My involvement in devotion fluctuates with mood. How to be always stable?
A Girl devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Radheshyam Prabhuji. All glories to Radhe Krishna and acharyas . Prabhuji I have read that one has to give up attachment to be close to Krishna. At times when someone behave rudely I feel sudden detachment that this world is bad and only Krishna is mine. But, when everyone is showering there love and giving respect I feel thats good. Krishna and world both are mine. Within my heart I realise this is trap of Mayadevi. But, how to be strict to follow devotional practices? I know there are bful devotees who feel nice serving Krishna. I too feel nice but there are times when I m having darshan, serving Krishna, chanting but my mind is going somewhere else that I dont even remember what I read in Shrimad Bhagwatam. Poor me. No doubts in this. How to be strict in Krishna Consciousness? Because I feel my mind and heart are like spoiled kids. They will think what I dont want to think. How to improve on this? Pls hide my name “
This is natural for most of the devotees. Nothing to worry as every devotee has to cross this stage. One can not become pure overnight. He has to cross these stages before becoming pure.
(How to become a pure devotee and attach with Krishna? READ HERE!)
This shows that your devotion is still packed with some expectations and material attachments that makes your devotion fluctuates with mood.
When others show love, you enjoy that favourable status and Krishna both.
When others are rude, you treat this world not yours, but only Krishna.
This is the basic of sanyasa and devotional taste.
Most of the devotees come to devotion seriously getting frustrated with the material relations. Even a love failure can bring one closer to Krishna. He wil be thinking only about his lover till everything goes fine. Suddenly, when his lover cheats him or parts him, he starts to think of Krishna and suddenly one day, he comes to the temple as a surprise. If he gets another lover, again he forgets Krishna.
(10 REASONS WHY ISKCON IS ABLE TO CREATE PURE DEVOTEES MORE? READ HERE!)
That is why, Krishna gives failures for some persons to bring them closer to Himself.
He did this to Srila Prabhupada also. When Prabhupada was manipulating the pharma business in spite of some successand failures, Krishna made him to abandon that business so as to make him successful in His service.
Since Srila Prabhupada lost his grip in material business, he came fully dedicated to Krishna and his guru.
In my case too, Krishna did not make me to stick with my business for ever. He made my mind to think against my being engaged in my business all the time since it did not allow me to serve Krishna better. He is freeing me from business and giving a situation to make devotional service as my sole activity in life.
(READ HERE THE QUALITIES OF A PURE DEVOTEE OF KRISHNA)
Thus, only if we develop detachment or if we lose something in material life, we will go closer to Krishna.
Or, if we develop in devotion to Krishna, we will develop detachment with material life.
What you feel is right. Nothing to worry.
If you feel this world is also important when others praise you, that means, you enjoy that praise and hence develop attachment with this world. At the same time, you add Krishna also unable to desert Him. Thus, you oscillate between the both – Material emotions and Krishna.
All you have to do is either stop feeling happy if others praise you, or, do not spend time with those who are always praising you.
Now, you will not have to hear praises from anyone. So, you will think of Krishna exclusively.
(WHAT TO DO TO AVOID FORGETTING KRISHNA BECAUSE OF BUSY LIFE? READ HERE!)
Krishna has clearly advised in Bhagavad Gita to remain consistent in both the twins like success and failures, praise and insults, ups and downs, etc.
If you allow yourself to be affected by the emotions, then you allow the devotion fluctuates with mood, you will treat Krishna only as the additional relation.
If you are steady in all types of emotions, you will keep Krishna prominently and primarily in your heart.
If you learn to be steady in all the situations, you will go closer to Krishna more and more and no disappointments or praises will be abe to divert you from Krishna.
Hope this helps.
(HOW TO REMEMBER KRISHNA ALL THE TIME WITHOUT FORGETTING HIM? READ HERE!)