devotees/ vaishnavas. There are heavy crowd in cinema theatres that bind us in this painful material world. But, we do not fully utilize such temples that help us to purify from our previous karma by teaching the saadhanas and processes.
Within a few months, you can notice that you are leading a blissful life in the midst of pressing problems. You will learn to know to deal with the problems as a spectator, not the doer.
We are not the doers. We are just instruments in the hands of Krishna. He only is giving such problems based on our previous karma and hence you are purified by Krishna.
If one faces more problems, that means, he is getting purified. Only if one is purified from the karma, he can go back to Krishna.
Hope you have understood this.