Will Krishna accept Bhakti if we desert parents to stay in temples?
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare krishna prabhu ji i have a doubt please clear it as per our vedic scriptures say that the heaven is in d feet of d parents serve d parents that will lead to the way of goloka bt y people go to the temples n avoid serving to there parents does lord happy with those person who serve only in temple n forget abt there parents is it right to take sanyas without thinking of parents what will happen after if a only son or a daughter take sanyas. Is it right to take sanyas by leaving the lonely parents behind them. Sory i dnt want to hurt anyone’s feeling. Its just a doubt which is occur in my heart plz clear that doubt om harihar
REPLY:
It depends on the situation of the parents. If a person seriously likes to serve the Lord by staying with the other devotees or in ashrams, he must ensure the following:
(1) If he leaves in young age even before marriage, He should have brother (s) who assure him that they will take care of the parents though he leaves home. If the parents have him as the only dependent, he should not desert his parents and settle in temples. If he does so and his parents suffer in life and die pitifully, he will not get the blessings of Lord.
(Full time Service in temples by married devotees – Who can choose? READ HERE!)
(2) If he leaves after marriage, he must ensure that he has son(s) who have grown up and are earning well and they will take care of their mother (his wife). If he has no son and has no one to protect his wife, he should not desert the family and settle in temples. If he does so and if his wife suffers in life and dies pitifully, he will not get the blessings of Lord.
(3) If he marries and deserts his young wife though she is a good and innocent girl, it will not invite the mercy of Lord. If the spouse is not ready to cooperate with his devotional practices, he has to silently bear the pains as his karma and desert her after his age of 55 after keeping certain assets for her maintenance.
(4) The Scriptures say that a husband should desert his wife only after keeping sufficient assets for her to protect herself after parting her husband. And, As per the Varnashrama dharma, a husband should desert his wife only after his age of 55 and after entrusting his wife to the sons and leaving sufficient assets for wife.
(Should a devotee marry or not to marry or settle in temples? A-Z Tips! READ HERE!)
(5) Many devotees violate this brilliant advice of Varnashrama dharma and give the reason that Krishna Consciousness is not bound by Varnashrama dharma. My question to them is: Does Krishna Consciousness allow us to destabilize the “family system” that is the safe arrangement for the peace in the society? So, do not give reasons. Varnashrama dharma is the best arrangement accepted by all sampradhayas.
Be a brahmachari initialy and learn Krishna consciousness. Then, marry and lead a traditional grahastha life. After 50 retire from sex life. Then, IF U WANT, YOU MAY LEAVE GRAHASTHA LIFE AND BECOME A SANYASI AFTER 55 ONLY IF YOU HAVE ENTRUSTED YOUR WIFE TO THE SONS AND ADDED SUFFICIENT ASSETS FOR WIFE.
This is the recommendation. Try to follow them. And, one can remain a sanyasi even from home because sanyasa in heart is more important.
Many Krishna devotees convince themselves using some quotes and with the strength of such tiny quotes, they desert their helpless family and parents and settle in temples. I can even say that many boys and girls come and settle in temples just because they FEAR TO ENTER INTO MARRIAGE LIFE AND LIKE TO LEAD A FREE LIFE WITHOUT BONDAGE.
Some others are lazy and hence do not like to go to the jobs and hence they like to stay in the temples as they need not work hard. However, a section of devotees come to stay in temples out of genuine reasons and after doing their duties to their family.
If they settle in temples out of fear of marrying and facing life and work hard, it is ESCAPING FROM THE WORLD AND GETTING THE ASSYLUM OF TEMPLES.
(Why the women are not recommended to take Sanyasa? READ HERE!)
The temple managements should thoroughly enquire the family situation of the devotees who like to come and settle in temples. And they also should meet their family members and get their no objection statement. Only after these stages, a temple should admit a devotee as a full time devotee. Nowadays, the temples start to follow this practice.
If that devotee has responsibilities for parents or spouse or children, the temple managements should suitably advise him and send back to home and advise him to be a visiting devotee for temple. Just because we need the hands to manage the affairs of temples, we should not allow whoever comes to stay here.
We, the devotees and the temples should not remain as a cause for destabilizing family set up in the society. This is my advice to all.
Follow sanyasa from home itself.
PHYSICALLY BE WITH YOUR FAMILY. MENTALLY BE WITH KRISHNA. THIS IS REAL SANYASA.
If you have no dependents at all, no barrier to join and serve in temples.
TAIL PIECE:
One devotee asked me once: If I settle in temples to serve Lord, won’t the Lord protect my mother?
I replied him: “The Lord usually do not come directly. That is why, the Lord gave birth to us. So, we have to follow the cooperation with others. Who said that one should bring his family to the road for settling in temples? The Lord wants us to act wisely. He has already helped your mother by giving you to her. If you too escape, is it not the violation of social order?
So, Only if you have no responsibilities, settle in temples. This is my view. Because IF THE FAMILY SET UPS COLLAPSE IN A SOCIETY, THERE WILL BE ONLY IMMORALITIES IN THE WORLD.
So, Let us protect family system and also cultivate Krishna Consciousness as grahastha based system. So, let us not desert parents to stay in temples!
(GUIDE FOR DEVOTEES: CAN GIRLS AVOID MARRIAGE AND STAY IN THE TEMPLES? A TEST FOR YOU! READ HERE!)