Is it compulsory to avoid physical relations not for child after initiation?
A woman devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji, Dandvat Pranam. My question is related to initiation, I searched all the related posts but could not find a reply hence I am asking it here. Prabhuji, me and my husband are preparing ourselves for initiation. We strictly follow all regulative principles and chant 16 rounds. I wanted to ask if physical relations with the husband are completely prohibited after taking initiation? Is there any such strict rule that after taking diksha you can have physical relation with the husband only for child bearing, otherwise not? We have 2 kids and we won’t plan for a third child so wanted to know if we should completely leave the physical relations? Please guide prabhuji as our decision on how to proceed with initiation will be based on your reply.”
See, Once you get initiated, it is the new birth and new life for you.
So, take initiation only if you can follow the rules.
It is the highest standard to avoid physical relations not for child after initiation.
If you are not sure that you can not follow the diksha rules, please avoid taking diksha till you become confident that you can follow the rules.
(Avoiding & Repenting for violations with women after initiation (diksha)! READ HERE!)
I did not take initiation in twenties, but only after decades of experience in ISKCON’s way of devotion.
Though I had no physical barriers, I had some other duties and hence I had doubts that I could not follow the rules properly. So, I delayed and took diksha only after I was convinced that I can follow the rules. Because, I was careful that I should not live with the guilt.
In your case, you say that you have no idea to have a child further.
So, you feel that you can never have sex if you take diksha now.
Mating is definitely allowed with regulations to get children and make them devotees. Mating for pleasure alone is to be restricted.
This is the standard expected from the devotees. It is advisable to follow and both the husband and wife should have proper understanding to follow this.
If the spouse is non cooperating, better to delay the diksha.
However, your spiritual master can give you any permission in exceptional, unavoidable cases. But, this is the highest standard expected.
So, my first advice is that you should postpone the diksha till you and your husband attain sense control or naturally retire from sex life.
If you plan to get as many children you are given, and make them devotees, you can mate even after diksha.
If the target is not child, then, you may not be able to follow the advice of mating for child only.
Though some devotees violate some rules silently, I can not recommend you to violate after diksha. It is not good for me.
But, I can honestly advise you to postpone diksha till both of you retire from sex or develop sense control. This is the better option.
(Is Grahastha life Impure & Inferior? Can a Grahastha go back to Krishna? READ HERE!)
This is not a new rule. In fact, all the rules stipulated by Srila Prabhupada were existing in vedic scriptures. Srila Prabhupada simplified them and gave like a capsule.
All such mating rules are existing among the brahmana families already.
Even among other brahmanas, monthly once rule is there.
Onion , garlic restrictions are there.
Meat eating restrictions are there.
Illicit sex restrictions are there.
(What to do if my devotee Husband marries another girl for physical needs? READ HERE!)
Krishna Consciousness is the elevating process.
One should not ride in two horses at a time – Both Krishna and Attachments.
It will not give desired results.
So, wait till you and he attains sense control.
Or, discuss to ensure that you can manage the mating rules without fail and then take diksha.
If you do not approach this issue properly, you can not avoid issues between you and him in future after initiation.
So, do not be blindly emotional. Evaluate your situation and take decision accordingly.
Hope you are now clear about physical relations not for child after initiation.
(No Mating or Mating to get devotee children – Which is good for devotee couples? READ HERE!)