Not excelling both in devotion and material life? Tips to manage!
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Hare Krishna Prabhuji. Prabhuji I try my best to control my senses but at times I fail and same happened today. I have committed the greatest sin. Today around 4:30 AM I was on mobile and was feeling very lusty. I saw the wrong content (p**n) while wearing kanthi and the locket of Bhagvan. Since, then I am feeling very sinful. How can I repent I am feeling very sinful and shameful. Sometimes, I watch during ekadashi fast, kartik maas fast too though I feel shameful after it but this is offense. How to come out of it? How can I repent? I am also at time weak in my practices. I dont feel like to do anything. I feel there is no passion about anything in my life in my 20s also. No passion to live, no happiness. Just feel frustrated whole day and keep remembering past incidents and lament over them. I want to be serious. I fail everywhere. People also say me you are failure therefore r so much into God. Everyone abuses me and blame me for everything. No one sees that when I am bullied but when I react everyone says I am only root of every fights and coz of me family will break. If I am like this before marriage what you will do after marriage. You will hear abuses there too. Prabhuji sometimes I feel I should die but then I always feel that I should make my life successful by being serious in bhakti. It is okay if I am unable to do anything materially. I will be housewife if married and if not I will live with my parents and focus on devotion. But again all this happens. Sometimes I feel I am mad.”
REPLY:
Simply speaking, you are fighting between senses and also desire to follow devotion.
As a result, Not excelling both in devotion and material life.
This is how many devotees are following devotion.
You are not the only person to fight like this.
(PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES WHILE FIGHTING BETWEEN DEVOTION AND MATERIAL LIFE – A CASE STUDY! READ HERE!)
Here, I like to clarify TWO things:
“Understanding the needs of life”
And
“Balancing the Priorities in life!”
UNDERSTANDING THE NEEDS OF LIFE:
One can’t live without money.
For that, one should earn and settle in life to fulfill the needs of the material life.
Unless you study well and earn well, you will not be able to fulfill all the needs of your life.
To study and earn well, you should do the things to do perfectly in every age.
How?
Till the age of 5, you should enjoy the life with games, prayers, slokas, friends, etc.
Between the age 5 and 21, you should have ONLY ONE PRIMARY TARGET in life. It is to focus only in the studies neglecting the sense disturbances, agitations and not getting disturbed by the irresponsible way of life of other boys and girls.
Even while studying, you should get clear preparedness in employability skills, ie., English speaking, Latest technological developments of their target career, awareness about the current trend of their target field, the skills needed to enter and shine in your target career, the competition existing in your target field, etc.
(I have no interest in material life after following devotion. What to do? READ HERE!)
While preparing for the career settlement, be in touch with devotional practices and basic learning in devotion. Read Bhagavad Gita alone during the student age, Chant a few rounds and visit the temple only on Sundays and holidays.
Don’t confuse with the devotional life while studying. It will reduce your focus in studies and preparedness for the job.
After getting settled in a good job, focus more in devotion.
This plan alone will make you prepared to face the pressures of material life.
If you are not prepared to face the pressures of material life, you can’t follow devotion peacefully.
Then, your struggles in leading the material life will affect the performance in devotion.
(Fearing for full Spiritual life or Material life! Solutions! READ HERE!)
BALANCING THE PRIORITIES IN LIFE:
One Should focus in one activity at a time. He can involve in devotional activities for a short period every day till they complete their studies.
Because, you should plan, perform and settle in the material life to follow spiritual life without material pressures.
So, spare 90% of time for studies and 10% of time in basic sadhanas and basic reading for Krishna, till you complete the studies.
After getting job, focus more in devotion; Get initiated; Then choose a devotee boy and marry him.
If you are unable to find a good boy at all, even after sincere efforts, lead a pure life following devotion as sincerely as possible dedicating your life for Krishna. However, you need not quit your job. It will help you to take care of yourself during your old age.
This should be one’s planning of his/ her life for following devotion without suffering in the day to day life.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?
Stop developing self pity. Don’t waste your life by not taking efforts in getting a job for you.
Why should you fix your mind to be a housewife?
Why can’t you resign the job if it is not possible for you after marriage?
Devotion alone will not give you food and shelter till your end. No organization can take full responsibility to protect you.
Devotion is to prepare yourself to go back to Krishna after this life;
But you need to work and earn to live this life till you leave this world and go back to Krishna.
In this kaliyuga, no one is ready to take responsibility of others. So, you should not depend on others for your needs.
(Remembering Krishna in a sensitive job. Alternative way! Tips! READ HERE!)
So, start now. Review yourself. For what fields you can go for job.
Go out of home and work. Meet different types of people and understand the realities of life.
Try your best to get your desired career.
Don’t fix your mind to be a housewife alone. It is better to work till you and husband decide to resign your job because of family needs.
When you do some job and earn, you may have more weightage during marriage.
Not excelling both in devotion and material life is a problem that arises because of not being serious about both material and spiritual life.
As far as watching the unwanted videos in phones is concerned, it shows that you are not serious about your life and you don’t have the knowledge and awareness about how seriously this world is going and how seriously we should take efforts to comfortably live in this life.
Now, you are under the care of your parents. So, your mind is free to watch them. When you face the pressures of the real life, you will stop those nonsenses automatically.
I have already written about this in detail in the following post. Read, Think and follow.
(SPIRITUAL TIPS TO AVOID WATCHING SENSE INDUCING CONTENTS! READ HERE!)
Simultaneously, follow devotional practices as sincerely as possible.
Think of the above tips and implement in life.
Don’t think negatively to escape from this life that will not give good status after leaving this world.
Hope these tips are useful to deal with the matter of not excelling both in devotion and material life!
(Improving in devotion but weakening in studies. What to do? READ HERE!)