How to cultivate the children disciplined in treating the women with dignity?
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Prabhu. I am a devotee from ………… . I am 51 years old. I have two children (boys). I observe drastic changes in the life styles of my sons and they freely mingle with girls in college and work and I do not doubt them and believe they are good. Still, i have some fear whether they are behaving properly with them. If you write how should they behave to girls, I will forward your reply to them. Please help me in this. Thank you and Hare Krishna”
REPLY:
This advice of how to cultivate the children disciplined in treating the women with dignity, is needed for many young boys in this society as the kaliyuga is advancing causing worries in the minds of those who like to keep this world disciplined.
But, keeping complete discipline is not possible even in the heavenly planets. We have heard even the heavenly planet’s leader Indra who has been cursed because of his affinity towards women.
However, if we like to lead a principled life, we can protect ourselves using the more powerful weapon than maya, ie, by being sincere in Krishna Consciousness.
Srila Prabhupada says to treat other women as mothers.
(Read this Post to know how to get married if we consider the girls as mothers).
He requests us to maintain such a clean mindset when we see other women.
This does not mean that they are mothers by blood. Actually, one will have only one ACTUAL mother from whose womb he came. But, we must SEE AND TREAT other women LIKE mothers. Because, mother – son is the only relation that is healthy and pure on earth. In general, the people see their mother with a clean mind. So, Prabhupada told so to prevent the males from involving in violative activities with other women.
Once a boy marries a girl, he has to have relations only with that girl and spare others. Others should not be disturbed. Other women are the future/ present wives or daughters of some other Persons. His wife alone is his exclusive relation allocated for him. If he disturbs a married girl, that means, he is trying to take the wife of another man. If he tries to disturb an unmarried girl, he is trying to take the daughter of a person. Anyway, a girl belongs to a husband or a father. Once a girl is married, she is an exclusive wife of a boy. So, we have no right to approach her. If a girl is unmarried, his father has a choice of to whom he must give his daughter in marriage. That is final.
(If our spouse is already decided by karma, why should we see horoscopes for marriage? READ HERE!)
So, both married and unmarried girls/ women are others’ relations. Krishna has given birth to approximately 400 crores of men and 400 crores of women in this world equally. (more or less). Why? Because, He has allotted one boy and one girl. If he takes another, he steals the “WOULD BE” or “WIFE” of another man. So, the man-woman number balance is affected. A boy is entitled to have only one girl. That girl is your relation. Another girl is another’s relation as wife or daughter.
So, one need not hesitate to treat ONLY ONE GIRL as wife. It is approved. Treat others LIKE mothers. That will be a respectful look. If there is no control like this, the boys will dare to disturb whichever girl they see. There will be chaos in this world.
(Can we meet the same relatives in next birth? Are they our soulmates? READ HERE!)
Now, let us see what Srila Prabhupada said how to cultivate the children disciplined in treating the women with dignity in a morning walk on 25.10.75 in Mauritius as a common advice for all including elders:
“Prabhupada:
Yes. First of all be yourself a cultured man, a gentleman. You are worse than animals. What animals cannot do, you are doing. Hare Krsna. (break) …man is defined by Canakya Pandit.
ma-tr.vat para-da-res.u
para-dravyes.u los.t.ravat
a-tmavat sarva-bhu-tes.u
yah. pas’yati sa pan.d.itah.
Here is culture. First thing is, any woman except one’s own wife.
Pusta Krsna:
What is that, Srila Prabhupada?
Prabhupada:
Any woman should be looked upon as mother. This is culture. Except his married wife, all women should be treated as mother. The brahmacaris were taught like that, “Mother.” This is culture. Simply they are trying to elope other’s wife, other’s woman, exploit them. And they’re cultured. There is no culture at the present moment. ………………..Where is culture? They do not know what is the meaning of culture. Here is culture, three words:
ma-tr.vat para-da-res.u
para-dravyes.u los.t.ravat
a-tmavat sarva-bhu-tes.u
yah. pas’yati sa pan.d.itah.
He is cultured.
Pusta Krsna: Otherwise just animal.
Prabhupada: Simply animal.
Pusta Krsna: It is very logical.
Devotee: Srila Prabhupada, should we call all the women “mother”?
Prabhupada: Yes. And treat it like mother. Not only call, but treat it like mother.
So, Except the present or future wife, “SEE … CONSIDER…AND.. TREAT” other women as mothers.
This will be good for everyone and for the entire society. This will also help in proper following of devotion to Lord without much disturbances and violations.
Tell these advices to your sons. Make them chant more and encourage them to read about Krishna.
Only because they have insufficient intake of the messages about Krishna, maya could easily occupy them.
Desires towards the persons of opposite gender can’t be removed mechanically or just by giving boring advices. If the parents feed more contents about Krishna to them, they may not get easily attracted to cheap emotions.
Of course, genuine emotions between a boy and girl are welcome, but, those emotions should be based on spiritual considerations. That means, one should choose a spouse or lover based on the consideration whether that person will be cooperative and suitable for following devotion together. Getting attracted just by seeing the outlook or wealth may not last long because both the beauty and wealth will not stay with a person for ever.
Also feed them that both the bodies of the boys and girls are similar except 2 or 3 different organs for the purpose of progeny. The man has organs to supply cells to woman for progeny. The woman has organs to accept the cells of man and to bear and to feed the child.
This is the only difference between a man and woman.
Then, why should a man consider the organs of woman as special and vice versa? By considering as if a man or woman has something special, he/ she involves in many offenses and crimes. These organs will get destroyed once the soul leaves the body.
(Will Krishna treat all as wife if every soul treats Krishna as husband? READ HERE!)
Our body has only those things that we see outside in this material creations. Our body is made up of soil, water, fire, air and empty space. That is why, when the soul leaves, the body mingles with the soil and disappears after a few years as one with the soil (of course, except bones as they are made up of calcium)
Telling these points, encourage your children to see all the persons as souls, not the bodies. Since the souls are the parts of the Supersoul Krishna, guide them to see Krishna in every soul.
Such advices will make them have real knowledge about the living beings including the persons of opposite gender.
This is not an one day magical process. It should be guided consistently i8n regular intervals.
This will create good generations.
Hope you are clear about how to cultivate the children disciplined in treating the women with dignity.
(8 IMPORTANT QUESTIONS ON SOUL (ATHMA) ENTERING THE BODIES! READ HERE!)