Feeling lonely by being a devotee in the family of material people! Tips!
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
Hare Krishna Prabhu, After I started reading BG and chanting , I can see changes in me over a period of time. Before I didn’t know some qualities belong to ignorant people and some passionate, goodness and all. Now, people whom I feel they are good and close to me…. I have started seeing bad in them ..in sense the way they speak to elders, too much materialistic, their behavior, habits and all. I am not feeling comfortable. They are my family and friends Prabhu. I don’t have association of devotees also. I feel I am only different in my association. doesn’t mean I am too good. but I feel scared, insecure and lonely to be in this kind of association . I am scared to see this world. I want to overcome to see this tendency of seeing bad in others. I do not know how to overcome this . Plz give me some suggestions Prabhu.
REPLY:
I appreciate your honest submission. Yes, it is true for a section of devotees.
This is the greatness of our counselling service in Krishna Consciousness as the devotees open their heart with different types of their genuine feeling while following Krishna Consciousness.
Just speaking the rules are not sufficient in devotion. There may be thousand devotees to speak about the rules, but our media has the Unique Glory of helping the budding devotees by counselling for their practical problems and feelings.
(What is the solution for my brother hating family after becoming a devotee? READ HERE!)
This issue of Feeling lonely by being a devotee in the family of material people arises only for the FIRST GENERATION DEVOTEES.
For the first generation devotees, he/ she will be the ONLY person who becomes a devotee from among the materialistic family surroundings.
These first generation devotees are like Roses that blossom from the Mud.
It is not that much difficult to become a second or third generation devotee since the parents and family are also the devotees. So, the second and third generation devotees will not have any barriers in becoming a devotee and following the devotion. They have a satsangha, ie, association of devotees for all the 24 hours in the family itself.
Since I am from a traditional South Indian Vedic brahmana family, I had no serious issues of surrounding people being materialistic. They were not the followers of ISKCON as when they grew, ISKCON did not exist at all.
(How can a woman serve Krishna in a non-cooperative family? READ HERE!)
However, they were the devotees of Vishnu and Shiva and hence I had a devoted brahmana atmosphere. So, I could follow Krishna Consciousness without such barriers of materialistic family.
But, your case is different. You are the only person in the family who has come for serious devotional thinking that makes you Feeling lonely by being a devotee in the family of material people.
When you are chanting, others will be chatting loudly seeing you like an odd person out.
When you are taking soft vegetarian Prasadam, they will be biting the chicken or mutton.
When you are going to the temple every week, they will be going to the cinemas, shopping, etc.
When you are hearing the kirtans, they will be hearing Rock music.
Yes, you will definitely feel lonely and as if singled out.
I think that you do not have satsangha nearby to your house. In case it exists, please visit the temple/ center every Sunday and take satsangha.
(I feel shy to follow devotion in front of my family members. What to do? READ HERE!)
If there is no temple nearby, you can tell the temple president in the nearby city to open a Namahatta center in your area/ town. He will definitely do that as every temple is focusing in opening practicing Namahatta centers in every small place.
Till these things happen, have regular participation in the good forums and media that promotes Krishna Bhakti. You can comment in our facebook Page and twitter page also. The devotees may take part in meaningful discussions in the comments that may make the devotees feel being in a group of devotees.
Above all, Even your whole life is insufficient to read the available scriptures on Krishna. When you read the books of Srila Prabhupada, you are connected with him through Vani.
If you read my writings, I am connected with you. In fact, I feel fully connected with our devotees and they alone are my family members. I have developed such feelings. That is why, I could remember every devotee who commented just once in our media even in the year 2011.
Remaining connected does not mean we should be physically present. Now, all of us are connected thru Vani. I feel that. Do you feel that? If you do not feel, it means you were not as sincere as me in considering other devotees like our family members.
(What if my family accuses my following Krishna Consciousness? PART-1! READ HERE!)
We should live as communities, not like odd man. If a husband works in a foreign country, his relationship with the wife in his home country still exists. His love increases when he is away from his wife.
Because Vani link is stronger than vapu (direct) link.
How?
Because in Vani, the feel of separation will also be there.
The position of Radharani and Gopis is the greatest because, after Krishna left them and went to Mathura, all of them felt Krishna deeply in Vani association.
Srila Prabhupada is still vibrant in expanding his mission though he has left this earth because he still exists as vani.
So, if you are feeling lonely by being a devotee in the family of material people, that means, you are thinking that only physical association is compulsory.
(What if my family accuses my following Krishna Consciousness? – PART-2! READ HERE!)
In this technologically developed world, there are hundreds of devotees helping the devotee community to remain connected thru phone, computer, etc.
Of course, direct association is very essential. Take it whenever possible by going to a city where the devotees group in the temple or center. On other days, maintain vani association with the genuine devotee forums and media and feel as if being with the devotees.
I too take direct association with the devotees 4-8 times a month only. But, since I consider all of you as my family and associates, I do not feel lonely. In fact, I am effectively following the technology to remain connected with Krishna and His devotees. Hence I grow and all of you are growing. This is the nice arrangement of Krishna.
Similarly, be active in this site and our social media pages and the other genuine media. Deal with others without talking personal matters. If you start to discuss personal matters with the fellow devotees, fall down may start as all the persons are vulnerable to commit offences as said by the scriptures.
Hope this guidance has helped you for your Feeling lonely by being a devotee in the family of material people!
(CAITANYA’s BOLD ADVICE FOR BALANCING DEVOTION & FAMILY! READ HERE!)