15 tips to avoid loss of interest in studies and life because of devotion!
“……………………… Das” asked like this:
“i have a sister. she is a student of class 12 she started her devotion life about 2 year…she want to be detached for that now she feel depression, lost her interest in work… now she can’t do anywork because of depression or lost of interest…we visit to a pschologist bt that also not working now there is only way to help her that is your councelling
she don’t want to read, taking care of her health etc… always always sitting with a gloomy face..she lost her interest now she want to do everything bt she can’t do bcz she feel not good or any peace of mind and physically she also weak
how to get back the interest in her life??? now she can’t do any service of krishna bcz of the illness she also want to feel nice when she doing seva of krishna plz help prabhuji her life is going to be hell pls help as soon as possible
i feel very bad for her pls help prabhuji
we all know that without being krishna conscious no body can be happy so pls help my sister how to she can be krishna conscious in this state of mind”
Prabhu. I have been writing in my media that concentrating more in SERIOUS devotion during the student life may affect the studies and psychology if not balanced properly.
Now, let me customize my reply for your sister.
Krishna Consciousness is the topmost level of following devotion.
In many other sampradhayas, there is no such strict rules and recommendations. They can do job as full time and follow devotion in part time.
In Krishna Consciousness, the recommendations are such that they require our concentration throughout the day and our life style itself is changed totally.
A devotee following Krishna Consciousness is not like other devotees. He gradually grows and later involves totally in the devotional way of life.
Because only Krishna Consciousness insists more on material detachment. No other path insists this much.
So, the way we see the life and seen by others will have vast difference.
We gradually lose interest in material life.
It affected my business too. More material detachment means more hatred in the animal like life.
Another aspect to be noted is: If one is following Krishna Consciousness, it will be very difficult for him to do material duties efficiently because of this loss of interest.
That is why, considering the seriousness of this issue, I have been writing more articles and replies about balancing devotion and material life.
This is the only and major issue faced by the devotees.
The following four are the major side effects of following serious devotional life:
(i) Loss of interest in marriage life;
(ii) Loss of interest in studies;
(iii) Loss of interest in job and business;
(iv) Loss of interest in mingling with the outer world.
Unless the balancing of devotion and the above four is not known, the leading of our day to day life itself will become difficult.
Loss of interest in marriage can be corrected by marrying a similar devotee groom/ bride.
Loss of interest in business can be corrected by working well and spending for the service of Krishna.
Loss of interest in mingling with the outer world can be corrected by making them as devotees through preaching.
Loss of interest in studies should be corrected by following these 15 suggestions:
(i) Do not give exposure to advanced concepts of Krishna Consciousness during the studenthood till the age 20. Because, they will lose interest in studies of they know the temporary nature of material life.
(ii) During studenthood, follow just chanting 4-8 rounds daily. That is enough.
(iii) Do not insist on avoiding ice cream, chocolates, till her 20 years of age. Just avoid them at home. If she happens to have outside from friends, let it be. Let her follow restrictions after 20.
(iv) If she does not get coffee, tea, etc at home, give her the best alternative like delicious milk flavoured with jaggery, palm sugar, etc.
(v) Insist on four regulative principles. It is compulsory.
(vi) In case she takes food outside any day with friends, just advice her politely. Do not punish or threaten her. Insist on these things after 20.
(vii) Do not curtail her being with school friends. She needs some relaxing moments since she is studying hard.
(viii) She need not visit the temple very often. If she sits with you in the common class that preaches advanced concepts, she will show much interest in that way of life instead of studying well.
(ix) Always advice her to study well and only then she can help the service of Lord. If she does not study well, she may have to suffer for money in future and she can not help the services to the Lord. Studying and working is not prohibited in devotional way of life. Anyone in any status can follow devotion. Tell these points to her repeatedly. This will encourage her.
(x) Tell her that devotional way of life can be seriously followed after getting a job. Till that, let her do her duties perfectly with just chanting as a devotional practice.
(xi) Take the Xerox copies of the third chapter of Bhagavad Gita alone and give to her. Ask her to read them repeatedly. Other chapters can be learnt after 20. This third chapter will make her to study well.
(xii) Since she has to develop soft skills, ie, employability skills like communication also while studying, do not insist her to have friends only from devotees in school. She may not get one since Krishna Consciousness may be followed only by one among 1000 students in a school/ college.
(xiii) This age is the age of harmones that will be making her senses agitated. In this critical age, she will be fighting between senses and devotional way of life. A 40 years old woman can control senses immediately. But, for a 15 years old girl/ boy, the harmones will be very powerful and hence her development of hatred in material life will negatively affect her psychology because of the reverse attack of senses.
(xiv) Therefore, let her follow ONLY chanting for the next 3 years. You and other senior members follow devotion seriously. Let her little bit free. Let her have friends of good character (though not devotees). Let her go to shopping with friends. Let her play games with them. Let her have group study with good friends in your home itself. Let her wear whatever decent clothes she likes to wear.
(xv) Behave to her like a young brother and friend that will boost her. Speak to her cutting jokes. Allow her to watch comedy channels. Allow her to be free at home without too much of advice and restrictions. These small relaxations can be allowed till her age 20. After that, her harmones would have stabilized. She can follow tough practices of devotion without much disturbances of senses.
My above reply is not intended to relax the rules of devotion. Since we like our children to shine in studies, job, etc, we need to wait till they complete the studies to take the devotional way of life seriously. This will prevent such psychological effects. Some devotee children may not be able to realize the greatness of devotional way of life and hence may feel inferior comparing them with the outer world. Once they cross the age of 20, they will be able to feel the greatness of devotional way of life.
Till that, allow her free with limited restrictions. Feed the devotion more and tighten the restrictions once she complete the studies. She will take it positively.
Since she has been upset with the above mentioned fighting between devotion and senses, if you follow the above advice, she will be alright in the next 6 months or one year.
This will definitely free her psychological block.
Hope you are clear now.