What if my family accuses my following Krishna Consciousness?
A frustrated male devotee has asked like this on condition of anonymity:
“Prabhuji… I’m currently facing lots of problems in life.. Mainly at home.. With goodness I suggest and talk about god n how to attain him but everyone is taking it in a bad way n I’m like an enemy now.. My ways and all are opp to their belief.. If I tell them, then they are getting angry n conversation erupts into fight.. After coming to Krishna consciousness, life is not easy to live at all prabhuji.. I’m doing many things for Krishna.. Like controlling senses.. Not eating non veg.. Am trying to love him and devote myself to him.. Am changing for him.. I know Krishna notices it.. But I feel like running away from everyone n go somewhere.. Prabhuji I feel alone. I believe Jagannatha is the true friend.. Why is he silent of my situ n suffering? What will he do prabhuji?
When golden age of kaliyuga ends n influence of kali strengthens I can’t even imagine how it will be.. I know as a devotee of Krishna I should not be afraid n have faith in him n do my activities.. But I’m just a neophyte devotee with just months of involvement in Krishna consciousness.. My faith is steady but I couldn’t face the difficulties of life.. Am Still not in proper job.. I think one but something else happens.. All these things make me difficult to live.. I don’t know how to survive tmw daily.. Bec I’m singled out.. Am the odd man here.. It’s like I’m mental.. I’m trying not to get angry but it’s difficult.. I’m controlling myself strongly every time.. But pain is killing me prabhuji.. I’ve cried enough.. I know my suffering is bec of my karma.. But y ocean of mercy is making me cry daily??? Sometimes your posts give me knowledge n will power too to overcome thoughts which will make me fall away from Krishna. I don’t want to live.. I have no desire to live now.. But I can’t die.. This will only anger god more n I’ll be deprived of lords mercy.. That’s y am not killing myself.. I don’t know what to do prabhuji..
Someway or the other I wanted parents to come out of ignorance and realise their purpose of this human body n birth.. I’ve failed prabhuji,. To have peace in house I’ve to keep everything within me n follow it. I can do many things quietly and beg god to shower mercy on them so that in next birth they also realise like me.., .
Prabhuji I am messaging you bec I feel lighter n good. Prabhuji your association is giving me confidence. Pls I beg you not to stop the service you are doing for God to help the conditioned souls like me. You are also one of the reasons for being strong n dedicated devotee of radhakrsna. When I came to chennai I couldn’t associate with devotees more. At that krishna introduced you to me prabhuji.. for this I have to thank radhakrsna. Jai Sri Prabhupada! Haribol!
I have a doubt about sound vibration form of god,, could you please tell me about it and chaitanya mahaprabhu is combined form of radhakrsna. Is sound vibration form of god combined form of radhakrsna and balarama? Bec krishna and rama is coming in it.. Hare is energy of god ie radha. They say holy name of god is the most merciful than anything.. already mercy avartars are there.. thats y I wanted to know prabhuji.”
Actually, you are thinking that all the devotees are following Krishna Consciousness with the support of family. Nearly 3/4 th of the people, particularly the first generation devotees, are following amidst the non-support of their family only.
Even Gopis did not get the family support to DIRECTLY associate with the Lord. They had to escape from family and then associate with the Lord. Even in this century, Srila Prabhupada himself did not get the support of his wife. His wife sold the copies of Srimad Bhagavatham of Srila Prabhupada and had snacks and coffee in that amount. So, Prabhupada left his family.
So, even the great souls have struggled with the family for doing Krishna Consciousness. What to say about you and me?
Some of my family members said long years back: “This boy is going behind Krishna without knowing the seriousness of this world. Will his Krishna feed him if he fails in business?”
What happened? Krishna only stabilized my business when I was struggling in life. Now, they are telling: “Only his strong faith in Krishna Bakthi saved him from disasters!”
Usually, every materialistic parent will like to see his children earn well and lead a normal life with wife and children. If you do that, they won’t object you. Some young devotees speak harshly to the family after coming to Krishna Consciousness. So, they fear whether this guy will become a sanyasi and leave them. So, it is our duty to create a confidence in them.
That is why I am crying to all since the beginning of my preaching service like this:
(1) Following Krishna Consciousness does not mean leaving your family and routine works. You can undergo it even while you are doing all yr household works.
(2) Study well, perform in interview and tests effectively, go to a good job, earn well and first make your personal life self sufficient.
(3) Remember many of the devotees in spiritual sathsanghas are still rich in status and they are all involving in Krishna Consciousness. They have not donated all their assets for doing Krishna Consciousness. They use for their family and also for the service of Krishna.
(4) Instead of depending on the temples for food and shelter, you can do a good job and donate the temples and help for the shelter of other poor devotees.
(5) Earn well, but, do not become addicted to money and opulance. Spend a part of your earning for the service of Krishna. That is enough.
(6) Be a normal son for your parents. Do not show yourself as distinct from them. Embrace them and also perform your devotional practicies.
(7) I can’t understand how Krishna Consciousness practices can disturb your relation with family. You are going to chant Hare Krishna privately. None is disturbed. You are going to go to the temples on sundays only mostly. None is disturbed in that.
(8) No one is going to stop you if you follow 4 regulative principles. Which parent will object their son if he follows discipline? None will. So, it is easy to follow 4 regulative principles. So, follow.
(9) Only thing for which you may have to get the co-operation of family members is Taking only prasadam. If possible offer possible food stuff for Lord. If not possible in your family, offer fruits to Lord. When you marry a devotee girl later, offer everything for Lord.
(10) If your family cooks any item with onion and garlic or non veg, do not take it and gently say Sorry. Then, you can take other available items like dhall, curd rice, plain roti, etc. As you are south indian, you will be comfortable even with curd rice that is a popular dish in Tamilnadu and south India. You can even offer curd rice daily for Krishna. He will be happy. He needs just some leaves, fruits, water, etc. No need for variety or costly things when it is not possible for you.
(11) If they compel and if you are interested or induced by the senses, marry a girl. But, select a suitable girl taking time. Talk to her before marriage about all your preferences and ensure her cooperation.
That’s all. What is the problem for you in doing these things? Some devotees feel that performing Krishna Consciousness is a difficult task and it requires going away from all others. They also think that they have to become enemies of family members because of different life styles. My advice is to follow devotion without showing any major changes in you. Let the changes be internal.
A Krishna devotee should see everyone with mercy. So, he has to accomodate with any kind of situation. He must be prepared to be Krishna Conscious even under the fire.
So, be one among the family members. Silently practice K.C. Be loveful to your family members. They should feel that K.C has not made any deviations in the activities of their son.
And, a Krishna devotee is not alone. If you strongly love Krishna, you will not feel loneliness though the whole world deserts you. Do you know, there are many devotees who severely struggled to establish Krishna Consciousness in the iron land of Russia? They are continuing their services there though their temple was demolished.
ISKCON itself can be taken as an example. Every temple/ center in ISKCON has been established out of the sole efforts of the local devotees without getting the financial assistance from the headquarters. Srila Prabhupada said that every temple must take care of its own resources. So, every temple took pains in establishing Krishna Consciousness in that area. Did they feel lonely? If they had felt so, how can such a big number of temples would have come now? They are preaching in their area to please their guru and Srila Prabhupada. So, one should not feel lonely in Krishna Consciousness because, Krishna is always with them giving directions.
So, hereafter, be normal and perform Krishna Consciousness normally adjusting with all your family members. Also academically equip yourself and try for job effectively. Clouds will be cleared soon. Be hopeful.
Your last question: Yes.. Krishna and Radharani are non different. Krishna always includes Radharani. So, Hare Krishna in which Hare is Radharani and Krishna is Krishna. Instead of saying Krishna, when we say Hare Krishna, we include the energy of Lord Radharani also. So, such sound vibrations are very effective.
So, Chant Hare Krishna and Be happy.