What if the devotee girls reject a devotee boy with a touring job?
Actual Question:
Hare Krishna prabhu ji. I’m a non initiated shri Krishna devotee. I left non vegan diets after realizing shri Krishna’s bhakti, though I’m still non initiated. Prabhu ji my question is that i went to Iskcon mayapur one year ago and there I had a conversation with my aunt that if i marry ever, it will only a shri Krishna devotee. And by luck I found one. I was happy that I got a life partner whom I’ll do bhakti of the lord. I thought it’s all Lord’s will that because I went to his temple and talk about it he gave me this girl.
But things doesn’t seem right now prabhu ji as her parents are not willing to let us marry as by profession I’m a marine engineer and they don’t like it. What to do prabhu ji, I really wanted both of us to marry and do bhakti together and become pure devotees of the lord and always engage our time in his service. I’ve also heard that being krishna conscious it elevates the family members too. I really wanted it to happen. Please advice what’s happening prabhu ji. Doesn’t shri Krishna want us to marry and that’s why he is making her parents react that way? Hare Krishna. Radhe radhe.
REPLY:
This is very unfortunate. Those parents have got confused between Devotion or Job nature of groom. They do not know the value of being a devotee. The parents should give importance for the devotional interest of the groom to the job.
Just because you will have to travel for many days on board the ship, they may hesitate to consider you for marriage.
(What should be the act of a woman devotee after marriage failed twice? READ HERE!)
But, this is unwanted.
Getting a devotee match is a fortunate thing for a girl. So, the girl and her parents should make use of this opportunity.
A devotee girl may feel comfortable to live with a devotee military man. But, she will find it difficult to live with a non-devotee collector (IAS). Because, a sincere girl devotee would not prefer luxuries, but, uninterrupted devotion even after marriage.
In India, there are lakhs of families in which the husband works in the Army/ Navy/ Air force, abroad, etc, and the wife and family live in their home town. They can meet the husband/ father only once in a year for about a month.
If those families do not do such sacrifice, no one can work in Army/ Navy/ Air force, abroad, etc.
Being a marine engineer is not that much difficult because they can meet their families more frequently than working abroad.
They have forgotten an important aspect.
Always being together may become boring one day for a couple. But, If the couples meet once or twice in a month, the love between them actually increases and remain intact throughout their life.
(IMPACT OF MARRIAGE & CHILD BIRTH IN LIFE BASED ON KARMA! READ HERE!)
Anything, even sweets, if used frequently may cause a weariness or boredom or even hatred. Therefore, a ‘meeting-parting’ type of life will always be filled with the undiluted love.
Her parents may not be able to decide whether the Devotion or Job nature of groom – Which is primary for considering a groom.
They should know the greatness of getting a devotee boy for their devotee girl. Because becoming a devotee is a rare thing as said by Sri Rupa Gosvami.
Being the parents of a girl, they may be worried about the future of their daughter. But, they should give importance for the character and devotional styatus of the bride/ groom.
The weakness with most of the parents is that they always prefer a groom with a 10-5 job.
This is not possible now a days. The employers expect productivity from their employees.
The boys and girls too are looking for challenges in their career. They do not like boring 10-5 jobs.
(You advise early marriage. What to do if planets delay the marriage? READ HERE!)
The parents should understand this trend of today’s youth.
I have an example within my family itself.
My sister admitted her son in Computer Engineering. He completed. My sister expected him to go to I.T Companies.
But, he had a goal of going for army as an officer.
He attended the written exams (NDA) and succeeded in his first attempt itself.
Then, he succeeded in the interview also.
Then he became an army officier and was earning very well with a job satisfaction also as he was serving the country by performing a challenging service for his country.
There was a girl who had an idea of marrying only such a boy from the country’s security services. She happily married him.
Then that boy got retirement and he is now working in a major company. Now, they are living happily. He is happy because of her cooperation.
(I do not get married though I am a devotee, but, my cousin, a non devotee is to get married. Why? READ HERE!)
My sister wanted him to work in an I.T company. He was looking for a challenging army officer position.
Since he got his dream job, he worked with absolute dedication and grew fast in his service.
This is the good trend of today’s youth.
We can not understand them, but, they are very brilliant and they always like to work with job satisfaction.
Therefore, being a marine engineer is your chosen job and the girl and her parents should know the value of that job.
Therefore, someone should explain her parents properly.
Since that girl chose to marry you, she herself can explain her parents.
Or, if she does not know how to explain, she may request any of her influential relative(s) to explain her parents about the greatness of getting a devotee guy.
(Is it good for a girl devotee remaining unmarried instead of marrying a non devotee boy? READ HERE!)
You yourself can meet her parents boldly and give them the assurance that you will keep her responsibly and your touring job will in fact help her perform her devotional practices more conveniently.
If that girl is strong in her a decision of prefering the devotional status of the boy, her parents will consider her views seriously. Advise her to be maintain her position.
Or, you can show this reply to the girl and her parents through her.
If they read this, they may understand the reality.
Now a days, getting a good devotee boy or girl is a blessing of Krishna.
If they are fortunate, let them recognize you and accept you.
Hope for the good turn of events and pray to Krishna for this good cause of serving Him together with a devotee wife.
My advice to the devotee girls is that they can give some consideration though the boy has touring or challenging job, but, he is a good devotee. Because those who have 10-5 jobs are less in number compared to those who work in touring and other types of jobs.
Just try to convince the parents of that girl by explaining your positive aspects including interest in devotional way of life. Let her too insist her willingness to marry you. Even the manager of your nearby ISKCON temple too can help you if they know you well by explaining the advantages of marrying a devotee boy t5hough he has touring job.
If they are fortunate to marry you, they will marry. If they don’t agree even after this much of efforts, just find another girl whose parents agree to your job.
This world is wide with 5 billions of girls that may have lakhs of devotee girls.
Before coming to this decision, try your best, but don’t lose your peace and respect for a girl if her parents are adamently refusing to marry their daughter to you.
Hope you are now clear what to do if the devotee girls reject a devotee boy with a touring job.
Best of luck.
(My mother is worried since I like to marry only a devotee with good habits. What to do? READ HERE!)