How can a woman serve Krishna in a non-cooperative family?
A woman devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji! Prabhuji my single request to u please guide to women devotees with ur posts too. As we all are athma nd equal devotees of Krishna bt still being a lady we hv so many differences in which we hv to manage. plz guide us how they need to be good devotees. As a lady we have to manage our professional and personal life to managing our work as well as home with our parents nd siblings (during unmarried) and wid our husband, kids, in-laws (after marriage) it is difficult to manage with the balance of personal (family nd working) responsibilites we have and with the spritual responsibilites we have. We cant able to forget ny of them.Being a lady its our responsibility to take care of our families and husband,kids nd Krishna too.plz let us knw how to manage? (In the early morning i have lots of work to do at home nd i want to attend and get Radha Krishna also ready with good clothes and bhoga and aarti and chanting coz i cnt able to chant along with work properly Along with so its a problem for me where sometimes i lose my temper and cry alone dat i cnt able to mk my family happy nd cant able to give time and please Krishna even after so many efforts nd create a arguing scene in a our family becoz of me, sometimes during puja i hv to work for family and along with that do puja as u mention dat after 9,9:30 v should not do a morning aarti so i want to get Radha Krishna ready nd do everything as like v want to ready nd b/w dat it cant able to finish properly nd work occurs i dnt knw y bt i feel upset nd angry coz i realy want to do everything on time bt before dat i want to give smtime to Radha Krishna coz of dem i wake up early bt i cant able to manage my time nd a peaceful morning gets spoiled coz of me)
even we want bt still cant able to complete 16 rounds of chanting even after wake up early in the morning. Time management v try to do bt sometimes it becomes a issue in the family so for their happiness and peace at home we need to compromise with sorry to God wid a heavy heart nd choose family
We have to have meal with onion and garlic outside the home when someone invites for dinner or lunch
First we should know that we, particularly, the women should serve Krishna to their level best considering our family situation.
You have written about the difficulty in performing arati to Krishna. Arati need not be done for long time You can simply finish it in just five minutes.
(A-Z TIPS TO FOLLOW AND AVOID BY WOMEN DEVOTEES DURING MONTHLY PERIODS! READ HERE! )
As far as offering food is concerned, if your family uses onion and garlic, keep separate utensils to cook them and separate knife to cut them. Do not cut onion/ garlic using the same knife used for other stuffs.
And, keep a separate utensils for onion and non onion preparations. Thus you can manage if avoiding onion/ garlic by others is impossible.
You may cook for them with onion and garlic to avoid accusations from them, but, keep the preparations separate. You take only those things that have no onion and garlic after offering to Krishna.
Give the food with onion/ garlic to others without offering to Krishna. When they see your difficulties in doing these things ccontinuously, they may request you to cook without onion/ garlic for them also.
You can also try making delicious recipes without onion and garlic and attract them. You can use more nicely cut gabbage in place of onion and more asafoetida in place of garlic.
(HOW SHOULD WOMEN LIVE PERFECTLY AS PER THE SCRIPTURES? READ HERE!)
If you visit parties or relatives, take only those things that is allowed to take from others. Eg: Milk, fruits, curd rice, etc. Openly tell them that you have skipped onion and garlic for Krishna and you take foods only after offering to Krishna. Do not hesitate to convey this pracctice to others. If they really care and respect you, they will arrange separate things for you.
And, minimize the party culture and nothing will be lost if you avoid public parties. There is a wonderful party in ISKCON temples every sunday. That party is 100% suitable for you and that party will help you to go back to Krishna Himself by giving required encouragement and support to practice Krishna Consciousness.
Otherwise, do not btreat your family members like untouchables. They too may have helping tendency and we may need their support any time in life. Have cordial relations with them.
You need to clearly tell them that you will not interfere in their devotional practices and they too should not comment against your practices.
If you do not have sufficient facilities to cook satvik foods for Krishna, stop with offering fruits and you manage with available foods without meat, onion and garlic.
Perform chanting, worship etc, whenever you have free time in the afternoon or evening. Some persons of family will go out some times. Use that gap to chant and worship.
(Why Arjuna blames only women, not men in Bhagavad Gita 1.40? READ HERE!)
Just keep thinking of Krishna and praying Him to free your situation suitable to manage the services to Him. He will arrange.
The morning time Brahma Muhurtha, etc are recommended only for those who have suitable atmosphere in the family to practice as they wish. For others like you, you can practice at any time you find in your family and chant any number of rounds as per the available time.
Whenever you have more time practice more. When you have less time, practice less. This is how many women serve Krishna in a non-cooperative families.
Krishna will understand this unavoidable reasons from your side.
But, always keep Krishna in mind as Gopis did. It is more important.
Hope you are clear now.
(DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE FOR MEN AND WOMEN – VERDICT OF INDIAN SCRIPTURES! READ HERE!)