Memories of my past sins disturb my present life. What to do?
Two similar Questions:
plz clear my doubt/problem. the question is “as one man is in three form: 1. u in others view 2. u in ownself views 3. u in true sense. Here in no.2 statement. i am bad. i am disturbed by remembering past sins. each moment past sin overtakes my present new nice thoughts works through which i am depressed and afraid and cant continue my coming moments, days, works, thoughts happily. plz help me sir. i am in great hope that u will try to help me, thank u.
“My question is how to confess my mistake to Krishna? I have committed a very big mistake last year but I am not able to forget it. I am chanting daily. I m living in a place where there is no devotee association.
I know Krishna knows everything but I feel that if I can tell him then I will able to forget it easily. What to do. Please help. Hare Krishna”
Not even a single person can exist in this world who have not committed any offences or sins.
Because, as per the nature of this material planet controlled by maya, everyone will be shown opportunities to commit sins because maya will like to retain you in these planets itself by giving births and deaths again and again. It is the prime duty of maya, ie, maintaining then population and affairs of material planets.
Unless a person commits good and bad karma, he can not be given rebirths.
If he protects himself from karma, he will get elevated from the material planets to the spiritual planets.
Therefore, maya makes all the opportunities available for every person to commit sins or good deeds.
Before we get awareness, we commit offences because of ignorance.
That is why, most of us, why, all of us, commit offences in our life.
Even Valmiki was a thief in his early days. Later, he became a devotee and wrote Ramayana.
Gandhiji, whom we call as father of nation, did secret smoking, lieing, etc. He reformed himself reading the scriptures and led a life dedicated to his country.
We can give so many examples for such offended people who got reformed.
Ok, we have now realized our past offences/ sins. We feel for that. We cry for that.
We like to come out of those offences.
How to proceed further?
Realizing our offences itself is the first stage of getting pardon .
You committed some offences knowingly or unknowingly.
Once you have realized that it is wrong, its seriousness has come down.
Therefore, you will have just formal reaction for that and it can be easily faced by you.
This is like, in courts, the punishments will be comparatively less for those who have accepted their offence/ crime.
And, as far as telling to Krishna is concerned, He knows even your guilty feeling, as He is silently watching all your activities from within your heart.
Therefore, once you realize, it will be known to Krishna.
The best remedy should be the following:
(1) If anyone had been affected by your offence, go to him/ her and seek unconditional pardon from him/ her and get his/ her pardon. This is important.
If anyone had undergone any monetary loss, go to him, and pay the amount of loss along with the interest and get his pardon.
Even Sri CaitanyaMahaPrabhu told his mother to seek the pardon of a vaishnava whom she had hurted once.
Therefore, this action is important.
(2) Whether anyone is affected or not, and if it is the violation of social order, commit yourself that you will not commit such offences in future and follow that.
(3) Go to the nearest Krishna temple and chant a few rounds of Hare Krishna Maha Manthra and then seeing the murthy of Krishna tell this:
“Krishna, I have done a serious offence of …………. out of ignorance and material attachment. I now realize that it is wrong. I am unable to be normal as it is disturbing me. So, I beg your mercy to keep me protected from such offences in future. I assure you that I will avoid such offences in future at any cost. Please forgive me”
(4) Then, to avoid such offences in future and to cultivate yourself, associate with vaishnavas either in person and / or through any other media if you do not have direct association facilities in your place.
You can also visit nearest temple atleast once a week on holidays and maintain the spiritual spirit that can protect you from further sinning.
And associate with Srila Prabhupada through his books and recordings.
Do aratis and Bhoga to krishna every day.
Thus, you can engage yourself in the service of Krishna most of the time and avoid offending in future.
If you follow the resolution of not committing offences again and follow all the devotional practices to Krishna, you need not worry for the past offences and you will get immunity from karma.
Remember – Until you are following your resolutions and devotional practices.
Do this and lead a peaceful life without guilt.
All the best.