Dealing with a rude devotee without Vaishnava offense – Best Tips!
A male devotee asked like this:
“why some Krishna devotees are very rude to other Krishna devotee? The devotees do not know that anger leads to destruction of there mind and self? 2nd question is that some Krishna devotee do not have manners n respect to others .is respect and manners a material element? Please do not mention my name because other devotees will know whom I talking about”
Dealing with a rude devotee requires patience and forgiving mind. Do not react and say THANKS and leave that place. If you respond further, it may become serious. Always stop reacting when there is some issue with another devotee.
When we mention the term DEVOTEES, it has three stages of devotees.
(How to deal if we find any devotee committing offenses? READ HERE!)
(1) Kanishta Adhikaris – New comers and just started to practice devotion.
(2) Madhiyma Adhikaris – Improving stage by stage and have some improvement in sense control and devotional practices.
(3) Uththama Adhikaris – Advanced devotees who have reached a satisfactory level in material detachment and the attachment to Krishna. They will be able to see Krishna in everyone and everything.
So, if you take a temple, there will be a mix of all these types of devotees. Just because a devotee is expert in wearing vaishnava dress and symbols, this does not mean, he is a Madhyama or uththama adhikari. These three stages relate to INNER DEVELOPMENT, not just outer appearance that can be deceived.
(Why even small mistakes of devotees are seen as big? READ HERE!)
Even if one is a higher authority with high post, it does not mean he MUST be a uththama adhikari.
Even if one is a nice preacher and speaks nicely over mike, it does not mean, he has attained the uththama adhikari stage.
All of us are just practicing the devotion. That’s all. Everyone has improved to a certain level. One may be good in one aspect and not good in another aspect.
For example, one may speak well in mike, but, he may be a short tempered devotee.
(Devotees should be Humble, Not Coward! – An Interesting Analysis! READ HERE!)
Another may be a calm and humble devotee, but, he may not be expert in delivering speech.
So, You should not expect all the devotees to be humble and experts. Like the outside world, there will be variety of people in the devotional circle also.
Whether they are devotees or karmis, if we touch their ego, they may behave rudely or atleast they will cut our association.
I have never encountered even a single problem with anyone in ISKCON circles in my decades long association with the temples because, I never expect anything from anyone. I go to temples, hear lectures, do some service that are needed at that time, attend aratis, sing nama sankirtana, and return home and try to follow and preach what I learnt in temples, books and experience.
(What if a devotee finds avoiding offences difficult in kaliyuga? READ HERE!)
I never speak anything ill about anyone in temples. So, almost all the devotees like to talk to me because they feel safe while talking to me. They get many tips to undergo devotion and they also learn how to be in ISKCON peacefully and blissfully seeing me.
This does not mean that they have treated me very well. I have seen many politics, immaturity and I too have been pained with such atmosphere in the past. The point is that, none of them could affect my attendance to the temples because my purpose of going to the temple is to learn, not to lead. There are many junior devotees in higher positions. I never shied to learn from them as a devotee should learn about Krishna without any ego.
At the same time, I have close PRIVATE talks with a very few devotees who are in high position of this sathsangha. But, I never used them for getting any favour from them. That is why, those few devotees will feel comfortable to contact me if they need any suggestion because of my neutrality. I will happily give possible suggestions and go for other works.
(Are Brahma, Vishnu and Siva also affected by anger and emotions? READ HERE!)
So, the problems start only if we expect anything even from other devotees. If you like to be a last bench devotee, you will be privately closer to Krishna because the COMPETITION WILL BE LESS IN THE LAST BENCH. The competition will be hectic for higher positions. So, I compete comfortably for last bench. So, I can privately think of Krishna. It is nice. Isn’t it?
You too learn to be like that. Do not bother about Dealing with a rude devotee. Identify those humble devotees and have association with them. Restrict the contacts with others with just Hare Krishna and a smile. Do not speak sensitive topics with them.. Attend the temples just to learn and have sathsangha. Like a school. Srila Prabhupada has given this nice school to learn about Krishna and devotional practices. If we use them only for that purpose, it will not cause any problems.
Thus, you can remain peaceful in any sathsangha.
(How to deal with the erring devotees without Vaishnava Offence? READ HERE!)