Serving Krishna in a non-cooperative family – Tips for Women!
A woman devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji! Prabhuji my single request to u please guide to women devotees with ur posts too. As we all are athma nd equal devotees of Krishna but still being a lady we have so many differences in which we hv to manage. plz guide us how they need to be good devotees. As a lady we have to manage our professional and personal life to managing our work as well as home with our parents nd siblings (during unmarried) and with our husband, kids, in-laws (after marriage) it is difficult to manage with the balance of personal (family nd working) responsibilities we have and with the spiritual responsibilities we have. We cant able to forget any of them. Being a lady its our responsibility to take care of our families and husband, kids nd Krishna too. plz let us knw how to manage? (In the early morning i have lots of work to do at home nd i want to attend and get Radha Krishna also ready with good clothes and bhoga and aarti and chanting coz i cant chant along with work properly Along with so its a problem for me where sometimes i lose my temper and cry alone dat i am unable to make my family happy nd cant able to give time and please Krishna even after so many efforts nd create a arguing scene in a our family becoz of me, sometimes during puja i hv to work for family and along with that do puja as u mention dat after 9,9:30 v should not do a morning aarti so i want to get Radha Krishna ready nd do everything as like v want to ready nd b/w dat it cant able to finish properly nd work occurs i dnt knw y bt i feel upset nd angry coz i really want to do everything on time bt before dat i want to give smtime to Radha Krishna coz of dem i wake up early bt i cant able to manage my time nd a peaceful morning gets spoiled coz of me)
even we want bt still cant able to complete 16 rounds of chanting even after wake up early in the morning. Time management v try to do bt sometimes it becomes a issue in the family so for their happiness and peace at home we need to compromise with sorry to God wid a heavy heart nd choose family
We have to have meal with onion and garlic outside the home when someone invites for dinner or lunch
REPLY:
First we should know that we, particularly, the women should serve Krishna to their level best considering our family situation.
You have written about the difficulty in performing arati to Krishna. Arati need not be done for long time. You can simply finish it in just five minutes.
(A-Z TIPS TO FOLLOW AND AVOID BY WOMEN DEVOTEES DURING MONTHLY PERIODS! READ HERE! )
As far as offering food is concerned, if your family uses onion and garlic, keep separate utensils to cook them and separate knife to cut them. Do not cut onion/ garlic using the same knife used for other stuffs.
And, keep a separate utensils for onion and non onion preparations. Thus you can manage if avoiding onion/ garlic by others is impossible.
You may cook for them with onion and garlic to avoid criticism from them, but, keep the preparations separate. You take only those things that have no onion and garlic after offering to Krishna.
Give the food with onion/ garlic to others without offering to Krishna. When they see your difficulties in doing these things continuously, they may request you to cook without onion/ garlic for them also.
You can also try making delicious recipes without onion and garlic and attract them. You can use more nicely cut gabbage in the place of onion and more asafoetida in place of garlic.
(HOW SHOULD WOMEN LIVE PERFECTLY AS PER THE SCRIPTURES? READ HERE!)
If you visit the parties or relatives, take only those things that is allowed to take from others. Eg: Milk, fruits, curd rice, etc. Openly tell them that you have skipped onion and garlic for Krishna and you take foods only after offering to Krishna. Do not hesitate to convey this practice to others. If they really care and respect you, they will arrange separate things for you.
See, these restrictions are not new. Already the brahmin community people do not eat in other places including hotels. This practice was once followed seriously by the brahmins. Now, a part of them take in other places because of the effects of kaliyuga. But, these rules are existing for 1000s of years. Srila Prabhupada did not introduce them. He nicely and effectively renewed already existed rules of brahmanas among ISKCON devotees. So, you need not hesitate to say NO for food in the houses of friends, relatives and functions.
And, minimize the party culture and nothing will be lost if you avoid public parties. There is a wonderful party in ISKCON temples every sunday. That party is 100% suitable for you and that party will help you to go back to Krishna Himself by giving required encouragement and support to practice Krishna Consciousness.
(What if Satisfying Krishna affects satisfying family members? READ HERE!)
Moreover, do not treat your family members like untouchables. They too may have helping tendency and we may need their support any time in life. Have cordial relations with them.
You need to clearly tell them that you will not interfere in their devotional practices and they too should not comment against your practices.
If you do not have sufficient facilities to cook satvik foods for Krishna, stop with offering fruits and you manage with available foods without meat, onion and garlic.
Perform chanting, worship, etc., whenever you have free time in the afternoon or evening. Some members of family will go out some times. Use that gap to chant and worship.
(Why Arjuna blames only women, not men in Bhagavad Gita 1.40? READ HERE!)
Just keep thinking of Krishna and praying Him to free your situation suitable to manage the services to Him. He will arrange.
The morning time Brahma Muhurtha, etc., are recommended only for those who have suitable atmosphere in the family to practice as they wish. For others like you, they can practice at any time you find in your family and chant any number of rounds as per the available time.
Whenever you have more time to practice more. When you have less time, practice less. This is the way of Serving Krishna in a non-cooperative family!
Krishna will understand this unavoidable reasons from your side.
The purpose of all the devotional practices is to make you think of Krishna all the time. So, if you can keep Krishna all the time, that is enough. Follow the sadhanas whenever possible.
But, always keep Krishna in mind as Gopis did. It is more important.
Hope you are clear now about Serving Krishna in a non-cooperative family!
(DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE FOR MEN AND WOMEN – VERDICT OF INDIAN SCRIPTURES! READ HERE!)