How should a devotee treat and behave with the women?
A male devotee (Name hidden) asked like this:
“Prabhu. I am from ………… only. I am 51 years old. I have two children (boys). I observe drastic changes in the life styles of my sons and they freely mingle with girls in college and work and I do not doubt them and believe they are good. Still, i have some fear whether they are behaving properly with them. If you write how should they behave to girls, I will forward your reply to them. Please help me in this. Thank you and Hare Krishna”
This advice is needed for many young boys of this society. Srila Prabhupada says to treat other women as mothers. (Read this Post to know how to get married if we consider the girls as mothers). He requests us to maintain our mindset like that when we see other women.
This does not mean that they are mothers by blood. Actually, one will have only one ACTUAL mother from whose womb he came. But, we must SEE AND TREAT other women LIKE mothers. Because, mother – son is the only relation where there is no material illicit activities. In general, the people see their mother without any contaminated mind. Mostly, the relation between mother and son is pure one. So, Prabhupada told so to prevent the males from involving in illicit activities with other women.
Once a boy marries a girl, he has to have relations only with that girl and spare others. Others should not be disturbed. Other women are the future/ present wives or daughters of some other males or fathers or mothers. His wife alone is his exclusive relation. If he disturbs a married girl, that means, he is trying to take the wife of another husband. If he tries to disturb an unmarried girl, he is trying to take the daughter of a father. Anyway, a girl is the right of a husband or a father. Once a girl is married, she is an exclusive relative of a boy. So, we have no right to approach her. If a girl is unmarried, his father has a choice of to whom he must give his daughter in marriage. That is final.
So, both married and unmarried girls/ women are others’ relations. Krishna has allowed 350 crores of men and 350 crores of women in this world equally. (With slight ups and downs). Why? Because, He expects that one boy should stop with only one girl. If he takes another, he steals the “WOULD BE” or “WIFE” of another man. So, the man-woman number balance is affected. A boy is entitled to have only one girl. That girl is your relation. Another girl is another’s relation as wife or daughter.
So, one should not hesitate to treat ONLY ONE GIRL as wife. It is approved. Treat others LIKE mothers. That will be a respectful look. If there is no control like this, the boys will dare to disturb whichever girl they see. There will be chaos in this world.
Now, let us see what Srila Prabhupada said like this in a morning walk on 25.10.75 in Mauritius:
Yes. First of all be yourself a cultured man, a gentleman. You are worse than animals. What animals cannot do, you are doing. Hare Krsna. (break) …man is defined by Canakya Pandit.
yah. pas’yati sa pan.d.itah.
Here is culture. First thing is, any woman except one’s own wife.
What is that, Srila Prabhupada?
Any woman should be looked upon as mother. This is culture. Except his married wife, all women should be treated as mother. The brahmacaris were taught like that, “Mother.” This is culture. Simply they are trying to elope other’s wife, other’s woman, exploit them. And they’re cultured. There is no culture at the present moment. ………………..Where is culture? They do not know what is the meaning of culture. Here is culture, three words:
yah. pas’yati sa pan.d.itah.
He is cultured.
Pusta Krsna: Otherwise just animal.
Prabhupada: Simply animal.
Pusta Krsna: It is very logical.
Devotee: Srila Prabhupada, should we call all the women “mother”?
Prabhupada: Yes. And treat it like mother. Not only call, but treat it like mother.
So, Except the present or future wife, “SEE … CONSIDER…. TREAT” other women as mothers.
This will be good for everyone and for the entire society. This will also help in proper following of devotion to Lord without much disturbances and violations.