I have no interest in material life after following devotion. What to do?
Two Questions from two devotees:
Hare Krishna Prabhu. Pranam. I like how you handle personal queries. I thought to ask my query. Prabhu, after coming in contact with Krishna consciousness i feel so much detachment that i don’t balance my personal life. And this thing i have seen with some devotees also. The thing happens is we don’t do our prescribed duties. Thinking that we are doing devotion and other things are just material.
hare krishna Sir, i need help…………every thing is messed up in my life, used 2 Be sad From couple f weeks, dont know what to do with life, i lose all the happiness, hopes that lies in me, i m not like this, erlier i have positive attitude towards life,towards my dreams……but now, i feel that evrything has lost…… i am an enginrng student (2nd year) , hav too many back Logs, I dont find any interst on this but find interest in computer aided designs…i was not like this type of students,in school i was a sincere about my studies, but now i don’t find any kind of interests on this things…
This kind of frustration or emptiness comes at times for every devotee, if they do not make themselves busy throughout the day and are inviting unwanted diversions. This is the problem for you and many.
Lord did not say to take sanyasa and lead a frustrated life. Where is it said so in Gita? Lord emphasizes these three things:
(1) Never skip your assigned duties.
(2) Perform your duties leaving attachments to results.
(3) Skipping just attachments and performing our duties is better than skipping the duties itself because no one can remain without working.
These lines are interpreted according to the convenience of preachers.
Of course, Only if we start to lose our interest in material things, that means we are advancing in Krishna Consciousness.
Just an example. You have a child. She is playing with you happily and both of you are enjoying the play. Then, your wife’s brother, say, the child’s uncle comes to your home. What will that child do? She will leave you and and start to play with her uncle because uncles are more special for any child than parents.
Only if she leaves, she can play with uncle.
A boy is very attached with his parents. One day he marries a very beautiful and selfish girl. She gives him more pleasures and speak magical words. So, he starts to give less importance for parents and that wife brain washes him to admit the parents in old age homes. The boy also does that to be happy with his wife. Why this happens? Wife is more attractive than parents.
Thus, in this life, we get more attachments with the most attractive things or persons. Only if we lose the less attractive thing, we can get the best thing.
Even the creations are like that. The moon is bright only when the sun is below the earth. When the sun comes out, the light of moon goes. Why? Sun light is brighter than moon light.
Same applies in Krishna Consciousness. Material things are temporary. Whether you allow or not, we are going to lose all our kiths and kins. One day, we are going to leave this world leaving all the properties and cash that we had tirelessly added throughout our life. So, though this material world seems attractive, it is not eternally attractive and less attractive compared to the most attractive Krishna. That is why, when we meet the most attractive Krishna, we lose interest in other temporary attractions. This is the indication for our growth in devotion.
But, the point to be noted is that: This detachment should not turn into hatred. This is what happening everywhere. Many boys and girls start to hate even their parents after coming to Krishna bakthi. This is absolutely wrong. Lord never advices us to hate anyone or anything. So, a matured Krishna devotee should love everyone equally without partiality.
WHY SUCH FRUSTRATING THOUGHTS ARISE?
Maya is very powerful that she diverts us towards attractions whenever we keep our life free without any assignments or we think excessively.
Most of the people fail to engage themselves in schedules throughout the day and remain in unwanted thoughts.
These unwanted thoughts make them involve in unwanted activities.
Such unwanted activities invite unwanted problems.
Such unwanted problems create unwanted confusion.
These unwanted confusion cause unwanted frustration.
These unwanted frustration cause unwanted emptiness and laziness.
These unwanted laziness make us uninterested in any activity.
That is why, you have been feeling frustrated without any reasons.
During the age between five and 21-23, we have a major assignment of completing the studies. So, we have to concentrate only in studies during those days. As we can not do the same work all the time, we must engage in useful and productive activities in between the studies.
What can you do in between studies or works?
If you concentrate in movies, TV, story books, chatting, etc, they will never satisfy you. Though you feel temporary satisfaction for some time, in due course of time, you will feel emptiness because material means of getting satisfaction gives emptiness at the end.
Example is Western countries. In those countries, many youth had the facilities for all kinds of material enjoyments such as wine, pleasures, money, comforts, etc, etc. They enjoyed everything. Still they did not feel satisfaction and thought what next? They did not get any answer. So, they started to lead a confused life as hippies and were on the roadside always in drunken state.
So, we are now clear that materials can not give us a feeling of complete satisfaction. Then what?
Then, Srila Prabhupada entered west and gave Krishna Consciousness to those hippies. They recovered from false dreams and found a real satisfying one – Krishna Consciousness.
Now they are engaged in serving Lord Krishna and they are enjoying that real and eternal bliss.
Usually, many persons lose interest in their life ONLY BECAUSE they expect their life to go in their expected path only. If the life runs contrary to their expectations, they become frustrated and lose interest in life.
That is why, almost all avatars and acharyas say that the cause for all the problems is our desires.
Usually, we do not expect negative results in our actions. We always expect success only. How is it possible?
So, we have to learn to expect negatives also. Our every material action is bound by our past karma. So, either success or failure will happen based on our pending karma in that aspect.
Only if we involve in the service for Krishna, we will get definite success. Because, working for Krishna is not bound by karma.
So, if we need to face only success, we have to work for Krishna. Since you have been working for your benefits and pleasure, your actions are bound by karma.
In another angle, you would have involved in materialistic way of life and enjoyed it until you came across devotional life style. Once you got access to this devotional life style and writings and preaching, you might have lost your interest in materialistic way of life.
However, this loss of interest is unnecessary. Because, Krishna says in Bhagavad Gita, unless we work, we can not even maintain our body. So, we should never lose interest in working. Since we can serve Krishna better only if we have good earnings and life, working efficiently is also a service for Lord.
Work efficiently , earn well and spend a part of earnings for the service of Krishna. And, do only permitted duties and avoid prohibited activities. Follow disciplinary rules. Offer sincere worship to Krishna every day. And , chant Hare Krishna as much as possible. Thus, you can earn and live without much difficulty and at the same time, you can satisfy Krishna also.
This way of life will rejuvenate your interest in this life. When you live for Lord and also maintain yourself through working efficiently, you can feel your life very blissful and beautiful.
You have got cleared that you should follow Krishna. So, you have to follow His words also.
In no place, Krishna has said that we should abandon all our duties and worship Him. If you take Bhagavad Gita, the authorized collection of His direct preaching, Krishna has repeatedly advised Arjuna to fight the war as fighting war is the duty of kshatriyas. If He had advised Arjuna to quit and go back, then, your confusion may have some meaning. When Krishna Himself has advised us through Arjuna, to do our duties without attachment to results and as a service to Krishna, we have to follow it.
We have many duties. We have to study material education to earn and take care of ourselves. If not, who will feed us? So, we need to earn, but, thinking of and thanking Krishna.
As Krishna advised Arjuna to fight effectively, we too need to perform our duties effectively without any confusion. If Arjuna does not fight effectively, he can not succeed in war. This is understandable.
This shows that we have to WORK WITH SINCERITY AND EFFECTIVENESS. Only thing we have to follow is that we should work for Krishna and hence without attachment with what we will get in doing our duties. Just work as effectively as possible. Krishna will give something and accept it as the prasadam of Krishna.
Very simple to follow. So, I hope that you will work effectively in life keeping Krishna in mind, and without having any confusion about the advanced concepts of devotional way of life. All the people can’t follow the devotion in the similar pattern. It should be customized according to his background and work pressures. Such concepts will always exist. We only have to settle with the most logical concept and continue our following that concept.
Love Krishna, Respect all His creations, live for Krishna and work for Krishna.
Your life will be very meaningful and you will also take care of day to day duties without dilution.
DEALING WITH THE HATRED IN MARRIAGE:
Same applies for marriage. Many even avoid marriage because of this loss of interest in material life. We need to marry to maintain this social order and to serve Krishna because Krishna has given birth to almost equal number of males and females.
So, you need to marry to continue to serve Lord as a family man. You need to get children and give a new devotee to Lord.
Has Lord spoken anywhere that a devotee should not marry? If it is His intention, He would have told this at any place in Bhagavad Gita. He spoke about everything, but, He did not touch the topic of marriage. But, He says that If we lead a life with spouse that does not violate sastras, Krishna says that He represents that regulated KAMA also. That means, a regulated life within marriage is encouraged by Krishna. We should not get addicted to lust and we should not use it just for pleasing senses, but, we should use grahastha life for producing good children and develop them as devotees of Krishna. If you follow this, you are in fact giving a new devotee for Krishna. So, Lord will be happy. Do not produce animal like children. That’s all.
Unless one has the karma of NO MARRIAGE, he/ she should marry. How to know that you have no marriage at all? If you try all your level best for a good spouse, but, you never get one even after your age of 40-45, you can remain a bachelor. But, you should lead a disciplined bachelor life. Being unmarried is not a licence for indulging in uncontrolled violations.
So, if you get a good spouse, marry and start a grahastha life. Atleast take sincere efforts for marriage. if your karma permits, your marriage will happen. Accept it.
Hope these detailed tips help you.