10 TIPS TO CONTROL ANGER TO BE FOLLOWED BY THE DEVOTEES!
Actual Questions from FOUR devotees:
(1) A devotee (Name hidden) asked:
I try a lot to follow krishna path but i cant control one thing that is anger. What should i do to control anger?
(2) A Female devotee asked like this:
Prabhuji. I’m a devotee of Krishna and this fondness to Lord has occurred to me recently and I want to follow the path instructed by but my biggest obstacle to achieve this is my Anger and I Don’t know why I am becoming more and more arrogant. I don’t know what to do in order to control anger. Please guide me
(3) A devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Please help please hide my name. As am daily chanting 16 rounds reading B.g and bhagawatam 1 hour doing mangala aarti, Sandhya aarti n offering daily 4 times bhog, daily abhishek to my deities and at night also shayan and I love doing this.
But there is no change in my behaviour. I am a short tempered person. Daily I realize my mistakes and try to overcome them, but could not help myself. why this is happening. I have a daughter 4 yrs old she is very naughty even I also loose patience on her n beat her. my life is good but my nature spoils everything. I know all the solutions but unable to practice on that. Please guide. Please help me Prabhuji. You help everyone. Please guide me.
(4) A girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
When i read bhagwadgeeta, i found my answers. But, sometimes i become very aggressive. Plz hlp me how to control anger , aggression and become relaxed and take a proper decision. Because when i was in aggression i will take some steps which becomes me in those aspects which are unacceptable for me. Don’t mention my name. I am waiting for your ans. Jai shri radhe Kriahna.
Let us see the tips to control anger one by one:
(1) TAKE THE “POSITIVES AND NEGATIVES” EQUALLY:
Expectation is the most important, no…no….the only cause for disappointment that then leads to emotional outbursts.
When we expect something to happen, there are two probabilities only: It will either become in favour of us or against us.
(Are Brahma, Vishnu and Siva also affected by anger and emotions? READ HERE?)
If it is in favour of us, we become happy and joyful. If it is against us, we become upset. Hence, anger, aggression , etc.
Though we read Bhagavad Gita so many times, unless we follow that important advice, we can’t be peaceful.
What is that advice?
Treat all the twins like up and down, happiness and sorrows, loss and gain, etc, equally.
Unless we treat both the positives and negatives equally, we can’t get relieved from emotional outburst.
Here, Krishna wants us to treat both positives and negatives equally. How to come to that stage?
If we have strong faith in the fact that everything in our life is predetermined to happen as per our karma, we can feel relieved all the time.
The problem with the people is that they want only positive results. They forget the other side of the same coin, ie, negative results.
In our life, both positive and negative will happen repeatedly. So, it is inevitable.
Why should we be affected for inevitable things?
We should develop the maturity to face negatives also.
If you have ten co-employees in your company, you should not always expect respects from them. Even the insults may come from them some times.
How can we always have the immunity from the negatives? No one can.
They have to face the topmost negative of leaving this body one day. They can’t stay here forever.
(What are the dangers of the three gunas (modes)? READ HERE!)
(2) BECOME FREE FROM YOUR CONDITIONED STATUS:
We are not the blissful free souls, but, the conditioned souls. When we take a body, we become conditioned. The conditioned souls will always have agitations.
Only if we relieve our mind from such conditioned thoughts and develop material detachment, we can remain peaceful and calm always.
What to do to become free from our conditioned status?
Conditioned status means, having attachments with the material affairs that are time bound and short lived.
Therefore, we have to free ourselves from material attachments.
When you seriously involve in developing Prema for Krishna, you will automatically become materially detached stage by stage with no efforts from you.
When we grow in devotion and love for Krishna, our material attachments naturally come down because Krishna replaces the material things in our mind by situating Himself at all the points of our mind.
(I FEEL GUILTY OF MAKING SHOW AS DEVOTEE. HOW TO CORRECT? READ HERE!)
(3) STOP EXPECTING RESULTS:
Krishna advised us to live without expectations of results.
What is wrong in expecting a particular result?
It is risky. You may choose a lower status than the status planned by Krishna for you.
For example, when Krishna is willing to make you rich like Bill Gates, you will be praying Him to give you an ordinary job. He will not give any job for you as He is planning to make you like Gates. Without knowing this and taking efforts to come up in life, you will be scolding Krishna.
Just sit and review all your past negative events in your life. You can conclude that all happened for a good reason only.
So, just do your assigned duties. Krishna will take care of what, when, and how to give something to you.
Entrust yourself to Krishna and do not care if failures come. Be happy that Krishna is cleansing you from your store of past negatives.
If you face negatives in life, just be a spectator.
This will avoid aggression and control anger.
(If a senior devotee shows anger, is he lacking in Krishna Consciousness? READ HERE!)
(4) Follow what Krishna says in Bhagavad Gita about the cause for anger:
As said by me earlier, to get rid of anger, we should get rid of expectations. Atleast, we should limit the expectations. Or, the best way is to divert your expectation towards the mercy of Krishna. Expect when you will get the mercy of Krishna. This is the only healthy expectation for us.
Krishna says in Bhagavad Gita like this:
When a person thinks of material objects, he develops attachments with them; This attachment gives him lust; The lust gives anger!
(This is the continuity of Sloka -62): Anger gives delusion; Delusion gives Bewilderment of memory; This Bewilderment of memory gives loss of intelligence; Finally, due to this loss of intelligence, one falls down!
But, the person who has controlled mind and has the senses that are free from attachments and aversions, attains his pure state, though seems to be involving in the material acts !
Once that saadhaka (Practitioner) attains his pure state (as explained in the previous sloka), All his miseries come to an end! In such a pure state, his intelligence is soon established in the Paramathma (Krishna)!
One can not have steady intelligence unless he keeps his mind and senses under his control! Such a person can neither have peace not have involvement in duties! Then, how can he be happy without peace?
If a mind focusses even on any one of the senses, that sense will carry away a man’s intelligence , like a wind drives away a boat on water!
Oh, Long handed Arjuna! Therefore, the intelligence of the person whose senses have been controlled from material objects, is STEADY!
Krishna has given the reason for the anger to come. It comes because of attachments with material objects. Only because of this attachment, you expect perfection from others and hence the activities of others affect you. Why do you expect anything from others?
(5) CONSIDER YOURSELF AS A DUST NOT A BIG STONE:
When you think that you have some big identity for you, you become angry when you are not SUFFICIENTLY or FULLY honoured or appreciated and the insults of others affect you.
Only when there is a sizable object as target, the stones thrown by others will fall on that object.
But, if you consider yourself as an insignificant dust, who can attack a dust with a stone? It will not be visible to them to attack.
So, a ‘dust’ is always safe, whereas, ‘big stones’ are always at risk.
(QUALITIES OF A PURE DEVOTEE OF KRISHNA! READ HERE!)
(6) KNOW YOUR REAL IDENTITY OF SERVANT OF KRISHNA:
Don’t consider yourself as a big guy having separate identity detached from Krishna. Instead, Consider yourself as the servant of Krishna, not the servant of your senses. You are expected to eternally serve Krishna, not these senses.
So, stop giving importance for the material desires developed by your senses. Divert your attention towards other productive activities like chanting, having the association of devotees (satsangha), reading the literature related to Krishna, fasting for Krishna, strictly avoiding indiscipline, etc.
When you become the servant of Krishna, without serving your senses, you will not have any disappointments and hence no anger.
(7) BE ENGAGED IN PRODUCTIVE ACTIVITIES:
Just close your ears and eyes for UNWANTED material affairs and concentrate in your studies or work most of the time. Always be engaged in some productive works and never be free.
I too was insulted in the early periods by a certain section of people for being too simple in life. Sometimes anger came when others insulted me because of being very simple. But, I intensified my working schedule and made myself busy. I chanted some extra rounds whenever I faced challenges. So, I never cared such insults.
(Tips for using this human body for Krishna, control emotions and thoughts! READ HERE!)
In due course of time, the same people started to praise me. But, my mind was not affected by those praises also. Since I had installed Krishna in it. There was no space for the unproductive acts of others.
Because, when we stand under the umbrella of Krishna, all the accuses that we receive will not affect us and will be dealt directly by Krishna.
So, best remedy is, stop hearing them and having expectations from them. Only when we expect respects, we get anger when we do not get respect.
(8) GETTING ANGRY IS A WEAKNESS, NOT A STRENGTH:
Getting angry is a weakness, but, usually, it is shown as a symbol of strength. Let anyone insults you or commits any mistakes. If you get angry and scold him, the words act as your boss, because, those words are capable of controlling you by creating some problems.
Whereas, if you don’t get angry and pray for him, it is your strength, as you have not uttered any words and so, you need not fear for consequences.
So, stop expecting respects. Act as genuinely as possible. Involve yourself in the devotional practice and job/ studies. Everything will become alright.
(After coming to devotion, I hate and avoid non-devotee family and others that makes them angry. Why Krishna allows this? READ HERE!)
(9) BE SINCERE IN SURRENDER TO KRISHNA AND ALL THE DEVOTIONAL PRACTICES:
All the above tips are to strengthen your psychology in understanding the realities of this material life.
However, just strengthening the psychology is not enough because, without an alternative but, eternal attachment, one can’t keep up his emotions under control permanently.
What is that eternal attachment?
It is attaching ourselves with Krishna as strongly as possible.
How to develop attachment with Krishna strongly?
By doing penances and sacrifices.
Does Krishna demand penances and sacrifices?
No. However, He protects all those who do not even trust Him. However, He rewards His dedicated devotees who sacrifice their comforts and pleasures as the offering to Krishna, by personally and closely following and elevating them to His Kingdom.
(Is showing anger on Krishna right? READ HERE!)
(10) WHAT ARE THE SACRIFICES WE CAN DO FOR KRISHNA?
Your time. Atleast 10% of time every day. Manage your assigned duties thinking of Krishna in the remaining 90% of time.
This is the best formula that I feel will work out for most of us.
Can’t we spend atleast 10% of daily time for our creator and protector Krishna?
We have to think seriously about this.
Spare atleast two hours for Krishna and follow sincere chanting of His holy names, offering food and honouring Prasadam, worshiping him daily, growing and worshiping Tulasi Maharani, etc.
Most importantly, follow the four regulative principles such as No meat, No gambling, No intoxication and No illicit sex.
Again I say: More attachment to Krishna and Less attachment to material affairs and hence Less chances for having anger, aggressiveness, longing, etc.
Try and tell me HOW COULD YOU CONTROL ANGER.
(HOW TO DIVERT OUR MIND AND SENSES INTO KRISHNA’s SERVICE? – COMPLETE TIPS! READ HERE!)