Will hating the family and performing devotion please Krishna?
Actual Question from a male devotee:
“Everyone says that we have some responsibilities towards our family, relatives, our teacher etc. But in the 2nd chapter of Srimad Bhagwat Gita, it is said that the affection towards these relationships is our stupidity. It this what is written in Srimad Bhagwat Gita.?”
Bhagavad gita advises you TO AVOID ATTACHMENTS ONLY, NOT THE PEOPLE. This is how people misunderstand Bhagavad Gita and start hating the family for performing devotion.
Hating parents is a cruel act for any normal person. It is a psychological issue. Only the cruel persons will hate his mother or father (If we take both of them are well disciplined). Though they are offensive, one need not hate anyone, but see them mercifully.
(Why Krishna engages us in material trap and expects us to come to Hm? READ HERE)
Yes, you have to take care of your family also, including parents. FAMILY is needed for a peaceful society. If there is no family system in this society, there will be chaos. So, while performing Krishna Consciousness, take care of your parents, wife and children also. Because they are helping you in your devotional practices. So, we have to honour them.
Though they are against your devotional way of life, take care of them because they gave you this life.
Mathru Devo Bhava; Pithru Devo Bhava. This is the verdict of the scriptures.
A man has duties for his parents too. In SRI Sampradhaya, a person is allowed to take sanyasa only after 50 and only after marrying and leading a grahastha life as per the varnashrama dharma.
Because, he is expected to complete his duties for his family, parents and children.
(CAITANYA’s BOLD ADVICE FOR BALANCING DEVOTION & FAMILY! READ HERE!)
After stabilizing his family to a certain level and after entrusting his wife to his children, he is allowed to take sanyasa. Thus, the SRI Sampradhaya follows the Varnashrama system correctly. They do not allow direct sanyasa in this cruel kaliyuga. I appreciate this system if we consider the trend of this kaliyuga. As the varnashrama dharma is strictly followed, there is no remarkable fall downs from sanyasa in Sri Sampradhaya. Because, he has crossed Grahastha ashrama and hence he would have lost his attachment to KAMA. So, he is able to follow sanyasa steadily.
So, such duties to the family members must be sincerely done till they get stabilized. If we escape from family duties, there will be chaos in this planet everywhere. Everyone will be acting as he wishes and there will be no control in the society.
So, in the name of spirituality, particularly, Krishna Consciousness, do not hate grahastha ashrama in which you have to take care of your parents and family. Do this JUST AS YOUR ASSIGNED DUTY AS A GRAHASTHA without ATTACHMENTS.
Only attachments should be avoided. Not the people. You should never hate anyone, as we are living in a society. We need all people.
(How can a woman serve Krishna in a non-cooperative family? READ HERE!)
Some concepts will be interesting only to talk/ discuss/ preach. But, they will not be practically possible for all. So, be practical. Do your duties to your parents also.
I ASK YOU: Leaving your parents in Old Age Homes, if you do even 64 rounds of chanting a day, what will be the benefit out of it? How do you expect that Krishna will be happy to see you keeping your parents in Old Age home just to undergo Krishna Conscious practices?
Why should we be that much cruel? Why can’t we treat our parents as the creatures of Krishna and hence protect them? Didn’t Krishna love His parents when He was in this earth?
So, never leave your parents on streets for performing devotion. I myself took care of my parents. Though my father died when I was 15, I took care of mother till she died in the age of 90 with love but without attachment, ie, without expecting her relation to be eternal.
I am of the firm view that one need not desert his parents for living a Krishna conscious life. Only those who have finished all responsibilities for their parents and family should desert the home and settle in mutt or temples. Till that, follow devotion at home itself. Just keep your mindset without attachment like a sanyasi. Then do devotional practices. This will work out well instead of hating family structure that is vital for the peace in society.
(I feel shy to follow devotion in front of my family members. What to do? READ HERE!)
You have also asked about Guru (teacher). if you fulfill the orders of your guru, that itself is the great service to him. As Srila Prabhupada did. Though his guru had passed away, he fulfilled his guru’s wish of preaching K.C all over the world.
Why do I always write against deserting the family for performing devotion?
Because, in this matter, I like to quote what Sri Ramana Maharishi said about leaving the family for devotion:
“INSTEAD OF THINKING OF FAMILY BEING IN THE FORESTS, THINKING OF GOD BEING IN THE FAMILY IS BETTER”
Wow! Print the above quote in a paper and paste it on the door or wall in your house or temple.
Do your duties towards your guru (teacher) even from within the family.
Hope this reply helps you to learn whether hating the family and performing devotion please Krishna or not.
(Why Krishna wants us to desert everything, but He wears rich ornaments? READ HERE!)