Why many women married twice or more in the Scriptures?
A devotee asked like this (Name hidden):
“HARE KRSNA.PRABHUJI pls accept my obedience. I have a question according to manu smriti window woman shouldn’t remarry. What about the marriage in the intihaas as RAMAYAN N MAHABHARATA. BALI WIFE TARA married SUGRIVA after VALI death. MANDODARI RAVAN’S wife marrying VIBHISHANA after the deminish of RAVAN. In the MAHABHARATA NALA’ S wife DAMAYANTI announcing her SVAYAMVAAR, well it was an strategy to make MAHARAJ NALA reappear to met DAMYANTI but from other view DAMAYANTI announce her second marriage approve by DAMAYANTI father regarding bodily conception. is it not an atrocity on the window women who must silent suffered her unfulfilled sexual desire also she had been created 9 time more lusty than men. if she is young n alone without any parent, she may also be dominated by the evil person in the society because she is alone, no male to defend her. On other hand, PRAPHUPADA has said somewhere when one’ s wife became pregnant no more sex with her instead if the man had other wife he should approach them for sex in an other way he have the right to fulfilled his sexual desire and the poor widow must remain alone for her desire unfulfilled. Is it not an injustice. pls explain about it according to sastras.
REPLY:
After reading about many women married twice or more in the Scriptures, you have got confused. You have also confused with the Manu smruti that is meant for the common people and the cases (Tara, Mandodari, Damayanti) you mentioned were the Kshatriyas, Vanaras and Asuras.
We need not bother about the violation of rules by asuras and vanaras as they are not humans.
Kshatriyas have been given some extra privileges because they have risky life of protecting the country.
(HOW TO DEAL IF THE “DEVOTEE HUSBAND OR WIFE” IS INTERESTED IN SENSE GRATIFICATION? READ HERE!)
We are advised to be vegetarians.
But, the Kshatriyas can take meat because they need more Rajo guna to keep their body strong.
We are advised to marry only one girl.
But, the Kshatriyas can marry multiple times, and if that Kshatriya is a king, he can marry even hundreds of girls.
Because, many men died in the war and hence there were less number of men than the women in the society,
Similarly, Kshatriyas were given some relaxations in the rules recommended for the common people.
You have forgotten to mention Sri Krishna Himself who was a Yadhava turned Kshatriya. He married 16,108 queens.
Why?
Those queens were in the custody of the King of the Pragyotishpur who was an asura named Naraka. When Krishna defeated Narakasura, those queens wanted to marry Krishna.
(Will Krishna treat all as wife if every soul treats Krishna as husband? READ HERE!)
Thus, Krishna was the leader in this matter of accepting the queens also. Krishna could have refused to marry them, but, those queens said that they would either marry Him or commit suicide. So, Krishna gave them good status.
Krishna never fails to fulfill the wishes of His devotees.
For the same reason as Kshatriyas, the queens / many women married twice or more in the Scriptures.
You again forgot Draupati who married five men who were brothers while mentioning Tara, Mandodari, Damayanti.
She had a genuine reason as said in Mahabharatha.
(Can a girl divorce the drinker & torturing husband after aborting the baby? READ HERE!)
So, if the situation needs or if the Kshatriya men or women required, they were allowed to marry multiple times.
Since the Kshatriyas were dominated with Rajo guna and since they were serving the people taking risks, these relaxations are given for them.
That is why, even in today’s world, the governments sell high quality liquor to the military professionals free and also at great discounts as they may some times require liquor to anti-inflammate their bodies.
Thus, these relaxations are “NEED BASED” and need not be confused as strict rules.
Many women married twice or more in the Scriptures. However, Why common man and woman are encouraged to marry only once unless there is no child for 10 years?
Because the common man can not maintain the multiple wives. Manu says that every man should keep as much properties as needed for every wife he married, before he dies so that she can live without depending on anyone else after husband’s death. If a common man marries multiple wives he can not justify for every wife. But a king can do so many facilities to the queens/ wives.
(Should a wife serve a non devotee husband also? READ HERE!)
And, most importantly, the Kshatriyas have the risky life time and not all men will live till their old age as many men die in wars.
So, do not confuse with the life of Kshatriyas.
Kshatriya dharma tells that a Kshatriya should erase an enemy even when he is just budding, ie, even in the beginning.
It is allowed for them because they have to protect their countries from the enemies.
Can we kill any enemy even in the budding stage? We will be sentenced to death by the courts.
So, rules are different for every varna according to their profession and life risks.
Hope you are clear about why many women married twice or more in the Scriptures.
(What to do if my devotee Husband marries another girl for physical needs? READ HERE!)
TAIL PIECE:
FINALLY ABOUT THE SACRIFICE OF WOMEN. Yes, the women do many sacrifice in their life time. God has given child bearing and maintenance to the women that is a very difficult task. During the child delivery, they even risk their lives getting rebirth. That is why, MOTHER is given the topmost position in the family. Without mother, you can not get even the God. MATHA – PITHA – GURU AND ALL THESE THREE TAKE YOU TO DEIVAM, ie, GOD.
The women are not disturbed during those days of pregnancy so that the child within the womb is not affected in any way. Otherwise, they have lovely exchanges, hugs, care, etc. This itself will satisfy the women.
See, an Indian wife will get satisfied even if her husband buys and brings some flowers for her with love. She wants only the love and care of husband during the days of pregnancy. She never feels for not having pleasures when she is carrying a child. That motherly feeling is greater than pleasures for her.
Why do you worry for her not having pleasures during pregnancy WHEN THE WOMEN THEMSELVES ENJOY THE MOTHERLY FEELING OF CARRYING A JEEVAN WITHIN HER WOMB?
Don’t you know that having s….x when there is no menstrual cycle is not good as per the scriptures and also the physical comforts of women?
So, do not feel for pleasures for pregnant women. Just care her with love. Respect her needs. It is enough for them. These things are based on their private needs. Love and Care are more satisfying than s….x
Always keep this in mind.
(Why Rama had Single wife, but Krishna had 16,108 wives? READ HERE!)