My family does not cooperate in my Krishna Conscious practices. What shall I do?
Actual Question from a women devotee:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji! Pranam .. This is my question to you, kindly guide me. I am Krishna devotee, Is it far in my part that my family is not at all interested in Krishna, as far as my husband is concerned, he is not even interested to worship Demi Gods.. This make me very upset, he is fully influenced by his mother who is following ……………………….., from Chennai..(plz don’t mention name when you post)..they are against deity worship, only 5 mnts meditation, but they worship their human Guru,.. Every festival, from Ganesh puja to Pongal, nobody take interest, only me do puja arrange everything for puja, he used to come for Arthi and did pranam, nowadays that too missing,.. Sons are watching their father, grandmother, they also not showing much interest!. As if I married non Hindu!. Recently, Pongal came I was so sick, with great difficulty I went to mkt and bought things for Pongal,..next day I become very sick so I couldn’t do puja!. Nobody bothered.. it’s make me angry, they don’t observe Sharad also to his father.. Only solace is my kids attend Arthi when I do, infrequently fill their minds about worshiping God, and about Srila Prabhupadaji, never he said I am God worship me, he said I am your guide, etc.. so my son’s mind my Mother in law could not pollute ! ,(thanks to Krishna). As a devotee, my wish is my husband should given up his fake guru philosophy, I tried many times, but unable to convince him.. Root cause is his mother, if she is going to fall in a well water, let her, why she is pulling her son also?. I know both of them going in wrong path, I want to save my husband, ! Kindly guide me what to do,. My Mother in law is above 70 leading materialistic life, only 5 mnts meditation, that too she could not able to reply whom you are concentrating on meditation! Eat eggs!. Hari bol! I feel pity on.her!. I want to save my husband at least .. plz guide me Prabhuji!.. ( plz don’t mention my name)
Not only your husband and family. The whole world is running behind money. So, those who speak of Krishna and dharma, etc are ignorant in the view of the world.
Only those who have more money are respected in this world. Others are neglected. Now a days, this world is involving in consumer culture. More and more products coming to the market daily, targeting the earned money of the people. Every day, news papers and televisions are inducing the people to increase their comforts. So, those who have more money add more comforts. So, they are respected more by others.
This SPENDING culture is very dangerous. Unless there is a FAMILY CULTURE, there will be lavish spending and hence there will be no savings in the country. As there are no joint families, the elders are neglected. So, the government has to spend for maintaining the elders as done by American government that spends billions of dollars for maintaining the elders and supporting unemployed.
In brief, in America, the government is doing what an individual should do. As the family fails to protect the elders, the government is protecting them using public money.
Thus, this world has started to see the ILL-EFFECTS of money culture. Everyone should realise that money can not bring everything.
As far as your family is concerned, I request you to remain as a silent spectator of their ignorant activities, without any attachments! Because, they will try to be happy materially and one day, they will realise that they can not attain real happiness in this material world. Then, they will understand you and praise you.
Experience will change them. Some people who do not have more anarthas take Krishna Consciousness instantly. You had less anarthas and hence have taken Krishna Consciousness easily. But, they have more anarthas and hence they will lately understand the need for Krishna Consciousness in future.
You have to wait till that. Though it is difficult to bear partialities, you should compare yourself with those who are struggling more than you. You are in better state because you are struggling from within a house and you are in a safe atmosphere.
But, there are crores of people in this world who are struggling on platforms, even without a shelter. Every day is problem for them.
So, learn to bear these ignorant people. Mean time, keep on telling them about Krishna Consciousness though their realization is delayed. If you seriously practice Krishna Consciousness without losing the hope, it will gradually change them when they meet more and more problems in their life. They will realise that their money could not solve some problems.
One thing is sure:
Your family members will not become Krishna Conscious immediately, since they are highly materialistic and they will consider Krishna Consciousness as a separator of relations.
Whereas, If you continue to remain a Perfect Krishna conscious devotee and also respect your family members and also continue to perform all the assigned duties, your family members will also become Krishna Conscious stage by stage gradually. Not suddenly.
So, the point is, the materialistic people will not respect and follow the words of devotees unless they are blessed by the Lord. If a devotee beautifully balances both family and Krishna Consciousness, then, the family members will slowly start to appreciate his/ her balancing involvement in devotion and hence they too will be changed in future.
In my case, I was not very serious in vedas and Devotion in my childhood. I would go to temples and pray for passing in the exams, or to make the school declare holiday on that day. I had no serious interest in vedic reading. But, I was observing my father. He was very strict in following vedic rituals and chanting and singing Lord’s names. He even performed rituals in his dieing condition also. I was very much impressed with his sincerity and genuinity with which he was performing the vedic rituals lieing on the floor though he had calculated his horoscope that he is going to die on ekadasi. This dedication made me a good devotee after the death of my father.
Thus, my father did not compel me to follow K.C, but, he lived as a good person and devotee. He knew that his children will get impacted with his activities.
Same happened. As he was sincere in words and actions, we automatically became devotees and responsible children without much difficulty.
So, our activities itself is a good preaching for others. That is why, all scriptures advise us to have saadhu sangha. If we are in the association of devotees, their activities will create impact in our activities. So, we too will become devotees.
So, continue to improve yourself further in devotion and act as a responsible devotee. Mean time, keep on requesting them to visit the temple with which you are associating. Give them satsangha, the association of devotees. If they do not come for satsangha, you act as a satsangha to them. It will definitely change them one day – as I changed on seeing my father and mother.
Devotion is a natural process. But, definite process also. It can’t be imposed forcefully.
They will naturally get that fortune one day. It may happen in days, months or years. Till that, lead your life patiently keeping Krishna within the heart.
All the best.